I realize that your post is several years old, however I can't help commenting on your vicious rant.
Let's start with your obvious confusion that the parents and doctors consider your granddaughter "challenging" when she is simply smart, which you don't think they see. ADHD children are not assumed to be stupid necessarily; intelligence and ADHD do not go hand in hand nor are they mutually exclusive of one another. Each child is different. One without ADHD might be a genius and one with ADHD might not be. The challenging part comes from issues like inability to focus (which WILL impact education), increased impulsivity and lower safety awareness, increased risky behaviors, tendency to become easily and extremely irritable, increased negative peer interactions, etc. They are not medicating a child because she makes them all feel stupid. There are other behaviors that they are trying to resolve.
I also have considerable concern about your desire to "CHOKE" the teacher based on your interpretation of her actions during this time and the fact that you are looking to "take the teacher down". Taker her down? Physically or professionally? Because she completed a universally accepted diagnostic tool? What is wrong with you?? Additionally, teachers are not qualified, unless they also possess degrees in either Medicine or Psychiatry to diagnose any one. I am also confused because on one hand you complain about a teacher "evaluating" her but then complain because a teacher did NOT test her. Also, the written test that you are so dismissive of is likely The Connors Scale, which is an accepted diagnostic tool used nationally to diagnose or rule out ADHD/ADD. The child's doctor has the parents as well as the teacher complete these independently and then compares the information to determine who is seeing what behaviors and what those results indicate. Do you think that there is some other testing available to determine/rule out ADHD? There is no blood test, acceptable brain scan, etc at this time. Behaviors are recorded and analyzed by a professional.
You also make a bizarre statement that they took the child to a doctor they KNEW (like that is some type of red flag and an abomination). Most parents KNOW the doctor they take their children to; it is also a benefit for the doctor to actually know the child to help determine if the behavior is new or causally related to outside events. I am not sure why you are trying to imply that this is somehow an abusive or insane act on behalf of her parents. The fact that they walked out with medication may very well be directly related to the results and interpretation of the Connors Scale, of which you have no knowledge.
As a side note, it is none of your business if the 4 year old still uses a pacifier. It is also none of your business if the parents, doctor (of their choosing) and teachers all agree on a diagnosis and course of treatment for this child. You state that you are her primary caretaker. I will assume that you mean babysitter because if you were legally her caretaker/guardian then you would have been included in these conversations and decisions. The fact that you do not agree with the parenting methods or medical interventions does not mean that they are wrong. One of the problems with ADHD children is that unfortunately the first thing tried is not always the thing that works. It is a trial and error situation.
You are unbelievably disrespectful regarding every adult in this child's life, except for yourself. Is there a legitimate concern about this child's health and well being (I assume that based on your vitriolic references to your grandson that you are uninterested in his health and well being)? If yes, then have you reported your concerns to Child Protective Services? Or are you one of those nightmare relatives who calls CPS because you don't agree with the parenting even if it is not remotely abusive in any form, and therefore CPS no longer give any credence to your calls? You are incredibly nasty and derogatory when referring to her parents. I don't know them at all, but my impression of you is that I would not allow you near my children, even if a court ordered it. I hope that you can manage to control your venom in front of this child as it does more harm that I think you are willing to acknowledge. I also think you might find it more difficult than you believe for any court to give you a say in the upbringing of this child. The impression that you give with this one post is one of anger, conflict, disagreement, disrespect, an inability to accept that you MIGHT not be always correct, and an inability to compromise.
I don't know what is wrong with your granddaughter; even with unbiased symptoms listed, I am not a doctor and wouldn't dare diagnose. My guess is that you also not a doctor and therefore unqualified to analyze and interpret symptoms as well. Your son may have a Masters Degree in Social Work, but that also doesn't qualify him to make diagnoses. He may question the treatment plan for this child, and if he has legitimate concerns then he should address them with her parents. He might be able to offer some behavior modification suggestions in a calm, rational way that the parents might be receptive to trying. But, ultimately, this is none of your business and you might wish to seek counseling yourself to correct your overreaching, nasty behavior before these parents decide they have had enough of you and cut you completely out of their children's lives.
Thank you for sharing.
