I posted that I told my ex to never contact me again, and he took me literally.I have read up on so much of this Asperger's stuff, he was withdrawn from me now and I haven't heard from him. I tried to contact him to apologise for the way I spoke to him. He is ignoring me. Is this part of it also??
You will probably never hear from your X again, unless, he really likes you, and you make an effort to communicate. He will ignore you, until he feels like your words no longer hurt him. If he likes you a lot this may take a couple of years. He's withdrawn and probably hurt. You have to be careful with Aspergers people, we rarely communicate, and so when we let our guard down with someone we like, and they treat us like this, we may never respond again, unless we really like the person, and there is effort. Again this depends on the person and situation. Some Aspies may never look, talk, or communicate with you ever again. Sorry.
For your sake I hope you do hear from your ex, but being aspie for me seems to be about safety in structure and trust. When you told him to never contact you again that was fine, but now you want him to contact you which is now sending him a mixed message which is confusing and un-structured, un-safe (once bitten twice shy!). Aspies are very logical and honest, and just as Nts expect us to think like them I have expected Nts to think like us which is almost impossible with out understanding on both sides. So if you haven't already then I would suggest you give him an honest explanation of why you first didn't want to hear from him and why now you do and have changed your mind and then be patient and carry on with your life. Good luck
The frustration and hurt from my part is. When we were together I knew nothing about Asperger's I had never heard of it.
I feel angry with him and I don't know why. I desperately needed to talk to him and work out why I behaved the way I did. His behaviour and abnormal emotional responses were causing me huge anguish and frustration. I loved him dearly but not his condition.
The more I learned about Asperger's I was gobsmacked and the range of emotions I felt towards him were unreal. I was swinging from hate to compassion in 24 hours.
I am still angry that he shut down completely and never gave me a chance to gain some sort of closure.To be ignored like this is very painful for an NT.
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