My 12 year old son has Asperger's. (He was diagnosed when he was 4) He started middle school (6th grade) this year and from experiences with my daughter who is a typical needs kid, I know big changes for kids usually hit in 7th grade so I still have some time but want to start planning out how I am going to tell him about his condition.
He may already know that he's different although he has never said or asked anything in this regard. He is a sweet, gentle and sensitive boy and I'm just not sure where to start or how to explain to him about him being on the spectrum. I'm so afraid he's going to think there is something wrong with him because sometimes his self esteem runs a little low and I definitely want to avoid making him feel that way. I plan to stress to him that there is nothing WRONG with him. I don't want to get emotional (but it's hard not to) because he will then get emotional and that will just make his anxiety level go up which I also don't want.
If anyone can share any experiences, I'd appreciate it. I just need a starting point. Most times, if I approach him and say "we need to talk," he automatically thinks it's bad, and it's hardly EVER bad because he's such a good boy, he very rarely gets in trouble, so I'm not sure why he always thinks that.
I've seen some names of books out there that he can read himself too once I talk to him. Any recommendations for that would be appreciated as well.
All I can tell you about is how I feel about my aspergers: "Why would anyone be afraid to tell me?" Ive never considered my aspergers to be a limitation, to be something feared or worried over. Its an aspect of my personality, one which I wouldnt trade away. Giving it a name makes no difference.
Infact once I found out, it explained a lot of things id been wondering about, and generally made me *happier.* I tend to abhor loose ends.... But heres the thing, that you really need to keep in mind: Sensory Processing Disorders. This is why you must have an open discussion, and why you must ask hard questions.
Like im sure if someone had asked me if I'm in pain a lot, I woudlve said "Yes, all physical sensations cause pain." Instead, I just assumed it was normal. So I never even though tto bring it up. It wouldve saved me a lot of psychological destruction...
it was only after 20 years I came to fully comprehend what this meant: That id be forever lacking any sort of comforting physical contact, since its all pain. Had we known, i coudlve begun therapy for it sooner. If your kid has these things, and if he has aspergers theres a good chance he does to some degree..Learning about them as soon as possible is best. (Keep in mind, my version is rather extrme even for aspergers.)
Sorry for the rambling nature of this, im trying to deflate a panic attack. Oh, right; watch out for panic attacks. They seem to happen a lot with aspergers folks.
My son does not have Aspergers but he had a brain injury about a year ago and the Dr. that saved his life has Aspergers! We love him! He knows he has it and he is brilliant. Now, talking with us as parents is a little difficult to follow but my son is 12 and gets along with him perfectly! He is so good with kids and he really gets them. I have heard from other people that went to high school with him that he was always a little different. Thank gosh! He became a neurologist. You never know... My son is not the same as before. I love the new Jordan too! Who wants a cookie cutter kid anyway!LOL Our kids can do amazing things! We have been open and honest with Jordan to a degree about what is to come and gotten him involved with things he can do. I tell him we do not see this as any different than any other person. There are so many things that effect people and they go on to be happy and do great things. Best of luck to you!
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