Hi. My 9-year-old nephew has ADHD and is medicated. On at least 4 occasions, the last being last week, he touched my 6-year-old daughter inappropriately. They were in a tent, he called himself the Stranger, and he spanked my daughter's bottom (not hard). For at least 2 of the swats, he pulled her panties down. His parents say it's a manifestation of his lack of impulse control caused by his ADHD and see it as comparable to his cutting a live wire or climbing a tall tree. I don't agree and I think he's headed down a very dangerous path. Needless to say, my daughter will not be allowed to be alone with him again. I believe he needs counseling specific to the inappropriate touching but they don't agree. I know every case is different, but am I off base here?
I think there are 2 things going on here. He could very well have a lack of control, as his parents say. But usually, children that do what you describe are often repeating something done to them. I think your nephew is currently being or has been molested very recently. Kids will do to others what has been done to them. Please do not be afraid to confront his parents, and ask them to talk to the boy. At 9, kids are still very honest, and I bet you he will tell you someone else did the same thing to him. Please don't make a big deal out of it when the boy is questioned. Try to bring it up very lightly so you don't scare him.
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