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I have more then just anger issues , I'm losing my wife ( she's cheating ) , I'm in debt , my son like me has ADD and anxiety , and sometimes I wonder if I have a touch of Bi-polar,  among other things . I'm having a hard time keeping my anger in check through all of this , and it's making things uncomfortable ... my wife has to stay here , because of housing situation , and I'm the only one working , so It's kinda tough . We are a pretty open type when it comes to these things , and she lets me know when she's going by him , and stays overnight . I couldn't stand it anymore and snooped in her facebook acct , and found out who it was and sent him a message saying I was gonna get his f@g @ss . I did send a message later asking him " how would you feel , 18yrs gone down the toilet , and then proceded to say " at least you two could not rub it in my face ! I don't know what to do know , I think the only reason I have not shot myself is because of my kids.
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Avatar_f_tn
You are certainly going through a rough time and have a lot to deal with, but taking your life is not the answer to this, It will only leave devestation in your path, you have said you wont do it because of your kids which is good, you need to remember that because no child should have to live their lives losing their parent to such a selfish act.
You say that you and your wife are open when it comes to affairs but it sounds like you are not open to it at all and it is making you very unhappy. 18 years is a long time together and if you want to hold onto your wife you must tell her how you feel about the affair. If she is not willing to end it then you need to somehow get out of there, you say you are in debt so getting your own place right now might not be possible but is there anyone you can stay with? You must distance yourself from this situation and sort your thoughts in peace. You say you have anger issues, ADD and anxiety, are you willing to seek help for this, if so see your doctor and discuss it. When things are not going well in life your anger, anxiety and ADD will just become worse. you need help with this and prehaps then you will find it a little easier to deal with lifes issues. I wish you luck and stay strong for the children and get help for your sake and theirs.
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow....you're dealing with so much!  Anyone would be angry over this but you need to try to think more clearly.  First of all...never leave threatening messages or texts, the police can arrest you for this.  As for the housing situation...why is your wife still living with you?  Let the guy she's having the affair with take care of her! You need to blame your wife every bit as much as the other man.  If she truly loved you, this wouldn't be happening.  It does appear that they are rubbing it in your face but that's because you allow them to.  You work and provide for your wife, have more respect for yourself and children and tell her to make a decision...that you are no longer going to tolerate her cheating on you.  You and your children deserve better than this.  Your children need you, and you don't want to do anything that leaves then solely in the care of their mother because she's not living up to her end of the deal being their mother.  I know it's hard and it hurts, but it's time for you to put your foot down and take control of your life and not give away your power. Start getting all your ducks in a row so you can make good decisions and I would tell your wife that if she insists on seeing this man then she has to move out.  She's having her cake and eating it too and it's YOU who has to put an end to this.  I wish you all the best, and if this doesn't work out, I promise you will find love again.  Think of what you want and deserve out of a spouse as well as your children and it's not this situation.  Take care.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the kind and encouraging words . I left a lot out , and now that I'm thinking a little clearer I realized that a lot of this was my fault going back about 8yrs . It still does not justify what she did , but I can understand a little better of why this happened . We seemed like we were friends for a long time , and what happened really did not change much in reality . It's not gonna stay this way forever , but for now it will have to .... once again thanks for the support .
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jemma116
United Kingdom