i scheduled an appointment. Maybe because I realized well.. Actually I got distracted while doing my paper and looked up the number and thought.. Why not? My paper is already late.. haha. sad.
one thing im really wondering about is a problem i have.... I was perscribed to zoloft and ambien... ( and no its not the zoloft that makes me unattentive). and I took the zoloft for 5 months... and still sometimes take the ambien... well... the first 5 months i took zoloft was only because my mom always asked me on a daily basis if i took my pill... kind of how she hounded me to study and do my homework when i was younger. ( i would get punished if I didn't study) Its sad because i often find myself ( i noticed this when i was younger) having to relearn things all the time... and I lack basic social knowledge i dont know why. My friends write me off as Naive sometimes.. and sheltered, but i think its because I don't pay attention to anything. Maybe its also because I dont watch TV. It gets super boring. I also get bored with movies too. I haven't watched TV since 5th grade and even then i was more of a video game player.
anyways, about the zoloft.. after i went to college... ( 5 months later) I took it mayb the first week... and then... i started forgetting to take my pills... I didn't take myself off the meds because they actually made me less stressed and more calm... but i kept forgetting them and if you know zoloft.. then you know that if you miss one day... it takes 2 weeks to rebuild in your system. ... so i would take it the next day.... then forget the next.. then take it another day and told myself i would take it everyday because i needed to remember... and forgot. I even set alarms on my phone and failed to pay attention to them. sometimes i would remember for a week straight but once again i would forget quickly. i decided this was bad for me. and ultimately i took them last summer just because my mom made me. ( i finally confessed i stopped taking them, but she thinks its because i think i didn't need it)
I was too scared to tell my pscyhiatrist.. I told him i have problem paying attention... he said it was because of the zoloft ( but i haven't been taking it for a year) so he lowered my dosage...
as for the insomnia... my mind always tends to be awake.
Im also very spontaneous with words... which is why i like creative writing.. even though i have only finished about 2 short stories out of like 15 ive started. and when im talking creative writing. im talking magical realism.. almost fantasy. I have things ive been working on stillll from middle school. unfinished paintings. half finished books. a ton of yarn for knitting. I do a little bit at a time and then never finish because i get bored.
should i mention these things as well? I just dont know what to say. I put up a post yesterday regarding these symptoms but well... i dont even know how to start and im nervous
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