As someone with ADHD who sought out a formal diagnosis in my second year of university (we all knew I had it, but I was fortunate to be able to develop strong coping mechanisms) I want to give you some insight and perspective that many of the parents here may not have.
I also acknowledge that your post was about 10 years ago and much more is known now... Although the same misguided stereotypes and attitudes towards medications are hanging around.
Regarding ADHD... It is a physiological condition that presents symptoms of a behavioural/emotional condition. One of the main issues is that the physical structure of the brain is different in people with ADHD. The ADHD brain has significantly lower numbers of dopamine receptors, which means that it can not utilize as much dopamine produced by the brain as a normal brain would.
Why is this important? Dopamine plays a major role in the regulation of executive functions and is part of the pleasure and reward center of the brain function. It regulates behavior, attention, processing and response to external stimulus. When you complete a task, your brain releases dopamine as a reward. That's why you feel good once you complete a project or task.
Here's the catch, for repetitive tasks, your brain releases lesser amounts over time. That is partly why repetitive tasks become boring. For people with ADHD, they receive less of this reward because they can't process the dopamine in the same amounts as normal brains do...because of the lesser number of receptors. They get bored more easily. They also can't control impulses as easily for the same reason.
You can teach a person with ADHD some strategies to help mitigate their symptoms, thus improving their behavior, but you CANNOT CURE IT. IT DOESN'T GO AWAY, because they will never grow more receptors. You wouldn't expect someone born without a limb to grow a limb when they become teenagers or adults would you?
Medications like Ritalin and Concerta are stimulants that trigger the brain to produce more dopamine over a longer time, bringing the amount of dopamine processed by the brain more inline with what a normal brain would process without medication.
So the medication is not a cure and is a part of a treatment.
HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART... if you've been punishing your ADHD child for their bad behavior, or saying things like I wish you would just try harder to behave, not to mention the discipline (and being singled out at school due to their behavior) it impacts how they view themselves. They know they have to try harder and they do. They try really hard. They know that they are different and often will feel stupid or lazy or crazy, because no matter how much harder they try, that chemical imbalance and its effects on executive function often result in that behavior coming back, even if they controlled it for a short time. They feel that they are failing you and themselves. They feel they must be dumber than the other kids. Their behavior affects their relationships with friends, family, how teachers perceive them. It's potentially all encompassing.
You can do a lot of things to mitigate the symptoms, like diet, exercise, etc but it won't change their physiology.
Many parents on this thread say that it was a last resort and there was immediately improvement, but then stopped working... Did you bring your child for counselling once on medication? Did that counsellor work with your child to help them understand that they weren't a failure because of their brain chemistry and try to undo the psychological harm to their esteem and learned belief of lack of self worth? Even someone with a normal brain (physiologically) that is told they are bad kids, or are continually punished internalize this and has issues of depression, self esteem, etc.
So, when diagnosed properly, which should be the goals of a parent when their is an issue, it provides a framework to understand how to properly understand why they are acting a certain way.
Medication will hopefully (once the right medication and dose is found) give them the bandwidth to then work on those emotional behavior plans, strategies, etc.
Also, it's important to note that kids with ADHD often build up a tolerance to punishment. In actuality, they may act out further so that they get more attention from a parent, who is at their wits end due to all the things they've tried to help their child. The anger and frustration and resentment, let alone sadness and fear I have read from so many of you makes me really feel for you.but imagine how that negativity in the house must make that child feel. They pick up on it. They internalize it. They know they are the cause of it... But it's not their fault.
Do them a favor and find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Make sure that they are up to date on the latest research (and I mean real research with studies that have large sample groups). Doctors aren't necessarily up to date on all aspects of all medicine. You wouldn't want a general practitioner treating you for cancer right? You'd go to a specialist. Do the same for your child... They deserve it.
First, thank you for posting. Your story is all to common. I have been a teacher since 1970. I/we did not have any workshops, etc on ADHD until the mid 80's. And ADD really never came up. It was always the hyperactive boys who got noticed. Girls with ADD were completely off the radar. And I would say that lasted well into the early 2000's and probably still is going on today. You really can't blame your parents - it just wasn't information that was out there back then.
