Im 18 and live with my mom, bro (nearly 16 ) and recently, dad. I will give my background.
I was ill ever since I was young until about the age of 5 I practically lived in a hospital with chest issues and pneumnia so I had to have alot of steroids to help deal with those situations.
When I was younger I was bullied until around secondary school where I stood up for my self and anybody who tryed to bully me I just punched out, due to all this I just diddnt want to go to school any more being bullied all the time isnt fun but I was ashamed to admit to my mom and bro that I was bullied but they did know about me punching people. Since I was going to school my situation at home was terrible I still went to school every now and then and some how still got B to A+ grades on my exams. My mom became very hostile and my brother and would gang up on me in arguements causing me to get even more angry due to being bullied in school and now at home
I would get a threat off my mom to be thrown out if I diddnt go, she got me a social worker he said I was a cool young lad with no issues a few weeks after being assigned to me. My brother joined secondary school and was not bullied and did not have a hard time there how ever he did exactly the same as me and hardly attended how ever my mom never went off at him for it and buys all of the excuses he gives her with no threats not even a arguement so this just makes me more angry if I argue with my brother he is the first 1 to throw a punch I do not hit him back unless he hits me in the nose or groin area that makes me go red and on a rampage. My mom blames me for him hitting me saying that he learns from example and that I shouldnt have argued in the first place how ever even if I just push him I get treated like a serial killer. The man I knew as my father was a drug dealer and left our family when I was very young. My mum a few years back started to date this guy and 1 day comes to me and says he is your real father even though it doesnt say it on the birth certificate due to her sleeping with him when her and the other guy had a 2 week break.
A recent arguement we had was over some thing I seriously dont understand why they went off on 1, Every time I have a bath or long shower I ask does anybody need to use bathroom. Tonight I had just dropped some lucozade and penicillin on my hands and needed to wash them before jumping on the computer so I asked can I use it after I put the items back in the container. My mom went in the bathroom used the bathroom then came out and started having a go at me saying that I am really selfish little bas///d and threatened to break my PC, upon hearing this my brother started going off on 1 with me so he and her were shouting at me, so this made me really angry as I diddnt do any thing wrong. Then she threatened to throw away the drinks in the home due to I mentioned to her I dont like them and she went 'the drinks you like cost alot more so I aint getting them, tough' It's only a pound more and I offered to pay it but she says some thing about there being a 'principal' anyway, so my brother keeps going on and on much like this wall of text that I am writing, so I warn my brother to shut up and stop going off at me got nothing to do with him, my mom then says he is entitled to his opinion, I then relpied yeh he is but a opinion isnt shouting at some body repeating the same thing 15 times over. each time I warned them shut him up or I will seriously swing for him nobody did any thing and he diddnt stop it was as if they were waiting for me to hit him or some thing so they could go off on 1 about it 1 time I hit my brother when I was younger 1 punch and that was after he punched me many times she called the police on me, they said there is no offence and its just what brothers do, my brother 1 time stabbed me in the side with darts when I was 12 before going to school and my mom said that 'they werent that long' and not even a shouting at was given to him. when ever I mention how unfair she treats us she goes off on 1 saying that I am ungrateful and that she treats us the same. so anyway in the end I pushed him, just a push my dad walks straight up to me and does that thing that men do before they fight, where they walk up to each other and stare eye to eye before the first punch, so I was not backing down, my mom said go find some where else to live if you cant behave yourself and went absoultely crazy, while my brother was eggin me on to hit him saying go on then do it and such. I just dont know what to do I am not in a financial place to get my own home I am a full time student and my door is full of holes that I've punched so that I dont take it out on anybody else. I am usually a timid guy and it takes quite alot to get me angry but once I am angry it can get out of hand when I was 5 had to have 5 doctors hold me down to get gassed due to the anesthesia cream not effect me. Any suggestions on what I could do? or at least so that I know that it isnt me causing all this?
You are surrounded with hostality and alot of it is habitual. i would suggest making a plan to get out on your own. Make a life the way that you want free from agression. Focus on being a success. all that wasted energy could be put to good use on creating a great life for your self. Your story is total madness, get out on your own with good loving people. Only you make your life dont let other make it for you.
I think you first need self -motivation guidance and need to change way of living. For a better life first try with thinking good ideas, because I think advices will only help you take decision yourself. So first find a solution within you.
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