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Jan 09, 2014 - 6 comments

oh gah ... oh gah ... oh gah  ...    ACHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     omg that felt SO good its like a sneeze feels when it is trying to come and you can't sneeze

that's how its been w/o my medhelp.  but DAIM!!!  it ben worser!!!!  worser than a stifled or lost sneeze!

Worst Than A Lost Sneeze ... and other stories

omg mh I freakin MISSED YOOOOOOO


I was so scare come back on my mh like aw spit man WHO?  WHO?  meeg what?   coleslaw???? ha ha my name rimes with coleslaw!!!!  ha ha I am going to write a poem


ok, don't do that.  forget it brung it up.  that's not a very glorious rhyme so ... forget it

OOOH I ben gone!  and I was so happy to see the notes and stuff you guys rote when I was gone I mean.  I am sorry I worried you but I am so glad you wrote all that sweet and meaningful stuff I will try to reply back to each one ok.  ya.  ty so much.  I loved each and every word that every one of you Wrote.

I am sorry.

I am very sorry to put any concern on ya mind.


I have had some Very Trying Days

but im KLEEN



Meegy you rock AND you roll sister!!!!    don't you forget it!

oh medhelp.

it was so Dark days for Meegy.  alls the days I was gone were dark days like I in a dungeon the bottom of a hole.  like that movie silence of the lambs but im thinner than that girl sorry just had to say ... no offense  she was pretty I think


so like the day before Ktown, ya cik that was part of it but not all of it ... I was SO depress and I like call a few ppl and no one there for Meegy like ... everyone let the fuh go!  ya!!!!!  not you guys.  but like .. ok I won't say names.  and then ... it was like the Nasty Scene with the ac kept going in my mind and ... how he say all this wack spit to me like 'I loooove you and I am Innnto you unlike rr and I wwwwwant you but I am Struggling with my Demons' and medhelp I aint telled you this but for the ony second time in the history of mankind he said "my addiction' meaning his drinking and like start to almost cry?  he is sincere.  I mean he don't fake cry he aint like that.

um and he go 'I am thinking maybe I did wrong thing'

and that freaks me up man!  cuz.  contrary to pop belief I am not flaky wack chick who ONY want sex with a millin guy NO that aint true I mean thoughts yes but deeds not really ... you might catch me in one or two quagmires so to speak but uh ... on the whole im  on the level.  like.  the level.

and ... my heart don't give ez you know.  like I will Take the Opp  (NO I don't mean other ppls you know what gah) to say this.  I love S.  I do.  im glad we are no longer touch but I really love him.  he is a good person.  and he Can be very sweet.  and I think he has a pretty big --  omg jk and um ... I love rr.  of course you KNOW I do by now Haaaaaaaaaaaa and I aint made that deciz quick Contrary to pop belee it took like oh almost a year back in the day and now allllllllllls the time I spent following him on shall we call it Twitter ... Meegy slow down!  baby you aint make no cents

sorry.  and the point is I love the ac.  I don't know that I would ever go back with him but I do love him.  I mean, wouldn't I be like Ebenezerra Scrooge if I aint?  ya  .. it would be weird.  I mean .. the nature of the love may change ... maybe has already ...

anyhoo.  when he tell me that stuff medhelp I hate it like ... just stick with one um position which is lets get a divorce.  its like rr.  don't come back and fuhk with me!!! I mean

ok enuf

GAH its so DOPE writing my j and being back on my MEDHELP!!!!

so between 1.  ktown and 2.  the ac wack speech and behavior   and 3.  rr

I was like

I mean I was like


no, not ON the level, but leveled.  and let me tell you it take a LOT Of humility to come on here and say that b/c that bad man will get power from my weakness.  or something.  but I am hoping he aint like that.  ok

try and protect me like u used to ok?  ty


there Are some really cool guys around mh they are my friends on medhelp  yay!  ty ty  ty   you are so cool

and OF COURSE my laydeez that goes without saying.  toss your head and flip your hair laydeez, with attitude!  ya, you know it!  you know your hot!!!!! yayyyyyyy laydeez!


