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Loving a angry child Group

I am starting this group to find others like me... I am a mother of 2 beautiful boys. My first born child is a smart boy, everyone loves him... He is great with animals, he loves art, and legos. He is great, until he becomes upset. His violent/angry behavior started at 4 1/2. I have tried so many things... I have made mistakes, regrouped, tried new things... My husband pointed out to me the other day "It is sad that a good day to you is one in which your child has not hit you". I would like to hear stories; success, struggles, suggestions... Very few people have ever seen this side of him. Two different women whom I spent time in my home with. I rarely let people visit because of fear of his behavior. He has now struck one of my friends-- His teachers never believe he is capable of such behavior. His grandparents know him to be difficult but not violent. He has started getting very rough with his brother, though his rages are generally directed at me. I live on my own with them, except the weekends when my husband comes home. It makes for a lonely existance. I am working on a degree in human services, to go on to Child Psychology (pretty sure). I just wish I could understand more of what is happening in my own home. I'd like to talk to more people like me- (I realize I should have wrote "an angry child" but cannot fix it now... )
Have you found any solutions? My 5 year old boy is under drs care and takes meds for bi polar, occd, hyperactivity,and moderate autism, ...
You sound like your in a very similar situation to mine and I would love to know if you have found any methods of calming your son down? ...
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