Your comments on how to help your kids are right on target. Thank you for contributing. And, by the way, there is a pretty good adult ADD site, you might want to check out. You will find lots of people who have traveled the same journey. The site is: http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors
This is a pretty old thread, but it still gets comments, which shows you how much people are divided on the subject of medicating children. I can understand both sides, but my perspective comes as a 44 year old woman who literally just figured out that I have suffered from ADHD all my life.
I wish my parents had known about my ADHD and medicated me! Then I could have been able to build some self esteem through socializing normally (not as many traumatizing failures in friendships and romantic relationships), as well as succeeding at a career at an earlier age!!!!
I have a RIGHT to earn an income! I have a right to be accepted by my peers and to socialize! I have a right to fall in love and be happy in a relationship!!!!! I have a RIGHT to enjoy my life and be comfortable in my own skin!!!! NO, I could not do any of these things with any degree of comfort or success due to my constricting ADHD symptoms!!!!
I am a grown and middle aged DAUGHTER who was never treated or given a decent evaluation in school, despite me falling into a pattern of LOW GRADES and hanging out with bad kids and smoking and doing drugs and drinking, all under the age of 18.
It's amazing to me that NOBODY took the time to give me a fair evaluation to determine if I had a learning disability even, although I wish I had a complete psychiatric evaluation at a young age.
Your children are PEOPLE, and not just your PETS. They deserve an intervention and medical HELP if they are to be able to develop and grow as young people, more on track. You owe it to your children to HELP THEM!!!! If you feel you don't want to help your children to get a good evaluation and to receive medical intervention (aka medication) as well as a TOTAL environment adjustment to make your house less cluttered and more friendly to a person with ADHD... then you are actually preferring to allow your child to exist in confusion about how to socialize, how to bond and make friends, which then turns into skills in how to get along with people in the workplace!!!!!!!!!!! Think about it! Don't you want your child to learn how to get along with neuro-typicals? How will your child ever learn to do this if you allow your child to exist in the confusion of having a poor executive function, which also makes them feel a sense of confusion about SELF IDENTITY in relation to their activities and work. You then get people who are disconnected from others socially, are forever OUT-GROUPED at work, and struggle in marital difficulties and child rearing later.
You may want to also consider that if your child received an ADHD diagnosis, you could very well be a woman with an invisible ADHD because you overcompensate as many women do, trying to appear perfect and normal when you yourself are actually NOT normal in a neurochemical way.
I wish people would just think about all this, when considering how to approach how much help they will give their children. You must totally transform your home, to reduce clutter and to hang signs all around to remind the child of things to do, when to do them, how to do them, etc. I wonder how many parents even do that! And if they do, why not add medication so that the child can start to learn to implement these "compensatory strategies" themselves more??? Then the child can also learn more, retaining more in memory, and being able to learn more about self-care and how to socialize too!!!!
I have seen so much recently of exactly this there are many posts here where Parents cannot deal with the Problems of child Behavior and go to have a label put on their child and give them Powerful mind altering Drugs,Thank you for putting this up there it took courage, wean your child slowly from this stuff with a lot of care and attention she will be fine ,at least you have realised what has been happening so it can only get better.A lot of the "problems' parents encounter are from their own lacking Parenting skills, a lot of the Behaviors can be changed and Managed,it is unfortunate that the schools are allowing Teachers to diagnose ADD and AHD and actually tell the Parents their children should be on Drugs with dreadful side effects .Let us know how she is doing you arre caring enough to see this there are sites out there that will shock you as to the Enormity of this problem going on.
The medicines will work for the first couple months or they will experience worse behavior. There is a no child left behind act if your child is diagnosed they can be classified and have an IEP or individualized education plan that can hrlp them thrive. The medicines are ridiculously expensive and just dont cure anything, its a bandaid. Finally after 6 years im taking my son off medicine and feel great about it. They will have withdrawl symptoms which can be difficult, but if you explain to them what is going on (brain is going back to natural state) they can be assured a little more. Sleepytime tea is really good for relaxing and lemon drops with fish oil is also good. Dont forget to hug your children .Ive been through alot calling the police because the medicine caused my son to go crazy and not himself, fudge that. Now he still has a smart mouth and alot of energy but he isnt trying to hurt my bf.
