blood in vomit, but not wanting to stop

[kkgirl]

Hi,
My name is kristi and i am 14 years old.  I have been bulimic/anorexic for over 2 years now. It started out as bulimia and only doing it every once in a while.  Well i continued purging, it got worse and worse.  I got to doing it everyday after eating only one meal a day!  Well, i noticed that it wasnt helping a lot.  So i decided to go to full anorexia.  I stopped eating for about 2 months and once my therapist and family made me start eating again (after they found out i wasnt eating) i started purging again.  Well this went on for about a year maybe a little longer.. I finally stopped the purging for a while, but it is starting to come back!  I threw up last night and there was blood in it.  And now im not eating so i wont have to throw up and have blood in it!  I dont want to stop but i also know that i might need to!
Ive been hospitalized once for this but it was also for cutting to.  I know these things are bad to be doing to myself, but i cant seem to stop and technically, i dont think i want to! So what should i do?

Kristi

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Dear Kristi,

I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.  I am just now looking at your question.

Wow for being 14 you have already been through a lot with your eating disorder.  You sound like you are in treatment.  For your benefit, be completely honest with your treatment providers and your parents.

Purging blood can be life threatening.  I would inform your parents and your therapist of having purged blood.  So in the future if you purge blood again, your parents can take you to the doctor, Urgent Care or Emergency immediately.  Although purging blood can be less severe a tear in the esophagus, it can also be internal bleeding which can cause death.  

I understand that deep down inside you do not want to give up your eating disorder.  I appreciate your honesty.  I would talk this through with your therapist.  Eating disorders rob people of their lives, relationships and what they have to offer the community at large.  The eating disorder is not just going to go away.  It will only get worse.  My hope for you is to release the hold the eating disorder has on you.  Have your voice to live the life you so richly deserve.

To learn more about anorexia, bulimia and free ANAD groups we offer, visit the bella vita website.

Best,

Dr Patricia Pitts
The Bella Vita
Los Angeles

[shlee1016]

I agree with the post above me. I appreciate your honesty and know how hard it is to give up an eating disorder. I struggle with the same thing. I was struggling at your age, am now 22, and still have a really hard time with it. I know it's not going to do much good for me to tell you how terrible it is depending on where you're at right now with your e.d. versus recovery, but I'll try anyway. If I could go back in time and relive the past nine years of my life, I would have done it so much differently. I would have tried hard to get better, because now I know firsthand that the eating disorder has robbed me of the last nine years of my life. It's no way to live, and it's not something that you can just "stop" whenever you want, as much as we may wish we could. I could talk forever, and would be happy to talk to you if you'd like. I hope you will consider getting help. I understand where you are at; I really do. I hope you're doing okay today. Please hang in there, okay? Keep us posted.

Ashley

[Lilmnstr]

hey kkgirl
I was bout your age when I started to purge. I did it off and on for years. Everyday since Ive started having health problems I wish and cry that I had never started doing what you are doing to yourself now. Im now 37 and the years of purging had finally came to a head 5 years ago. I started having numbing n my hands and feet light headed dizzy disoriented at times. I have chest pains alll the  time! The doctors think with all the purging I may have damaged the nerves in my chest. After I told a cardiologist I was bulimic they ran test to see if I had damaged my heart.I have symptoms of Dysautonomia and let me tell you this is not fun! I have shooting pains in my body and they run up my neck and into my brain! I now cannot tolerate the heat and feel horrible during the summer.I have a irregular heartbeat .The doctors are baffled and think I have ruined my nuerolical system.I sometimes feel like I have to make myself breath suring the day and am now having to sleep with a cpap machine at night because i now have sleep apnea! I know of somebody who blew out the nerves in her eyes from all the purging and eventually will go blind! I have a friend who was annorexic for years and at the age or 28 had the bones of a 67 year old woman because she didnt eat! She now has to have bone scans done periodically to monitor her bones . shes now 37 and I can only imagine how her bones are now! She has to be extra careful not to break her bones or a hip! I knew a lady who abused laxatives to stay thin for years! It erroded a hole in her intestines and she had the feces infect her body. She eventually died! Please stop what you are doing! You have no idea how i wish I had somebody tell me the things that could go wrong with your body purging and not eating properly when I was your age! I know its hard! But if you want to live you HAVE TO STOP & SEEK SOME HELP AND THERAPY!!!! Please keep in touch and let me know of your progress! Ill be praying for you! God Bless!