Jun 19, 2009
I feel this amazing Calm has come over me. The kind of calm you feel when you have finally made a very tuff decision and you feel the weight of the world slide off your shoulders...I have decided to put a stop to my disappointment in my daughter. I am done jumping thru hoops and always letting my feelings slide, just so she would show me some attention and affection and be there for me as I am always for her... I have tried and tried to maintain, what has become, a one-sided, totally unfulfilling relationship with her. You can, and do deal with always giving and expecting nothing in return when they are young children, but, by the age of 35, and a mother of two herself, you begin to expect or desire, a fair amount of giving and taking, a relationship on a little more even footing...I listen and support you and you listen and support me. When did my precious little girl turn into this self-centered woman, who is a stranger to me, only going thru the motions of giving a damn about anything I am going thru? It doesn't matter when it happened, it happened! So, I am done. Does that mean that I don't love my daughter?? No. Will I be there when she needs me?? Yes. I'm just thru taking the initiative, all the time, to make this relationship work. If I was a gambler, I would bet a lot of money that she won't even notice...So, that is how I feel, right this moment...will I stay strong in my resolve? I don't know, I will take it, one day at a time...