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can't fix stupid

Jun 19, 2009 - 6 comments

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1, and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman ,  KS .

My daughter went to a local Taco  Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask.."

Happened in  Birmingham ,  Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita ,  KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the  Dallas  County Sheriffs office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service departmen t and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton ,  Mississippi


They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and


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442658 tn?1563386491
by merrymaria, Jun 19, 2009
very true.....those were funny...thanks for the brighter side of  :O

Avatar universal
by teko, Jun 19, 2009
LOL! These are great! My da tends bar at the local TGIF, she is going to post it in the kitchen! lol

203342 tn?1328737207
by April2, Jun 19, 2009
Hey, I think I've met those McDonald's employees!!! They work here!!! LOL
Yes, they walk among us!

775793 tn?1245460485
by imalive79, Jun 19, 2009
i live in wichita, ks and McDonalds forgot the chicken on my chicken sandwich just last night.  

203342 tn?1328737207
by April2, Jun 19, 2009
Ha ha ha ha!!!! I believe it!!!

675347 tn?1365460645
by ginger899, Jun 19, 2009
Boogieman! That was SO funny! Thank you!

I went to Macdonald's years ago because I was on the road at the time, there was nowhere else to eat,  and my dog and I were hungry.

I ordered a burger and a bun and chips (fries) for me and a coke. Then I asked for two burgers, no onion, without a bun, and a bowl of water on the side.
"We don't DO water" The assistant said (after giving me a funny look about the 2 onionless, bunless burgers I'd ordered)
"Aw have got water back there somewhere" I said, "I KNOW you have. Can I have it in ....I don't know, just some sort of plastic bowl or something?"
"....Why would you want that?" The assistant said looking at me suspiciously.
"It's for my dog"
"We haven't got water. You'll have to get another Coke". He said
"My dog doesn't drink Coke" I replied.
"It could have Fanta" He said.
"Just give me a plastic bowl, or some kind of used food container please."
He called another assistant over, and I repeated my request. They looked at me as if I was with Al Qaeda.
The manager was called. He came. I repeated my request, and told him why. Eventually I got a plastic ice-cream container THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I went to the bathroom and filled it up with water myself. From a tap which only ran for three seconds.

Seems like water is a partly unknown phenomenon, and extremely rare, at Mc Donalds.......

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