Ive always suffered from minor breakouts in highschool, although it seemed as though i was the only one who ever had a pimple. Years passed just like that, always having a mild breakout of maybe 5 pimples during "rag-time". Then about 3 years ago I went to school for esthetics, where i learned the ins and outs of acne care, and treatment... i was the one who helped people with their acne and skin conditions. Half way threw school it started... everyday i woke up with 5 more pimples... i had pimples on top of pimples, on top of pimples. Being in school, I had everyone on my side trying to help me, every cream and face wash available, microdermabrasion, laser treatments, chemical peels, the works... NOTHING worked. I finally finished school, and got the dream job working at a cosmetic surgeons office as a medical esthetician... 6 months later i quit, and never went back to doing what i went to school for. My skin appearance was unproffesional, i lost clients, and how could i tell someone how to take care of their skin, when mine looked like this? Then a few months after that, i woke up one morning to flawless skin. There was no reason for it, i didnt change my diet (which by the way is extremely healthy and full of vitamins), i didnt change my face wash or anything... it was un explainable. I remained almost 6 months with perfect flawless skin, not one breakout, my scars were diminishing, my confidence was back, my marriage was fantastic, i even went a couple weeks without wearing makeup which was my DREAM!!
as quickly as it went away, is as quickly as it came back... woke up one morning with my jawline covered again, and since than, i have not gone one day without as many as 20-30 cystic sore and painful pimples under my skin for over 8 months. my social life is obsolete, i refuse to leave my house, i refuse to work at times, ive gained over 30 lbs due to lack of esteem, i refuse to let my husband look at me, and therefore has led to martial problems because it has made me a very resentful person. I want to never have to wear makeup again, but i cant leave the house without a mound of makeup on not only to cover the acne but to cover up the extreme purple and red scarring its left behind. I want to think that there are other people like me out there, but i never see them. I hate people pointing out a new pimple, or talking to someone and knowing they are looking at my acne and not at me, or staring at my caked on makeup, and im sure every person with acne has been told on many occassions "have you tried proactive?" i hate looking in the mirror... knowing that years ago i used to be a proffesional model/actress, and seeing whats become of me. i need help, before it completely ruins my life. what in gods name do i do?!