I have ranted about my older brother(late thirties now) at 'adult with special needs forum'
i thought he was just degenerative psychopath.
But there were times make me wonder, what exactly his condition is?
Like..... He sometimes becomes very violent, when someone disappointed him just a little, lied to him about very trivial things, irritated him with just a very tiny things, he threw tantrum like 12 years old. But he is not 12 years old, so it was really scary. He is soooooooo unstable.
On the other hand, he is very calm and sometimes very nice like English gentlemen. like nothing bad has happened. It made me confused. He was not anti-social violent psycho. then what was it?
and he didn't or couldn't make his own meal, refuse to learn new things, is always very dependent on other people, he can't live by himself, always need someone to take care of him.
When my parents offered me money to get out of their house, I said 'Yeahy! thx ma!! Now I'm free!' i guess most adults feel like me haha.
but when my parents gave money to my brother to kick him out of their house, he grabbed doorknob so tight and refused to leave. He was his twenties then. Money or job was not only his problem. He couldn't live alone without someone's support. Someone has to make meals for him, support him, help him.
when he entered high school, he couldn't find his own class by himself, so my parents had to find it for him! So they couldn't come to my middle school admission ceremony!
Strange thing was, he was always smart. maybe smarter than me if it was about I.Q.
but his grade was always bad, and he couldn't concentrate at anything.
and he really hates to learn new things by himself except game playing or his hobbies.
Now he is late thirties....unreasonable tantrums, ridiculous perfectionism, can't socialize with people, doesn't except other people's little flaws or faults, doesn't forgive anyone for anything, extremely selfish, can't live alone...
I've heard asperger's don't lie but my brother lies very well for his convenience. But you know maybe it was just little out of spectrum...
I never thought he was asperger's.....but since watching the movie 'Adam(movie about asperger's)'
NOW I STRONGLY SUSPECT HE HAS IT. though not sweet as the movie, my brother is terrible version of Adam.
At least Adam was a nice person.
My brother is really good looking, well-dressing himself, very smart, verbally fluent when it was not social situation.
but not interested in friends, women, anything, he just play games 24/7.
Not kidding. physically only play games 24/7 living with parents doing nothing. and if we try to cut internet connection he gives the tantrum, sometimes we think someday he might kill us when we can't afford his gameplaying anymore and he will grab the insurance money. (I said he is smart)
.......No wait. of course he is not a devil.... it's just....when kids get upset, they can do terrible things only to get what they want, some kids are reckless.
I think his emotional and moral stage is at that level.
Do you think he is asperger's syndrome? Till now i had no clue what's wrong with him. But the movie Adam reminded me of my brother.
A nice guy when you don't irritate him. He is nearly innocent and funny like a child.
but one thing cracks, everything becomes hell.
He may well display AD, but his emotional outbursts are not typical of those with AD alone. He would benefit from an evaluation with a psychiatrist - medication would permit him to maintain better emotional control. In addition, it sounds like he could benefit from the supports of the local Department of Mental Health or similar resource in your area.
I absolutely think that your brother has ashburgers my brother now at the age of 21 is the SAME in every way. His game is world of war craft. He gets the tamptrums he has refuses to live life alone and is very very smart but had horrible grades. He took the act got almost a 30 without even trying just to prove a point to my mother but yet he made d’s and f’s in school he never had friends nor has he ever had a girl friend. He can be extremely well behaved until anything changes in his life then he acts badly just like a child. he is now living with me because he scares my mother with his tantrums he really dose not know his own strength he has accidently broken doors and other things without even knowing what he has done. I have tried to help him get a job he does not say no but he starts making out this list saying that he can’t work with a lot of people or money or food. He refuses to drive he is extremely afraid of it almost passes out in a driver seat without the car ever being on. He was first diagnosed when he was younger with ADHD and ADD because he had to go to a specialist over hitting his preschool teacher over her head with a chair we all just thought he was sico until last year when we took him to a therapist (bribed him) who assured us that he had ashburgers. I got on here looking for advise me and my husband have been married for a year and I love my brother but he just can’t live with us forever I have tried my hardest to get him some dependency on his own but today he told me that he will not live by himself that if we made him move that it would just make him kill himself because he can’t be by himself. I needed advice on how to handle a ashburgers person in this circumstance or how to get him to venture in the outside world like get a job or just have a relationship with someone anyone I know in my heart that if he just found the right person or the right job he would be fine he would find the meaning to it all I guess that is what I am trying to say. If you have any pointers anything at all please let me know
Hello Kevin, I was just reading your response to the ausberger's query.... I have often wondered if I myself may have it. I have always had a hard time relating to people and have only had a few lasting friendships. I have mild social anxiety and depression, of which I have suffered most of my 40 years. I didn't make good grades in school, yet am very intellectually curious and informed. I have never been the temper tantrum type, I have lived at home with my parents for most of my life. I did enlist in the Army a few years back, but only made it through basic training until they discovered I had diabetes insipidus.
I was just curious as to your thoughts, what are the markers of Ausberger's, and what treatment is there.
P.S. -- my father definetly fits the bill on the game playing, getting in atleast 10 hours a day. He has always been very anti social, but that nevr bothered him as it really does for me. I very much wish I had more social engagements. It seems the Ausberger's has lead to the social anxiety, which is far from debilitating.... I am actually just starting Zoloft for the Socail Anxiety, depression and recurring negative thoughts. I am also working with a CBT; read alot of self help books on the subject, so I'm really trying to solve my issues, and get better.... For me, lacking a social life has REALLY been debilitating for me and my development.
Your brother is like mine except my brother is way worse. My brother moved to other game I don't want to bother to know. He is tired of WOW now, so he found new one lol...
First of all, if you wanna know would your brother ever get right person or be better, I'm not sure because my brother is getting worse as he gets older. and more violent and more psychotic. My brother was kinda bearable when he was 21 years old.
My family and even my town psychologist never figured out what's wrong with him. He showed some schizoid behavior but it was just small part of his problem... He is extremely selfish and has no empathy to other people, so I thought it was some psychopathic personality but he is not that cruel either...
Problem is, if he starts new job or new relationship, he makes list like your brother, things he hates, things he has to do, things mandatory (only for him), things he doesn't like, people he doesn't like....It's a long list and if anyone cross the list he throws horrible tantrum, he shatters stuffs, yell and yell endlessly, use swearwords to our mother, no one can control him now.
Strange thing is he is very shy and calm in front of people who are stronger than him. He is soooooo low and coward.
if someone stronger than him gives him stress, he recoils and comes back to us hiding behind us. Uh, Damn human trash,
I always thought myself Not so great person, actually I think myself a failure, but my brother always gives me some confidence I'm not the worst person in the world compared to him.
I'm not so sympathetic to him, unlike me you look caring about your brother and want to support him, but I hate my brother.
If he is asperger or what, I just wanna know is it treatable or not.
He never work nor do house chores, threats my mom and me to earn money and make meals for him, if we threat him to kick him out, he shouts saying he would commit suicide if we abandon him,
Damn why don't he just commit it.
Sorry for my rambling, I've been tortured by him whole my life. I know my words are harsh and terrible.
But he is that terrible and I'm tired.
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