Please pray...

I am very happy to see a support group for these kind of problems and "real" solutions... I have been struggling with severe degenerative disc disease on and off for the past 10 years; been extremely bad the last two. Had a battle with Percocet addiction about 7 years ago, and got through that as well as rid of symptoms. The last two years, symptoms have been worst pain of my life... tried every treatment under the sun and just now getting in for surger(y-ies). In the meantime, they've all been very generous with the pain pills to help with the pain. It started with Vicodin 5/500, ES 7.5/500, then HP 10/660... then graduated up to Percocet 5/325 and Oxycodone 5mg with 50mcg Fentanyl patches. I was switched to narcotics without acetaminophen, because when I actually counted I was up to about 12-14 pills a day. (And horrified, ashamed, embarrassed, etc..) Doctor was really concerned with liver damage, addiction, tolerance, etc... I had microscopic surgery on 10/24/2011 and it didn't work; actually made things 100x worse... Now I am scheduled for surgery next Tuesday (1/31/2012) for a full blown, three level, anterior discectomy and fusion. As goes with these things, I'm sure I'll be receiving much stronger pain meds to compensate for my little tolerance and help manage the pain. I am so scared of where this will go and how bad the fall is going to be when I need to get off all of this stuff. I know I have a problem and a little "habit", but it has all been due to excruciating pain!!! You do what you have to in order to just be able to function and get out of pain, but everyone (including doctors) makes you feel like a worthless junky just trying to get a "fix". I don't want to live this way and I want to be completely off of this medicine once I am healed and better from this horrific condition... I just really need help trusting that HE will take care of me, trusting in HIS strength to get me through this, and having enough faith that there will be life after all this is said and done. The depression and anxiety has been unbearable... the worst part is that I'm only 26. I shouldn't be in this position... please help with any stories of hope and encouragement! Just a simple thought or prayer would mean the absolute world to me.

Thank you all - in love, Val

[drifter0213]

i'll say a prayer for you Val ggod luck on your next surgery i hope you recover quickly !   :)