Does any other aspie feel this bad?

Hello, I'm 20 years old and have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome back in 2009. I'm wondering if any others feel the way I do.

I have extreme social phobia, and try to avoid all social contact with people. Just saying Hi to someone terrifies me, but I don't want to be rude if someone speaks to me. I communicate better through the computer keyboard than I do in person. I'm terrified of social interactions on the telephone and avoid answering it at all costs. Instead I let the answering machine take the call, or let my mom get it. I feel very depressed and feel like a total failure. I have no friends, and I stay "locked up" in my room pretty much all day. Only coming out when I need to get something, eat, etc.

I graduated from high school a year early and graduated from a 2 yr college with a 4.0 GPA, but I still feel like a total failure. I'm scared if anyone who knows me, other than my family, finds out I have Asperger's they won't want anything to do with me. I'm on disability due to all of my problems, and it doesn't help my confidence any. I wish I could work and spend time with others, but what's the point? I feel like I can't do anything right, and I'm a total idiot. I know that's not true, but that's absolutely how I feel.

Being bullied pretty much everyday of school since I was younger didn't help anything either. I really can't trust anyone, and I feel like pretty much everyone, EXCEPT my family and the Dear Lord God, hate me. I wish I wouldn't feel like this, and I would know how to interact with people without fear like everyone else does, that I see on the streets walking by every day. Laughing and having fun, Unlike me. :'(

[Nintendo_Gamer]

????? Anyone ?????

[melipops]

Hi, My son is 14 and is diagnosed with autism High fuctioning. He feels like what he calls a "fail" all the time. He has recently been put onto medication to help him sleep and this has made him feel better. He has severe anxiety and won't answer the phone. I have not known him to ring anyone either. He hates to leave the house. He loves everything familiar and I guess he feels it's only like that when you are home. My son doesn't have you IQ. He does have friends but that has probably been because they have known him all his life. I'm sure if you put yourself out there more people will like you. People aren't as scared of autism as you think. Let people know and i bet that some people will be genuinely interested in you and your life. You sound like a very nice person. I can only hope that my son when he gets to your age can get his message across in such an intelligent eloquent way. Good luck with connecting with more people you have already started. Take care reply to my post if you like. We live in Australia where are you?

[goldielocks326]

hello,
i think there is a lot more acceptance in the world today than in the past. dont be ashamed to tell people about yourself. my brother i believe has aspergers though never diagnosed he has all the tall tell signs he however is not like you in that you seem to be aware of your differences and seem to want interaction and what is considered as "happiness laughing and having fun"  try to put yourself out there and do not let ignorant people keep you from trying. life is too short not to try and reach the things you want. do you have a pet? i ask because i have a dog and she is soooo much more than a dog to me, she is my baby my best friend and my security blanket. if you treat a dog with love respect and kindness that dog will love you and support you unconditionally.  if you have not considered adopting a dog before but you like dogs, maybe think about it. and if you do think about, take your time in picking the right one for you. when i found my furry baby i knew she was the one for me she kept jumping into my lap and she is so sweet and gentle and she does not bark that is very important a dog that barks a lot is very annoying. dogs can also give you strength. just a thought?? i am very outgoing and social but none the less my dog provides me more love secuity and comfort than any person ever has. you sound very nice and very willing to reach out to people, i think you are on the right track!

[Nintendo_Gamer]

Thank you so much for your response! I greatly appreciate it! :)

I'm sorry to hear that your son is going through the severe anxiety too. I hope he will begin to feel a lot better soon. I wish him the best of luck!

Cool, how is it in Australia? I live in Pennsylvania.


Thank you so much again! :)

[Nintendo_Gamer]

Thank you so much for your response! I greatly appreciate it! :)

Yes, I have a Toy Poodle. I just got him in January of this year. So far he is 8 months old, and I love him. He loves to play fetch with me, and helps cheer me up when I'm sad. I know he loves me too. I totally agree that they become so much more than a pet, but a best friend and a family member who cares and supports you when you need it the most. :)

Thank you so much again! :)

[denis1987]

I a 23 year old who has ASD and as a child I felt different from the other children but I thought everyone did so I learned some skills to help me fit in at school, I became good at sports and learned how to make people laugh along with how to socialize at first this was hard as my friends would help me learn by saying you've taken it to far, here is the line and here you are and other things on the same lines .I also used my obsessive nature to learn the guitar which never fails to impress, plus its logical structure has a calming affect on me. I still struggle in new environments but I have developed the "tools" (as experts are so fond of saying) to help me fit in so take it from me if I could do it then so can you if you are willing to try.

I hope this has helped you.

[Nintendo_Gamer]

Thank you so much for your response. I greatly appreciate it! :)

I'm glad to hear that you have been able to make the best out of your Asperger's Syndrome, and that you don't let it hold you back. I have been trying lately to get over the social awkwardness/phobia, but it is so hard for me. I do believe I'm getting a little bit better now though. Since you were able to do that, I should be able to do the same. :)

Thanks again!