I need some help with my Adderall(adderrall) meds

Hi, I'm Tommy. I'm a 22 year old college student here in SoCal.
My psychiatrist. Currently change my prescription to Adderal after being on Straterra for about a year. I have some questions and concerns about Adderal and wonder if y'all could help me.

I started taking the Adderal the day before Halloween this past year(2007). I was currently on Straterra for about a year and half. I was actually diagnosed with ADHD and some type of anxiety disorder. When I was attending the city college before a transfered to the 4 yr university I'm at now, a teacher noticed something and sent me to disabilities, got me tested and all that. So he was the one that actually helped me out.

So my psychiatrist put me on the Straterra for about a year and half and now I have been on the Adderal since this past Oct. 30 2007. I was doing bad in school since the Straterra made me made me droggy and sometimes even depressed. It was also hard to focus because my mind would wonder off and it would be hard to get back on track. So I told my doctor what was going on and he changed me to the Adderal.

I'm currently on 10 mg of Adderal but actually 20mg since I take 2 pills a day.
I must also tell you that I'm a high school and college basketball official in addition to be a full time student. My season started Nov 3, which was a Friday. I took my 20 mg of Adderal in the morning when i went to school, before having officiated my game at 7:30pm that night. I wanted to experiment with the Adderal since it was helping focus in school and want to see if it would help me in the game. So i took one 10 mg before the game. I noticed during the game I was more focused and felt that I have done a lot better than when I was on the Straterra. I was alert, and I wasn't distracted. So it helped me during the game. I worked again on Nov 8 and 10th taking again a pill before my game and have gotten the same result. The only thing I noticed was that I took the one 10 mg with a redbull on Nov. 8th and felt good but then kind of tailed off and made some positioning mistakes in the game. Stuff that i haven't done wrong since I was a new college official 3 yrs ago. I know it was the redbull that made me tail off because of the caffeine. But after it wared off, the Adderal kicked in and I was back to normal. I always had some sort of energy drink before my game. My next game on Nov. 10 I took another 10 mg also took the 20mg in the morning. This time when I took the 10mg I took it with water and had some Gatorade. I felt the same like I did on Nov 3. when I took it with out the energy drink. So I have now stopped taking redbull or enery drinks before the game. I feel that the Adderal helps me officiate better. So now before every game I want to take it. My next game is this Tuesday Night and I will be popping in another pill.
Since being on the Adderal, I noticed it starting to working right away, since I was being distracted in class and now I was able to focus better. I felt my attention was on the teacher and what he and she was saying. I noticed I also was asking for help in school from my teachers. Going to office hours and asking them questions when I was there. I wasn't embarrassed or shy, like I have been ever since I was small. It also has helped me officiate as i stated above.
When I first took the Adderal, I experienced head aches but now they have went away. I also noticed that I was ticking a lot more, which hasn't really gone way. Also I was having trouble sleeping and hearing voices sometimes. That has now gotten somewhat better. I haven't really been that hungry, but when I am hungry I will eat. I would say my appetite has decreased, but not to a point where I'm not eating at all. I have lost weight, because my referee pants now feel a little big. I would wear compression shorts, and basketball shorts under the pants to keep my shirt tucked in and pants up, but now even with the shorts my pants feel a little big still. I have also experience dry mouth as well. I think I may be addicted to it as well. Taking 30 mg on game days working about 50 plus game this season from Nov till end of Feb. I have also felt increased stamina from it when taking the 20mg on non game days and 30 on game days. I'm kinda concerned because I feel if i don't take it or miss taking some I will not be able to perform well. I think I need help. Any suggestion or recommendations please let me know. Thanks for reading this.

[genuine203]