that bus ride take LONG time.  one time a very cute black guy offer me his seat I say nope.!!!  I am strong!  but he go with very nice voice 'well you just let me know if you change your mind.'  ok

the bus ok but you got to not make eye contact with anyone unless cute guy but like other ppl and crazy ppl are all over and you got to be Very Careful

and the train is a Nightmare.  I take it before but I guess in the past I did not just get kicked, stomped on, and dumped in the huge trash bin at the landfill by 2 men one of whom I had pined after for ... oh, a couple years ... and um ... im not upset about that or nothin .... and I guess I sort of half wanted to teach down there the director made it seem cool. but now sence she Force me to do it and she Know I don't wanna and she and I are on BAD terms it SOCKS so bad its like ... like you want to go ... 'Ktown, EAT ME when I am dirty and unwashed and nasty!"  like that

that's gross, Meegy.  ty

and um .. that train is in the BOWELS of the earth.  my switch train is even DEEPER down and NOT in a good way

oooooooooooooh lor

and it take 90 MINUTES to get to work!!!!!!!!!

today I had to get up EARLIER cuz I was (purposefully) late the first two days!

I was so very depress medhelp

I turned off my fone!!!  YES all day!!!!  my fone and laptop is connected to my belly button.  or something u get it

um ... yeah I turn the fone off alls day Monday and Tuesday Im all NO ONE CARE about Meegy ANYWAY!!!!!!  

I know D.

I know.

so like that

and like, Monday class was oh all rite caint be worser than in Meegy crazed up mind and Tuesday class a little better even and Wed today was well


I was trying to fuhk up this gig all over the place like FIRE ME BEEIOTCH!!!  GO AHEAD!  I sent out 3 resumes and got one fone call back (when the fone was on) from this like charter school substitute placement agency its aite I will do that ... I am ready to teach the little fookers again

I miss them

and ...

check it medhelp I was SO ANGRY At work today cuz like, ... omg Alexa is the Head Teacher I used to dig her so much I thought she was OH SO HOT but now OH MY GAH yeah she trip and fall off the peddy too baby just like you ... maybe you like her?  um .... she's very light.  yes.  sorry.  not trying to be mean.  just a joke.  and um ... she ax me all kinds of q's Monday like 'Meegy you a writer.  how would YOU teach this toefl question" I am so mad at her cuz I think she ratted me out to the Director that I was unhappy not getting paid for the extra admin spit I do?  yah.  so I am like 'shove that question up your skinny azz boo foo' but I aint say that naw.  like , dog, EYE would teach the essay just like the freakin book SEZ to, stupid!'  she was like 'that was helpful' lol ... well u asked

and then today she go "oh, Meegy would you be able to stay half a hour extra for teacher mtg today' and I aint answer right away and smile like i use to cuz i hate all these Ktown Biches and i go "ummmm ... hmmmm ... ok'

so check it at the meeting she has the NERVE and Audacity to say "Oh, MEEGY" in front of EVERYONE, SIX other Teachers and the Director!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  "OH HEY Meegy, some of your students came up to me today and told me some really nice compliments about your class!  they realy like you!'

i am like DOG why you lyin?  like WHY LIE???? why would ppl DO that?  why did my students LIE and why did SHE LIE about what they said???? just tell the freakin truth man!!!

Alls the way down in the llelevator to the first floor i was steamed and trying to figure out why these ppl would all lie.  seriously.  then i took it down a notch to like, dismay all the way to the train.  like OH wait.  meegy wait.  its Tha Truf.  they really said that.

but why?


ok.  take a deep breath.

yeah ok i KNOWS It i ben doing a bang up job better than you ben bangin it rr  .... omg sorry

medhelp i have to plan a HOUR a night!!!  a whole HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is way more prep than the other place WAY more intense.  i hate all these biches she hired two new teachers one is a skinny bich with a rat nose and a Gucci bag they can kiss my freakin azz!  angry much, Meegy?  naw man i ain.  just, i seen tons of these biches come thru the doors in two years and i am SO SICK and jaded of the director and all their teacher talk and blah blah blah blah this that and just teach the daim class stupid and leave me alone.

