My toddler is OUT OF CONTROL

[jannesa]

My two about to be Three year old is OUT OF CONTROL!!! I CANNOT handle him anymore. He rips pages out of books when I try to read to him, he writes on my walls, scrapes my tv screen, stains my carpet purposely, sticks things inside of other things like coins inside of my PS3 and dvd player,bites and fights with his sister, screams and cries until I just give in. I CANNOT control him anymore. I have tried EVERYTHING. I have tried calmly talking to him, spankings, timeouts, and NOTHING has worked. His attention span is limited. For example, I bought him a burrito because thats what he wanted and then he cried his lungs out because he changed his mind and wanted a taco. So I put a taco in front of him and then 1 second later he screamed because he wanted his burrito back. I just don't know what to do anymore.  I have also tried to divert his attention with creative activities but he always manages to turn something fun into something bad.  Despite  all this he is very smart. He can count, sing most of his ABC's and understands spanish. Just the other day, I yelled so much at him that I couldn't stop myself from crying. I cried for so long, I just cant handle him anymore. I need help! Please!

[Sandman2]

  If you go over to the child behavior forum, you will see lots of posts about their "out of control" 3 or 4 year old.  You certainly are not the only one going through this.  Although without a good plan of action, it's highly frustrating.  Basically, you have a very smart child who has learned how to get his way by working you.  I would suggest getting the book,     "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  It will give you a workable, successful system.  
   Till the book arrives, you can scroll through the past posts to members with the same problems in the Child Behavior forum and get lots of good ideas.  Best wishes!

[compnet]

Q: My 3-year-old is very disruptive of other children's play. How do I help her respect other people's personal space and boundaries? Telling her not to do something makes her very angry. Also, she seems to have a lot of anger within.


A: With kids who are disruptive, working on empathy can be very helpful--not telling her what to do, but helping her learn to identify what others are feeling (which can lead to changes in behavior).

It is also good to keep in mind--especially if it runs in the family--that if ADHD shows up at that age, the most common symptoms are the ones you have described. It may be worth an evaluation by her pediatrician.

Alan Greene MD FAAP

[allmymarbles]

When a child has a tantrum and you give in to his demands (because you can't stand it any more) you are actually encouraging him to have tantrums. Don't do this. It will only make him worse.