Tommy!!!!!!!!!!! Please listen to me.... By the way, I can't believe that I’m actually on one of these discussion sites, I was just looking for solutions to my problem, and hope to stop you before you create one for yourself.  
Chances are if you are reading a critical response to this article by tommy, you are aware of what this drug is capable of, cause if you are addicted. u wouldn't be reading it.  Regardless of the fact that I am anonymous, I want you to listen because I hope to save people from this terrible addiction one day; I hope to save lots of people.  It’s such an unintentional addiction for the people that start taking it , and these people are the naive sweet and innocent, who are made to believe by society that we need to transform our lives to live up to a certain social standards, or ideals.  These are also the people that are being suckered into the addiction by our nation’s ******* government’s lack of drug regulation.  Certain doctor’s have corrupted their ability to utilize their educations in a way to harm people, and people need to take it upon themselves to do what you did Tommy.  EDUCATE YOURSELF, and ask questions before you believe that people’s claim is ultimately the truth.  With enough information you can determine what’s right for you.  The only reason I am here taking the time out is to inform those that if they are addicted they aren’t alone, and if you’re not, which I’m sure you are if you are on it for more than a month, to get the hell off!!
I am a 23 year old woman.  When I was a child, I was tested over and beyond my intelligence range in comparison to the children my same age bracket, in turn, had a physiological chemical off -balance.  I was diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, ABC, DEF, you name it!!!  I had it.   My mother wasn't for putting me on medications; she was afraid of the damage it would place on my liver.   I was extremely young when I was diagnosed by the way.  Growing up I was an amazing athlete with lots of drive, I played soccer, in addition to always party with my friends.  I was also a great student; I practiced cognitive behavioral therapy, at the University of Pennsylvania, which promoted a Holistic approach of looking at typical disorders that children are labeled with.  The majority of what they did for me focused on correcting problems that coincide physiologically and physically as opposed to taking a pill.
About 2 1/2 years ago, I started taking Adderral XR 10 mg twice a day; I am currently taking 30 mg of Adderral XR 2 times a day. XR stands for Extended Release.   Sometimes, if I have that paper that I have been putting off due tomorrow, I’ll pop an extra.  But recently whether it’s a paper,  late night of drinking, extra computer time, , I’ll take one before bed and 2 the next day, note that is 150 mg in my body on occasion…”Where is my doctor in this picture?” you ask.  Right, the one responsible for monitoring me, making sure that I am ok with the side effects and such, picture this.  
I am currently a Business major, in school still, finishing up in may/June. I have now been prescribed 60 mg of adderral XR a day for the past 2 years. Maybe I’m in denial, or maybe I don’t know, but I have never been addicted to anything in my life, not drugs, not cigarettes, and now I’m stuck on both.  
When I hit college I had just started seeing this new doctor.  He was funny and energetic (probably b/c he was prescribing himself a thing or two) Well, naturally I liked him.  He made me trust him.  He started me off on Straterra , to correct my never dissolving issue of ADHD.  I personally knew nothing would work, except me working on myself. According to everyone else, nothing had worked, as I’m sure he was already aware of, oh yeah, did I mention I didn’t and still don’t have health insurance, and he was charging a college kid almost a hundred dollars a visit, so that he could do “follow ups”,?  **** ups is what he should have called all of those visits.  
Next, came the big BANG!!!!!!!!!!  This was essentially the biggest downfall of my life.  I am emotionally mentally and physically crippled because of this man.    He wound up hooking me into this addiction, made tons of money off of the college girl for himself and the Pharmacy industry of good ol’ America.  I had to work an extra job in college just to pay for all the meds, and in the moment, thought truthfully that I needed it to make me better, but by the time I realized what it was doing to me, I was so sucked in that I didn’t have time to think or worry about what to do to make me better.  “Where is he now”?  You ask?  
He began cancelling apts. To the point that I would have to just show up there, and the drive to his office, is in my hometown, 2 hours away.  I never knew how crazy it was to have to drive all the way to his office to get him, because I never stepped outside of myself, or outside of my box, self centered is what I am, but not in a selfish non giving way, in a way that I worry so much about myself.  This drug has created so many added problems with my disorder and with me that I absolutely cannot move out of bed without it.  You have no idea what withdraw from this drug is like.  I feel like a crack head, and yet I never asked for any of this.  I have never  voluntarily took this to get messed up, because I don’t have an addictive personality, but when a doctor prescribes you meds at 20 years old, you want to believe what he is giving you is legitimate.
This has been a growing issue in everywhere in my life.  I don’t have the same feelings I did before this drug.  I find it really hard to be happy.  I used to always smile, and laugh, my last episodes of this behavior where before this drug came into my life.  I have no interest in sex, boys, and by the way, I am good looking, I can say that, because trust me, it’s not a feeling of satisfaction, in fact, I have boys throw themselves at me, and don’t care, nor want to associate with them.
I think of suicide a lot, I mean at least like twice a day, the only reason I don’t do it is because I think of what it would do to the people I matter to.  I mean the real people like my mom, my family, my friends, just because I can’t feel doesn’t mean they can’t.  
I am crying while writing this letter right now, but that’s the only emotion that I seem to possess anymore, feelings of fear, worry, failure, and my future.  I don’t care about things women my age are doing, I care about how I’m going to make the most money, have the nicest things, but really I have never been that way.  The drug has made me manic, but subconsciously I know that, so I keep myself in check.  If you don’t want Jeckle and Hyde to argue inside of your brain with you as the middle man in, then stay away from this ****.  
I have to end this by telling you that this doctor refused to take anymore appointments from me.  I felt like I was a drug attic whose drug dealer was running away from them.  He would tell the secretaries in the office to say that he wasn’t there.   I would be in bed for days on end waiting for my mother, who by the way was never aware of the severity of my addiction, nor the existence, to go to his office and pickl the prescriptions up for me, because he made me feel like a lunatic.  I knew I needed the prescription but did not have the knowledge, courage, or dignity to go myself and tell him how I felt.  
I am now with another doctor up at school, who just today told me that my doctor sent him a letter stating that I corrupted the prescription and he had to dismiss me as his patient. (Not in fact the truth) This is the news that I received about a half hour ago.  So, I’m sure this is just another issue I need to deal with.  STAY AWAY ANYONE WHO READS THIS….