ok done.


how do you really feel about teaching Meegy?


i hate my students.  idk why the director hired TWO NEW teachers for beginning and low intermediate and make MEEEE teach Advanced.!!!!  everyone KNOW i don't know the difference between a dangling modifier (don't even go there) and a misplaced modifier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok i do.

but still!  EYE want to teach beginner!   EYE want to teach Low Intermediate!  theres something to teach them and they WANT to learn

UGH Advanced a bunch of entitled rich overprivileged snooty pantsed nightmares who don't even need to be in skule except to keep their I-20 current for Immigration!!!!!!!!!!!!

how was it you felt about teaching Meegy?


i will tell you more about my Gems of Students another time.  I detest and loathe almost all of them.  i have ten enrolled and 6 or 7 attend.  freak them.

the Perisan lady who is like my age and Totally Confrontation the first day and not that great today like DUDE you teach the class here's a white board marker!  she come up to me today and tell me "Oh teacher we are so glad to have you teaching us thank you for being with us"  like YAH you SHOULD Be thanking me for being with you you pretentious windbag!

ok ... really dun.

A Good Thing

im clean

Another Good Thing

dragged my fine azz to Women's Mtg today.  OH how i did not want to go.  this week medhelp sides depress been whirlwind activity cuz im getting back from skule late, like 3pm , then immediately work out, then write, then do lesson plans, straighten house it is SO busy and hard and i been sleeping like rumplefukkinstiltskin

so i had to take 90 chip?  i was feelin SO bad when i went in.  my laydeez was all glad to see me and i try to be polite but am like Meegy glum girl.  i aint even been wearing no makeup this week, i don't wear a lot but lipstick and ghost powder for my ghost white skin

this girl Allison is chip girl she real tall and tatted out.  she young.  Medhelp my laydeez made SO MUCH NOISE for me i had to smile almost laugh!!  they went on and on clapping and pounding the tables and yelling out my name mh it was so amazing so freakin DOPE!!!!!  i was so touch.  and everyone hug and congratulate me later like i am proud of you Meegy and all the laydeez just make SUPER BIG FUSS over me i am SO popular!!!!  they love me

its ok mtg.  Tracilords took cake for year and she say we have to go to movies.  Susan there we all good.  and a lot of my other friends and the Lins.  and another girl Tracy is supposed old porn star not that old she look a little familiar Matt was really into porn like the Amber Lynn era/  i saw a lot of those ... i guess.  not really my thing

after Mari is like BIG LECTURE when she find out i don't have sponsor (i told Kara)  and she spend like 20 or 30 w me and talk to me.  she right on the money she tell me again "Meegy you CANT not have a spons your too fragile'  but i tell her dog i dont' belee in god and idk if i belee in the steps.  but we talkin a while.  i tell her i been depress, if i o.d. in my apartment no one find me for days and then it be my manager .. cuz i don't got no one close to me.   she say "I would find you Meegy.  I know where you live.'  i said 'you do?"  she say "Yes you live by Nancy.'  true

then porn star girl who body just ok. just ok.  she talkin to Susan and say "who is that?  she is new.'  about me.  Susan go 'no she's not that new' and the porn girl go "She's pretty!'  awwww.  nice!  or ... idk

funi huh

in the meeting i ran out the room to to cry cuz Megan talk about being alone and lonee in her apartment and she join some dating service to try and meet a guy out of rooms and two guys from rooms answer her ad.  omg.  she so cute idk why she got to put ad.  Megan also made me think a lot about rr and other guys who just like almost like have you like ...'hey i got you' and then they put you down just as fast


that's cuz they aint never had you and you never had them.  

ya i know.  you don't need to remind me.


so now its SO late pass my bedtime

i wrote some days in a notebook for my J i did this for years from like 8-28 ???? im not sure.  and like .. it was SO weird and i was like 'this aint the same!!! i want my medhelp"

i been writing a lot of BAD fiction and listening to a lot of good music

god its gonna be Friday ............... SOMETIME!

medhelp ty for all those kind notes and comments and messages.  i might have to wait til tomorry to get back with you

this has been a extremely trying week

this mh chick tell me tonite "there is no try there is just do'

i hate that spit

that's what turns me off of NA

among other things

ok im bein nice

i love you mh!  a very very very very lot

i missed you!