How did things work out for your daughter. My son has the same issues. He is now on his 4th drug and I hate them all. I don't want him on meds as I don't trust their safety and my son has terrible side effects. This latest try I only agreed to so the doc at the day clinic he now attends could see how terribly he behaves on them. She told me tray however that they were really pleased with the success??!! I was with him for 2 1/2 hours for a hearing test. I came out crying because my son was like a zombie. His eyes were too big. He was sweating. He was so tired he just lay on a seat when not asked to do something for the hearing test. He spoke do. quietly I could understand him. He then turned to me st one point and asked if I noticed how concentrated he is. I was shocked to the core. He resembled a drugged ir drunk or someone who had hadn't been allowed to sleep. At night he is wide awake and can't sleep. He wakes with stomach pain. I am more worried about him than ever. I want my happy little boy back, but the school system only wants the zombie version. Homeschooling is illegal where we live. What can I do?
My daughter is ADHD,OCD,ODD,she has anxiety, depression and she hears voices telling her to kill me her father and her little brother. She is taking meds for her ADHD and to help her sleep at night. I use to refuse to give her medication for anything other then a cold. I understand where everyone is coming from but in the same point every person is different and I'm sorry but my daughter my not be perfect in other ppls eyes but she is a straight a student. She loves going to school and has actually told me she wants to go to school even on the weekends and holidays. Yes we still have behavior issues with her but not as much as when she don't take her medication in the morning and afternoon. My mom sells some kind of vitamins that are all natural and are suppose to help with ADHD but for my child it don't seem to work. My mom tried it this past summer and my daughter had more problems without her medication that it doesn't really pay for her to go off of it. Well my mom was giving these vitamins to my ten year old daughter. She tried to take her own life and her little brother's. So I guess I'm conflicted about taking her off of them again because I really don't wanna loose my children at such young ages. We have woken up to our daughter standing in our room watching us sleep with a knife in her hand more then once. I just wish that they would take her off of Ritalin and try something else but it is working at the moment.
Aderals to slow thinking down and make clear. Build self esteem up and work with self control. This will be needed for life. Not the meds tho, see them as a assistant in the beginning. Better communication will led into the winging of med if needed. We all know the power of trust and love. The power of fear needs to be tackled
When I was a lil girl I had the same exact issues. Plus I wet the bed and had panic disorder. I was physically abused as well. I didn't take any meds. My sister did not have my problems. School was hard. I started taking aderals and only aderals in high school. I read my first book, took tests better. Also started treating others better. It cleared my mind. Low self esteem will cause a lot of strange behaviors. Building it back up is harder. Self control as well.
i just read the OP and it's all nonsense. medicating a pleasant 5 year old child is nuts. zoloft is not ADHD med.
The problem was not the teachers, but the doctor who did not follow the clinical guidelines for adhd. My guess is he also gave the meds with no advice on how to tell if it was effective or even dealing with this " adhd".
If you need any more info please ask. Best wishes.
Both my sons were diagnosed with ADHD by their teachers. The doctors said they didnt have it and the teachers sent us back and said tell the doctor I said he is "running like a motor"
And that same day we left with prescriptions for drugs.
YES they sure are Diagnosing
Thanks for your post. It is so important to hear from people who are dealing with or coping with ADHD. Please keep posting and stay in touch. And certainly let me know if you ever have any questions about dealing with ADHD. I know of several sites that deal more with adults and their problems, which can be quite helpful!
Thank you so much for saying this. I am someone who has ADHD and although I agree we can sometimes be a handful, most people don't truly consider how we must be feeling. We feel dumb in school because it takes us longer to do the work than the other kids, at home we feel like such disappointments to our parents, and I for one sometimes feel left out with my friends because I'm so scared of blurting out the wrong thing that I just don't say anything at all.
I'm sorry if this offends anyone, however, I am an actually person with ADHD and trust me the medications help. I'm not saying you should be totally dependent on them, but if it weren't for my medication, I wouldn't have done my homework in high school not here in college, I wouldn't have put in the extra time and effort to train to become 1st singles on my tennis team, and, again if this offends you, but unless your the one you needs the extra help, please don't complain. It is hard enough without someone, even if not intentionally, saying that we make the lives of others harder. Also for ADHD you cant just rely on the medication to do everything!
