What to do

[Babybubba27]

Our son is 9 and he has been having problems with anger since he was 6. Most of his anger is at school. It started the end of 1st grade, when he was being defiant to the teacher. Then in 2nd grade he got in trouble for threating a kid and the for hitting the teachers and Principal. He was then kicked out of that school and placed in another. It was still happening. Then he went to physical abuse to kids and staff at the school. Summer was good that year. 3rd grade was worse yet. He hit a lot of kids at school and then one day I had to pick him up from the police station because he kicked a 4th grade girl down the bus steps, hit and cursed at the bus driver and the Principal. He then took of running from the bus to a main street where the Principal caught him and brought him back to school kicking screaming and cursing. The police were called by the school and they took my son to the police station where I picked him up. Again he was kicked out of that school and placed into a Special Education class. He was evaluated and they found nothing wrong. They advised me to also take him to a psychologist. I did and that last for 6 months, but no progress and they couldn't find anything wrong. So now (3rd grade Special Education class) he was doing great the last 3 1/2 months of third grade was great even all the way through summer. Then we get stuff from the school saying they lost the budget for the busing of students out of the school district so my son was going to have to go to a different school for 4th. Well 4th grade just started and we are not even a month in and he has been in trouble already two days in a row. I have read lots of stuff on how to  discipline   nothing works. I have tried reward systems, time outs, grounding, taking stuff away and making him earn it back, sitting down talking and not punishing and nothing works. Please help. I just know if he is like this now he will get worse as he get older. Keep in mind he is a big boy 102lbs.

[ScienceMan]

It is possible that your son has Asperger's or ASD.  This is NOT ADHD but if undiagnosed can lead to lots of frustration on the part of the child, parents and teachers.  One symptom is the inability to pick up on escalation of social interactions, and the child lashing out" out of frustration when he is unable to communicate and/or feels he is being atacked for no reason.  Quite often this reaction will be out of scale with the apparent initial causes, since the child is not able to figure out what is going on in that social situation.

Educate yourself about Asperger's and autism spectrum disorders to see if other aspects of his behavior fit the above picture.  Then pursue interventions that can help your child become more aware of social situations and better able to ask for help when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated

[ScienceMan]

It is possible that your son has Asperger's or ASD.  This is NOT ADHD but if undiagnosed can lead to lots of frustration on the part of the child, parents and teachers.  One symptom is the inability to pick up on escalation of social interactions, and the child lashing out" out of frustration when he is unable to communicate and/or feels he is being atacked for no reason.  Quite often this reaction will be out of scale with the apparent initial causes, since the child is not able to figure out what is going on in that social situation.

Educate yourself about Asperger's and autism spectrum disorders to see if other aspects of his behavior fit the above picture.  Then pursue interventions that can help your child become more aware of social situations and better able to ask for help when feeling overwhelmed or frustrated

[Jason C Bourret, Ph.D., BCBA-D]

This is clearly a very difficult situation with your son and I appreciate the difficulties that you are going through.  I’m not clear on whether your son has been diagnosed with an autism-spectrum disorder but, in any case, effective treatment of aggression can be found regardless of diagnosis.  I am glad to hear that you have read up on disciplinary techniques and have tried quite a few.  The procedures that you list definitely can work but, given your situation, I would recommend getting some help from a professional who has experience in treating behavior problems.  I strongly recommend that you seek the assistance of a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Please visit the website of the Behavior Analysis Certification Board (http://www.bacb.com/) where you will find a directory of service providers. A Board Certified Behavior Analyst would be able to conduct or oversee an assessment to determine why your son is displaying this problematic behavior. An intervention based on this type of assessment is very likely to reduce you son’s problematic behavior and the development of an intervention does not rely on diagnosis.