Adderall- ousted father needs to know.

[Moose_Magilla]

Okay... I won't bother with all of my problems, save for one.  My ex-wife doesn't want to deal with my sons'...  shall we say...  being himself.  She wants a drone.  The family doctor is also a family friend, and I no longer trust her judgement.  I'd like to know EXACTLY how my 4-year-old boy with a heart of gold was put on the generic of this drug without SOME form of diagnostic process.  The drug he is on is Metadate.  (As a side-note, I asked her if she even knew what the name of the drug was.  She didn't.)  I suppose the legitimate question, here, is this...  WHAT, EXACTLY, ARE THE GUIDELINES FOR PUTTING A 4-YEAR-OLD ON METADATE?

[Sandman2]

Read moose's first and second post.  It pretty much looks like his ex is the one who is controlling which doctor the child can see.  I am sure he agrees with you about getting a new doctor- doesn't sound like that is possible though.

[allmymarbles]

1. Your doctor is not a specialist. 2. Children of four years are not usually treated for ADD. 3. The prescribed medication is addictive and is an upper. 4. Young children can be a handful and some people can't handle them. If you truly feel that something is amiss with your son, take him to a doctor more qualified than the one you are using.

[Sandman2]

I hear you Moose,
  And it is very frustrating.  The thing that will help your son the most is if your wife understands what ADHD is and how to work with kids who have it.  You might try going through the family doctor to see if the doctor might recommend some counseling for the child and thus the mom.  Just tell the doctor that you are not sure that your wife understands what ADHD is and you are worried that she looks at the medication as the complete answer.  If nothing else it might open up a good dialogue between you and the doctor.
  The classic book on ADHD is   "Driven to Distraction" by Hallowell.  Try giving it to your ex for Xmas (after you have read it).  Heck give it to all of the grandparents - maybe one of them will get the clue .  Which brings me back to my original point -  don't punish the kid (and this is directed at all involved - including the doctor) because you and your ex can't/won't communicate.  If he has ADHD bad enough to be medicated at 4 (and he may not, but that's besides the point now), it is something that has to be dealt for all of his school career.  And that takes information.  I can recommend several more books if you are interested.  Good Luck ! ! !

[Moose_Magilla]

Thank you for the insight.  REALLY.  There are a great deal of items that I didn't mention.  She is lazy.  She just doesn't want to deal with the problems that he is having.  She didn't even know the name of the medication she had him on, or, for that matter, the side-effects of said medication.  I agree with all of your points, so don't take me wrong, please.  It is just frustrating to be powerless when it comes to watching your only reason for being fades away because 'she' has some kind of vendetta against me.  Thank you for the info.

[Sandman2]

   I don't really think that there are any real guidelines.  It depends on the doctor, the patient, and the parent.  All cases are different.  Having said that - usually 4 is regarded as a bit young to put on medication.  Typically, it doesn't happen till school time.  However, if the behavior of the child is seriously affecting the normal family life, than it is done earlier.  
  A good question might be what does the doctor specialize in.  A general MD does not have the experience that a psychiatrist does.  However,  a family doctor does have a lot of insights into the family dynamics, and has probably been watching (or hearing about) the child for years.
  My guess is that your ex is overwhelmed with the responsibilities of the daily activities of your son and her own life.  It happens a  lot.
  Two other points - hopefully, all other kids with ADHD have a heart of gold.  The condition doesn't affect how they feel.  Well, at least not till later in life when they get tired of constantly being the bad guy, give up, and start self medicating - if they don't get the proper help (which doesn't always have to be meds)
  Second - if the medication is given correctly, he will NOT become a drone.  He will be able to control his actions better.  If he does become a drone, than he is over medicated and the doctor needs to be informed.
   Long story short - your ex (and perhaps you) need to become very educated about ADHD, what it is and what it does.  While the meds may seem like a magic pill (if they work) - they aren't.  It takes a lot of effort to help the child become all that he can be.  It may well take medication, but it will also take education, time, consistency, and love.
Good Luck!