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1472248 tn?1292611095

ADD -9 y old child

Yes, I think that my son has ADD. yesterday I read many articles on the web concerning child behavior, I saw the check list and I found he has almost to 9.9 symptoms of inattention, but I do not think he is hyperactive (2/9). I think we should see a neuro pediatrician as advised by Dr. Shamma from medhelp ystday but my husband has another opinion. he dont want to create an additional anxiety to our son he said. he prefers to start by cooperating with his teacher. I think at least we must have recourse to a psychotherapist. I do not beleive that between us and the teacher we can help him. I dont want to loose time. Our son is intelligent, has excellent memory, and he had very good scores (96/100) until last year when he became slow and couldnt finish his tasks at school. I want to act quickly because I dont want him  to loose his self confidnce. we are doing our best to help him but we should not act alone. Please help us to take the right decision. thank you.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   I am glad to hear your pediatrician has a good friend who is a competent psyc.  You really need someone who can look at the whole issue and not piece by piece as I am attempting to do.  It probably wouldn't hurt to print out all of our conversations, just because it might save her a bit of time.
   I still think that age is a bit of a problem.  I do wonder if he is the youngest child in the class?  It wouldn't hurt to find out.   You also never mentioned if he had only one teacher  or several.
   If his problems are only in language, I don't think that ADD is going to be the problem.  ADD is not something that you can turn on and off.  Of course having said that, if he is intelligent, he can pick up math concepts from class.  When he gets into Algebra, it  gets a lot harder.  
  You talked about him having trouble writing long sentences.  If he can say the sentence he can write it.  So when you are helping him, always make sure he says the sentence all the way through first.  Also wonder if they allow printing or are making them do cursive writing.  A lot of boys have trouble with fine motor coordination.  Typically, cursive writing starts in third grade.  If its not practiced, its a real pain to do - especially if the teacher spends more time correcting the cursive instead of the actual idea.  And frankly a lot of boys just don't like to write (well, at least my son didn't).  Sometimes boys (maybe girls) do a lot better on a computer typing the sentences in..  Then printing it out and writing it down.
   The unfinished school tasks - its important to know what area they are in.
    I would guess from your comments that you speak Arabic at home - which is logical if you want him to keep up his abilities.  But it makes it hard on him.  While it is much easier to learn language as a child, it is still difficult.  It requires constant practice, and he is only 9.  He will come out of all this as a bilingual person which is wonderful and a great future asset.  But he is at the age where it is a pain.  
    I think that his study habits need to be worked on a bit. But done intelligently.  He does need a break when he gets home from school.  See if you can find a computer assisted language program that makes it a bit more fun.  The best way to learn vocabulary for some kids is a lot of short drills.  Some words at breakfast - no more then about 3 to 4 minutes worth - use flash cards.  Same thing after his playtime when he gets home from school, and again just before dinner.  Words he knows you don't repeat.
   He is still at an age where you can help him with his homework.  That will start changing about 7th grade.  So help him while you can.  I think the most important thing is to make sure that the teacher immediately lets you know when he has not done something.  Don't wait for a report once a month.
    Most of what I have said is pretty common educational stuff. If he has a teacher who is experienced, they should be able to give you a few more ideas.  Of course, if he has several teachers who are very strict, you may not get much help.
   Finally, if he does have ADD, then the answers change a bit.  All of the strategies I mentioned are good for ADD.  But everything takes a lot longer due to the lack of focusing and its very important to be aware of that.  It might be worth your time to get a book that I recommend a lot.  Its  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.  Its a very good book, and I also have several websites that I could recommend.
   Keep in touch, I am curious to know how all of this will work out.   Best wishes!!!
Helpful - 0
1472248 tn?1292611095
Dear Sir, thank you for your follow-up.
Her are some answers. My son is on CM2 class , he started at this school - french school- his MS (4-5 years old ), GS (2006-2007), CP, CE1, CE2 (2009-2010) and now hi is on CM1 (2010-2011) .The first year at school, PS,  he was in a shcool affiliated to his nursery, where everything is in french also. He dont has any problem with the french language, he is always watching french TV programs, talking all the time with his brother and friends in french, and even with us. On the contrary we have a difficulty to make him use the arabic language and to convince him that he must know it well, because at school he has several foreign friends and no one is speaking arabic there.
when I talked about problem with french it is to told that he often avoids, dislikes or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort, especially in french when he has to write long sentences. We thought first that he react like that because his is slow in writing: he dont has the correct way to hold a pen or pencil since the begining and when we noticed that and tried to help him, we couldnt do a lot, so we stopped trying.

the problems that he experimented last years where the mainly the unfinised schooll tasks that we have noticed when he was bringing back his school notebook at home to be signed by us.

Voila! it's not easy I know. I've just send another email to the Dirctor of Primary classes in his school, he is in charge in our country for the first year. I've asked for his help and also I've called his pediatrician. She is a great women and doctor,She said she has a good friend, a very competent psy, who can help us. she will talk to her and she will take us an appointment.