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1235186 tn?1549257619
by atthebeach, Jan 09, 2014
Oh meeg my girlfriend it is 4 am here I just happened to wake up and see your j and you know what and I am just sooooooo happy and soooo glad with tears of joy for you huni that despite your dark and lonely days that you
Are still 97 days clean. That my friend is a reason to hold your head high.
I am overjoyed that you are here tonite.
I just wanted to let you know, I am going to back sleep and we will talk more tomorrow.
I love you meegan. Mawh and lots of love and hugs.

4522800 tn?1470325834
by VICourageous, Jan 09, 2014
Hi My Meg-Pie..Just thought I would swing by and tell you that I still WUV YOU!! Just not been in my right mind to get on here..Just the Support I have been getting..I too cry alot more then I have ever done in my whole 57 years..NOW You be safe and do not let other people get to you..We ALL have enough on our own plate let alone to be into some one else or some else in ours. You take care and I will be snapping out of this soon I hope..I do miss are nightly visit..Bless U Girl
PS I can not even write right!!

1235186 tn?1549257619
by atthebeach, Jan 09, 2014
And of course very, very, very much so proud of you toooo.

Avatar universal
by ROSYouralright, Jan 09, 2014
Welcome back! I'm sorry life has been so trying... Felicidades on that 90 chip!! Keep rocking it girl!

5429734 tn?1379741413
by mommymarieme, Jan 09, 2014
Oh my goodness it is Meegy! Yeah!! I just got on to see if you had been on and yeah you were! Oh I missed you so much! I am so proud of you Meegy!! You got your 90 day chip! That is awesome that everyone went crazy for you! Everyone loves you Meegy it is true!! How did you react when he said he didn't know if he was making the right decision? Oh my goodness wtf! I am sorry you are no  liking your class that socks! Are you going on an interview for the charter school that called you back? I am so happy you are here and I missed you! Happy 97 days!! Xoxo

1742220 tn?1331356727
by meegWpaw, Jan 09, 2014
omg I love these comments soooo much!  yay!  my mh laydeez rule!  and rock!  and roll!!!!  Debbie you always write such warm and sweet things you are so good to me and you know I Love you so much.  That was an especially nice message that you wrote up there though and I like the Mawh I lot ... back atcha!

Vickie I had a super huge large PIZZA here the other night and I hollered for ya and you wasn't anywhere!  hey now!  ya I ben missing you a very lot and I sure am glad u stopped by.  I know you ben sad and going thru a lot I am so very sorry.  I certainly do not like to hear about my Vickie crying!  here is some Kleenex I will help you dry your tears.  I am glad you still wuv me cuz you know Meegy aint sure about these things and cuz I WUV YOU TOO!!!

ty Rosy!  I miss you.  hows your new year goin?  we gotta catch up.  muchisimas gracias!!!  todavia eres guapa???  yo creo que si!

mommymarie did I tell you that you are Great?   mommymarie you are Great!  I love you !!!  ty so much for everything you wrote.  you are just the super bestest.  you are so sweet.  you always say the most perfect things!!!  you know that huh?  <3    idk mmm I mean, when he said that I am just all 'he don't know what he saying anytime anymore'  you know?  he is always drunk, on the way to a drunk, or on the way up from one.  so I don't put much stock in that spit he says.  ya.  shrug.  Charter is like a agency for subs, idk about them yet ... yeah class socks lol .... ty so much mommy marie!!!!!!

am I 97 days clean?




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