Thank you for your post. I have a 10 yr old that has ADD,ADHD, ODD, torrets, and is dis graphic or so I have been told. She has seen 2 specialist. She has been on Concerta now for about a year. First few months it done her great with everything. Now it seems like she is not doing very well in school anymore, focus attention is not the best, and is mad all the time and takes it out on me. So with trying everything from diets to structure I am at my wits end. She is such a loveable child I really can't stand seeing her go through this. So I am going to really look in to this Tenex...I hope it works thank you
angelinmarina, you should note that diet is often found to have a lot to do with these matters. To dismiss this based on your own experiences and biases is not a contribution to this discussion. People here seem interested in ideas beyond what doctors are often too quick to diagnose as a mental disease requiring drugs while their young brains are still developing. Sure, it would be hard to feed your family differently, but some people would try that first before accepting a ADD (or bipolar) diagnosis. At a minimum, doesn't it seem reasonable to try diet and other potential environmental changes before resorting to drugs as the first course of action? Of course it is.
I think schools and teachers are in such an excellent position to help families understand when their child's behavior isn't within normal limits. It was a teacher that directed us to my own son's delays that I wasn't fully aware of as he was my first child and it is hard to be objective about your own children. I'm forever grateful to that teacher!! We've written her a thank you letter for it was she who started us on the journey of helping our son with the things HE wanted to do. (One, was to simply fit in with his peers).
Teachers are in a unique position to look at groups of children and see where there is a consistent pattern of struggle. So wonderful to start intervention for these kids so that they can be successful. Tweaks here and there can make a HUGE difference.
I feel for parents that face the choice of medication or not. I personally know so many kids that thrive and are genuinely happier once their families started medication for their medical diagnosis of add/adhd--- that I think it is a great thing to do when the situation warrents it. Never would I enter into that lightly and would have all the facts first. But I also wouldn't ever let fear or shame stop me from doing what is in the best interest of my child.
Parents who read this, please know that intervention and accepting the issus my child had helped us help him. luck to all
The fact is that the school can make its own preliminary evaluation and can pressure the parent to have the child evaluated by a professional. The less educated (but far from stupid) parents are in fear of this interference and don't know how to protect themselves. They know their rights but are afraid that exercising them will result in serious problems. Rational or not, they fear charges of neglect. I know this for a fact because some have come to me for help.
I never meant to suggest that the school can authorize medication or therapy. But once directed to professionals the child may be subjected to over-doctoring and over-medicating. We are back to the subject of wisdom. Not all professionals are wise. And some are greedy.
Not sure if you are aware that in October 2011, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released new clinical practice guidelines for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of ADHD. It can be found here http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/suppl/2011/10/11/peds.2011-2654.DC1/zpe611117822p.pdf
And a recap in more easy to understand terms is here -http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/759086?src=nl_topic
The point is that nowhere do schools get to diagnosis kids. Yes, they can (and usually are) involved in the assessment by the psyc. And many times (or most of the time) they are the ones that recommend the parents seek more help. But diagnosis and medication can only be done by a doctor. And even then, parents always have the ultimate decision to make.
But yes, you are correct in that schools are a conduct (if that term is used correctly?) to medical treatment. But since a child must have the symptoms in two or more places to be diagnosed by the doctor, they kind of have to be involved by default.
I agree with you. However, I do not think the school should be allowed to involve itself in a speciality it is not trained for. An uninformed parent might well look up to the school as having a competence it does not possess.
That is not to say that there are not wise and caring teachers who offer excellent advice to a parent on a one-to-one basis. It is that involvement that has always been valuable and more than welcome. The difficulty lies in the school now acting as a conduit to medical treatment, and this is becoming institutionalized. It can be damaging and I suspect accounts in part for over-diagnosis.
Not at all! But its been my experience that some/many parents let the school system take over their function.
Also, in thinking about my last post to you. I should have added that the "wise" parent seldom posts on this web site. The wise parent has done their homework and usually does not need the help we offer. Hence the typical poster is posting because they lack the information to make good decisions.
I don't understand. Are you suggesting that the school system is primary in the upbringing of a child?