Aa
Does the Cancer Center quit caring?
HI all,
My mom is pretty miserable, she is full of fluid, and doesn't have much of an appetite. She has no energy what so ever. She looks awful; she feels awful.
She loves to talk on the phone, but doesn't even have the energy to do that.
It seems like now that none of her chemos seem to work she is just left hanging in limbo.
Neither she nor my stepdad seem to want to call the cancer center any more because they don't get any results.
I left work early today and drove the quick 35 minutes to see them, because when I had called earlier my stepdad sounded horrible; (he has been sick all week, but that is an altogether different story), anyway, I got there and called the cancer center at 3;30, I made a point to tell them how miserable Mom is, and the receptionist said someone would call us back. I waited until 7 and got no call. Of course they were closed by then.
My plan is to call them first thing in the morning, then go over there on my lunch hour if I don't hear from them.
Am I being too harsh? Am I expecting too much?
Is there certain questions I should be asking, or phrases I should be using to get their attention?
Thanks for letting me unload, Colleen
My mom is pretty miserable, she is full of fluid, and doesn't have much of an appetite. She has no energy what so ever. She looks awful; she feels awful.
She loves to talk on the phone, but doesn't even have the energy to do that.
It seems like now that none of her chemos seem to work she is just left hanging in limbo.
Neither she nor my stepdad seem to want to call the cancer center any more because they don't get any results.
I left work early today and drove the quick 35 minutes to see them, because when I had called earlier my stepdad sounded horrible; (he has been sick all week, but that is an altogether different story), anyway, I got there and called the cancer center at 3;30, I made a point to tell them how miserable Mom is, and the receptionist said someone would call us back. I waited until 7 and got no call. Of course they were closed by then.
My plan is to call them first thing in the morning, then go over there on my lunch hour if I don't hear from them.
Am I being too harsh? Am I expecting too much?
Is there certain questions I should be asking, or phrases I should be using to get their attention?
Thanks for letting me unload, Colleen
hi there, i do hope your mum will have some relief very soon, i will be thinking of you both, and hugs to your mum and you x
Mom was able to go to the bigger hospital 35 miles from her today and they drained her. She still looks worn to a frazzle, and she is. She should be feeling some relief now.
Still no word on when she might see an oncologist again.
Still no word on when she might see an oncologist again.
No one could drain her fluid, because they don't have anyone to do it ? I don't understand ? I remember my spouse dragging me from Dr to Dr trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and I was so tired I just went home and laid on the couch and told him I couldnt go anywhere else I was beat down. So I can understand how your Mom feels. But when I asked to be drained before my surgery date twice there was no hesitation from the Drs. and I am right next to you in Wa, I went to the University of Wa medical center. Give your Mom a hug for me. I hope that you can get some resolution!
Kathy
Kathy
Hi Everyone, thank you for your support.
I called the Cancer Center about 9:30 this am, the nurse called me back, and said she would get back to me. Another nurse called later and said they had taled to my mom and told her to come there to get her abdominal cavity drained. She tearfully told them she was to weak to make the trip; she is about 35 miles away from there, they called back and told her to call 911 to come and take her to her local hospital which is only about 10 minutes away. My sister-in-law was there so she drove mom, instead of calling 911. There was a miscommunication between the cancer center and the hospital so no one knew what Mom was there for.
They said no one could drain her fluid until July 18th!!!
How absolutely foolish is that?
They did give her an IV and sent her home. She sounds stronger, but is still pretty wiped out.
My brother will call the cancer center administrator tomorrow, and talk to him or her about what has been happening. He lives in Oklahoma and we are in Idaho, so but he is really good at handling things like that.
It is such a blessing to have him to lean on, even with the great distance between us.
Thank you all again, Colleen
I called the Cancer Center about 9:30 this am, the nurse called me back, and said she would get back to me. Another nurse called later and said they had taled to my mom and told her to come there to get her abdominal cavity drained. She tearfully told them she was to weak to make the trip; she is about 35 miles away from there, they called back and told her to call 911 to come and take her to her local hospital which is only about 10 minutes away. My sister-in-law was there so she drove mom, instead of calling 911. There was a miscommunication between the cancer center and the hospital so no one knew what Mom was there for.
They said no one could drain her fluid until July 18th!!!
How absolutely foolish is that?
They did give her an IV and sent her home. She sounds stronger, but is still pretty wiped out.
My brother will call the cancer center administrator tomorrow, and talk to him or her about what has been happening. He lives in Oklahoma and we are in Idaho, so but he is really good at handling things like that.
It is such a blessing to have him to lean on, even with the great distance between us.
Thank you all again, Colleen
Colleen~
Throw a fit. Make it public, too. Maybe in the waiting room. If they tell you to calm down, tell them 'no, not until I speak with someone about this'. If you make it public, then there's no way they can ignore you.
I'd do the same for my mom... Keep fighting and don't take being ignored for an answer!
~Marianne
Throw a fit. Make it public, too. Maybe in the waiting room. If they tell you to calm down, tell them 'no, not until I speak with someone about this'. If you make it public, then there's no way they can ignore you.
I'd do the same for my mom... Keep fighting and don't take being ignored for an answer!
~Marianne
Colleen,
I agree with all of the other ladies. Make a huge scene and there is no way they can ignore you. DEMAND that they see your mother TODAY!!! Take your mom with you and let them see how sick she really is. Let them say No to her face. Who gives them the right to treat you mother this way!! I am so fired up right now, I can not imagin how you feel. Please keep trying. Make a huge pest of yourself. Something has to work. Kasie
I agree with all of the other ladies. Make a huge scene and there is no way they can ignore you. DEMAND that they see your mother TODAY!!! Take your mom with you and let them see how sick she really is. Let them say No to her face. Who gives them the right to treat you mother this way!! I am so fired up right now, I can not imagin how you feel. Please keep trying. Make a huge pest of yourself. Something has to work. Kasie
I find it hard to believe that people can be so callous... Maybe call someone else. Go to your Local ER, that is where I got the help that I needed most. I don't know your area maybe you could post town and someone could give you an alternative.
I am Praying and thinking of you all.
Kathy
I am Praying and thinking of you all.
Kathy
Thats just simply outrageous. I imagine your mom feeels to damn tired to put up a fight with some halfwit on the other end of the phone so if I were you id certainly take charge. Be assertive and make some noise how dare they treat you this way makes my blood boil. Get on that phone and get some answers and dont be worried about offending or annoying no way.
Anna x
Anna x
No, this response is not a normal or proper procedure for any cancer treatment center. The proper procedure for a patient for whom no treatment seems to be working is to release the patient to the care of another doctor or treatment center (perhaps even for a treatment study), or to counsel the patient and family with regards to hospice or hospice-type care. Unfortunately, there often comes a point when further treatment is futile, and the only concern that can be addressed is the need to make the patient as comfortable as possible. Whatever her case may be, failing to return calls and leaving her "in the dark" is NOT the proper way to handle your mother's situation!
hi colleen how awful for your mum and you all, i would be exactly the same as you, and keep phoning them until they take note, they cant leave your poor mum like this, keep nagging at them, if they dont listen then go over and see them, i will be thinking of you all, please keep us posted as to how you get on, hugs to you and your mum x
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