I hope after all that I'm not going to lose my job or my husband because I am investing myself completely in this  ...

Thank you for caring ...
Helpful - 0
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
  Ah, the troubles of doing stuff on line is that you always gotta do it piece by piece.  
  Thank you for all the new info.  
   Just for the fun of it, ask his teacher(s), how he compares in age to the others in the class?  Might give you a bit more info to work with.
   The language thing is interesting.  If that is the only thing he is having trouble in, I don't think its an ADD problem.  I have taught a number of foreign language speakers. So here are a few more questions.  
   Has he been in this school for all of his 4 years.  In other words, I am curious if the other kids have been working in French for 4 years and he has not.  Which leads to the next question - Did he have problems in the language last year?  I know you said he had some problems, but was it only in French?  What I am really beginning to wonder about is - does he go to a different teacher for French?  If so this could be more of a teacher/student conflict (especially if he had the same teacher last year).  I say all of this because you have said he has a good memory.  A lot of language is memory.  Even if he is "slow" he should be able to handle two or three words a day.  Makes me think he is hating the whole thing (or the hearing thing is still possible).  If none of the above is true then you need to start speaking French with him.  Not a lot, but certainly all of the common words.  Buy French funny videos and have him watch them - no subtitles - and only for perhaps 10 min a day.  If you could get cartoons, that would be great since they are short.  These are all things to explore before you start looking at the special ed route.
   I will be curious to see how you answer the questions about his teacher and when he started learning French.  Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
1472248 tn?1292611095
I have to correct: the "primaire classes" are over 5 years and not 6. We start school at 4 years old.
The school of my son is a foreign school, one of the best in the country. I think they should be able to help us. I hope. I know that in my son class there is a child accompanied by a special education teacher all the time,(hired by the parents)and I have a fridnd who is doing the same for her son -12 yy - So, normally , since the school is dealing and has positive attitude towards kids with special needs, it's a good point.  
Helpful - 0
1472248 tn?1292611095
Thank you Sir for your time. I am really grateful. Please let me add more information. At my son school - french school- they start with 3 years "maternelle", than 6 others are onother grade "primaire". My son now is on the 4th year of the "primaire". Maybe you are right cocerning the birth date and the maturity of the child, but my son problem is not with maths, it is with the french and especially the grammar and vocabulary exercices coz he said that he hates that. I think the problem is that he is slow in written and it takes him to much time to make a copy and eventhough he has very good memory when it concerns "poetry", he cannot memories two or three words whe he is about making vocabulary or grammar tasks so, he is always late and he cannot finish the tasks at school. We've tried to help him in this, and we asked him to try to memories two or three words every time he looks to his book, and to write them all, to avoid looking to his book for each single word. but  he still cannot do that.

In general, he dont has problem in understanding, at least not at home. His father and me are doing our best to help him to acquire "method" and "technique" and when he is working with one of us, i feel that he is enjoying working.

concerning the possible hearing problem i'll take him to an ORL soon, and we will see.
I've asked today for an appointm with his teacher.  I also has sent today an email to his school Management, not in our country but in their mother country asking them if they have a rule/or low similar to what you have in US regarding the help and support that the school and teachers could bring to a children in case they are facing ADD problems. I've ask too if the teachers are able to notice or distinguish between a lasy and an ADD child.... I hope they will reply to email.
In my country, thre is very good doctors but I dont know if we have good specialists that can trully help children with such problems... i really dont know.
Usually in my country, parents dont talk too much when their children are facing problems. So, we cannot benefit from other's experience, unfortunatelly.

