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Unexplainable anger (that I can't deal with)
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Unexplainable anger (that I can't deal with)

There are some times where I get these incensing thoughts and they quickly ignite anger in me. When I was a child I used to lash out, however I had been told to "hold it in and control it" as best as possible.

Nowadays, though, it's different. The more I try to hold it in, the more it ends up hurting (it's like someone carved a hole in your chest and started gushing flaming hot air in that "hole"). It robs me of my ability to think rationally, so I try not to interact with others lest I say and/or do something offensive to others (that I can't take back once said). However, the overwhelming desire to ease the pain it brings gives me a huge urge to at least try to talk or act - otherwise my anger might rip me apart.

There's no one around to really talk about this with (I have therapy for only one hour during the few days of the week that I have it), so how should I go about dealing with an anger that A)causes me physical AND mental pain & suffering, B)kills all of my motivation and confidence, and C)pretty much requires all of my sanity to keep in check WHILE it makes me tired?

Most all of the things I've tried have only given temporary relief (very small amounts that wear off quickly), so I'm kinda looking for something that can reduce this problem from "happens almost every day" to "happens every so often", and at least reduce the level to something manageable. Is there any way that I can deal with this issue in that manner?
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Avatar_f_tn

Hello there,
I just finished reading your comments. You express yourself well.
I don't know if any suggestions I have to offer may be of help to you,
but I will try. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of incensing thoughts
do you get that cause you to feel angry ? Is this something that happened
in your childhood? I suggest this because I remember you mentioning that
as a child you were asked to " hold it in and control it" . I am not a counsellor, but I have been to see various counsellors over the years.
I am not going to put words in your mouth, but things that could cause
anger in a child might be being abused, feeling like you are being treated
unfairly, feeling neglected. Not being taken seriously or not being allowed
to express your feelings. I will tell you I'm an educator by profession and
I have spent a long time teaching children. That's my background and I
have my own childhood to draw from. It sounds like you may be suffering
from pent up anger. Anger is a normal emotion. It's how you deal with that
anger. I know about anger too. You need to get rid of that anger in a healthy way.  It's good that you're going for counselling so you have an
opportunity to talk. That's good. What you could do is join a gym. Take
your anger out of a punching bag maybe. Do activities in the gym which
can help you get rid of your anger in a healthy way. You could start a
journal if you aren't already doing that. Sometimes journal writing can help
you figure out your feelings. Also don't edit your writing. Really write what
you are thinking and feeling. Sometimes just punching a pillow helps.
I wish you the best. If you want to further this discussion you could send
me a message. When you're releasing your anger, make sure you keep
yourself safe and other people too. Anger is a normal feeling. It's not
healthy to keep the anger in, but it's also not fair to take it out on other
people. This is called transferred anger. I wish you well.   Eve
4 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn

Hello there,
I just finished reading your comments. You express yourself well.
I don't know if any suggestions I have to offer may be of help to you,
but I will try. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of incensing thoughts
do you get that cause you to feel angry ? Is this something that happened
in your childhood? I suggest this because I remember you mentioning that
as a child you were asked to " hold it in and control it" . I am not a counsellor, but I have been to see various counsellors over the years.
I am not going to put words in your mouth, but things that could cause
anger in a child might be being abused, feeling like you are being treated
unfairly, feeling neglected. Not being taken seriously or not being allowed
to express your feelings. I will tell you I'm an educator by profession and
I have spent a long time teaching children. That's my background and I
have my own childhood to draw from. It sounds like you may be suffering
from pent up anger. Anger is a normal emotion. It's how you deal with that
anger. I know about anger too. You need to get rid of that anger in a healthy way.  It's good that you're going for counselling so you have an
opportunity to talk. That's good. What you could do is join a gym. Take
your anger out of a punching bag maybe. Do activities in the gym which
can help you get rid of your anger in a healthy way. You could start a
journal if you aren't already doing that. Sometimes journal writing can help
you figure out your feelings. Also don't edit your writing. Really write what
you are thinking and feeling. Sometimes just punching a pillow helps.
I wish you the best. If you want to further this discussion you could send
me a message. When you're releasing your anger, make sure you keep
yourself safe and other people too. Anger is a normal feeling. It's not
healthy to keep the anger in, but it's also not fair to take it out on other
people. This is called transferred anger. I wish you well.   Eve
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the tips. I've had anger issues all of my life and have only just decided to search for anger management treatment in Essex. Since the beginning of my therapy I've felt that my anger has become allot more controllable and less explosive.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the tips. I've had anger issues all of my life and have only just decided to search for anger management treatment in Essex. Since the beginning of my therapy I've felt that my anger has become allot more controllable and less explosive.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn

Hi there,
Thank you for choosing my comments as the best answer. As I mentioned, anger is a normal human emotion. It's a mistake to try and suppress it. It's there for a reason. Suppressing the anger and turning it inward is unhealthy. There are ways to release the anger in a healthy way. I wish
you the best.   Eve
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