what is certain, it's that we will keep searching and asking untill we find someone or a way to help him.
special thanks for your advice concerning the time mangement at home. Today I decided not to let him waist time and I ddint let him play after his lunch. i asked him to rest for 30' only and than to start his homework. I will stop doing this. He is only 9, my boy, u are right...
everything will be ok.
A small personal story that I'de like to share:one day I was worying about many important things, than a good friend remind me that I have to keep faith in who walks with me througout my life.
Thank you again for being there. Be blessed.
I'll keep you updated
Helpful - 0
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
  Thank you for the added information.  I also went back and read your posts to Dr. Sharma which also helped.
  In the US your son would be in 4th grade.  He would have started Kindergarten at 5 and now at 9 he would be in 4th grade.  He would be one of the younger children in 4th grade with a Aug birthday.  In California, we just passed a law that says a child must be 6 by Sept. to start first grade.  So in our system, your son would probably be one of the youngest, if not the youngest in his class.
  The age can be important because the other kids are just more mature.  School starts out pretty easy, and a child with good memory can do well in the first couple of grades.  In third grade, math starts becoming more difficult and in fourth grade even more so.  I say this because part of the problem may be simply age related.  He may be finding it harder to keep up and then gives up.
  Of course, it also is possible he has something like ADD or its possible that he is as you say just "a bit slow" and has trouble catching on to something the first time.  It is important to figure out what is going on because how you treat or work with a child with ADD, or immature, or "a bit slow" or lazy - are different.
   By the way, before I forget.  You mentioned his problems watching tv.  Have you had his hearing checked?  Turning his head is more an indication of a hearing problem than an eye problem.  And a hearing problem can cause a lot of school problems!
  In the US, I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist that specializes in ADHD/ADD.  I don't know what your options are where you live, but I would definitely make sure they specialize in that subject area.
   If you want to do more research in this area.  A site I recommend a lot is
          http://www.healing-arts.org/children/ADHD/#ADD
  It has a lot of good information.  Besides getting more information you certainly want to follow your teachers ideas.  I am pretty sure your son will also need more help at home with his homework.    Helping him will also give you an idea of where he is coming from.  But remember he is only 9!  Be patient.  Break up the activities.  Also make sure when he gets home that he has time to play and exercise.  Don't make him come in and start studying right away.
  I hope some of this helps.  I can't really say from what you have written what his problem is without more information.  It still could be any one of the things I mentioned above.  But I do think it is important to figure out what is going on.  Best wishes!
Helpful - 0
1472248 tn?1292611095
First I would like to thank you all for your support. I am really feeling better knowing that there is someone caring and listening. Thanks to Gina for her advice.(excuse my typing errors- i am french educated). My son is 9y , he was born on aug 2001. He is on CM2/french, I dnt know to which grade it corresponds. He had a seizure on Jan 2008. Doc/neuro pediatrician diagn rolandic benine Ep. , no medication, no more seizure since that date. but since that date i am watching him.
He had no problems at school, his score at the end of 2008 was 96/100 although he start having migrain after his seizure, many days during the week. and he told me one time that while he was abt starting his task/exam, he felt that his brain "was empty"... however, the end of yy result was excellent as usually.
He is my first son and I use to stay with him and help him when he is doing his homeworks, I was proud of him coz he is intelligent, has good memory, quick to learn and understand... he is not hyper, but can get angry easely. Suddenly, last year, we rcv his class block note to be signed as usually and we noticed empty white pages and unacheived tasks.... I was chocked and couldnt beleive my eyes... we met his teacher many times, she said that he dont concentrate all the time and that she feel that he is away.... I talked to a friend - psychoterapist - who is working with children having pblems at school. she saw him and made him make some tests, but she said he's a little bit slow and I dont have to panic.... At the end of the year, he was finishing all his tasks and when I smiled when i saw all those "bravo" from his teacher on his notebook. But here we are again this yy,white pages and unfinished tasks.
Concerning his tonsils, yes, he has big tonsils, but he dont have sleeping or breathing or eating problems.
abt the Dr from medhlep it was Dr Sharma and not Shamma. she gave me the first reply on Oct 12, (I signed up on medhlep on Oct 11). Thank u very much and sorry for this long post.

















Helpful - 0
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
  What Gina says is true for ADHD, and I have read several posts by members of this forum saying the same thing.  However you are talking about ADD which is a whole different case.  If a child is intelligent, the ADD may not show up for several years, because they are able to handle the curriculum.  Usually about 4th grade and fractions, it begins to become apparent.   But here again, it depends on the intelligence of the child.  How old is your son?
  It is important to follow all of the teacher suggestions (if appropriate).  If they don't work, then that is valuable information.  His self confidence is important.  I always felt that one of the best signs I had that one of my students might have ADD/ADHD was their huge sense of frustration.  They knew they were more intelligent than the child next to them, but they always did worse on tests (This was in 5th grade).  
   By the way, I couldn't find any Dr. Shamma listed in medhelp.  What group was he giving advice in?
  Anyway, to give better advice - I would have to know what grade your son is in. How old he is and when his birthday is.  Its always possible that he is intelligent and bored, or immature and over his head.  These things should be explored first.  And yes, if you do go for more medical advice, I would certain recommend going with someone (psychologist or psychiatrist) who specializes in kids and ADHD/ADD.  Best wishes.
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Avatar universal
I know this may sound strange but...
Does your son still have his tonsils and adenoids?  If so, I would recommend an ENT doctor to see if having them removed would be beneficial.

I say this because my three year old was diagnosed with ADHD.  I had heard about parents having success by having their children's tonsils and adenoids out.  The idea is that the child's airway is somewhat blocked, especially while sleeping, and that this can cause sleep apnea, tossing and turning, etc.  The child doesn't get enough RESTFUL sleep because he keeps waking up for a couple seconds and going back to sleep.  The next day, the child is tired and can't focus.  Some of them will be tired but really try to stay awake by bouncing from one thing to another.  Thus the hyperactivity part.  Since my husband has sleep apnea and my son would sometimes snore, I had my son evaluated by an ENT.  She said that it was obvious he was doing a lot of mouth breathing rather than breathing through his nose and that she though taking his adenoids out would help him breath better.  We had his tonsils and adenoids out and the ADHD symptoms greatly improved.

Maybe this would be something your husband would be more open to checking out.  I would also recommend having your son evaluated by a developmental specialist to find out for sure if this is ADD or not.
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