Help...I am at wits end with this and docs.

[ccw31]

I am at a loss trying to find help for my son. We have been to multiple doctors and therapist. All agree he is delayed, but no reason why. I would appreciate your time in maybe an oppinion on where I go/do next to help him. He just turned 3 and has delayed speech. He says the syllables, but has a very difficult time in pronounceation. At times he seems to be fine alone, even ignoring us. But at times he asks for help with things he cannot do on his own. He has problems eating certain foods, mostly foods that do not contain bread. He has a history of GERD/Reflux. He will not carry back and forth conversation. The only thing that is meaningful in conversation is activities that are taking place at that time. He has meltdowns when he does  not get his way. He is very interested in the computer and can play his games on his own. He avoids words he can not say by using gestures such as pointing to his mouth when he is hungry. He has spells of muscle flexing (entire body) while holding his breath and during these spells makes facial grimaces with eyes bulging at times. These happen mostly when over stimulated such as very excited, tired, or bored. He has not worn jeans since December and fights me when we try to put them on and begs for "more pants". He does not like stickers, or glue when it is on his hands, but does not seem to have trouble with other textures. He will not eat certain foods and regularly spits out food, however he eats tree bark, sticks, mulch, cardboard, paper, chalk. Please if anyone sees any simularities let me know what you did to seek help. I am at my witts end. We have had EEG that turned out normal and all other physicians seem to think he is fine, but daycare and the early intervention say he is delayed and he exhibits the "spells" frequently and at times is scary for me. I need direction please. Is this ADHD, Autism or just delay.....or something else?

[gemmamisty]

It does sound like he has some classic signs of autism or high functioning asd. Have a look at sites like the national autistics society where they give you a list of signs/symptoms as a kind of informal checklist. It certainly sounds like he does have some sensory difficulties as you have described. It's funny you mentioned that he likes eating tree bark, my son used to like eating that, along with dried catfood and ice, thank fully we have moved on from there. He just really liked crunchy things to eat to we worked out giving him, raw carrots, crisps (plain vegetable chips are most healthy) helped pave the way to introduce a more normal, healthy diet. He could have an addiciton to gluten, which is quite common is children with asd and it can be found in cardboard i believe as well as glue and of course all wheat breads. The gluten he does get could overstimulate him too if this is the case and often children with an addiction to gluten can also have an intollerance to it. There are lots and lots of possibilities. The times you mentioned where his body becomes rigid, is this like he is doing it himself as he is uncomfortable/upset? my son tenses his muscles, often his whole body when upset/aggitated/nervous. This has resulted in him having an overly toned muscle system as he does it quite a lot. You described a meltdown, can you describe it? like a tantrum? or becoming so distressed he literally can not control himself and screams repeatedly for an hour? Gosh there are so many things to talk about here, if you want to ask anything specific to me go ahead, i do see a lot of similar signs/behaviours to my son.

[Jaylor24]

you said you have taken him to doctors...have you taken him to a developmental pediatrician?  Obviously if he is doing these kinds of things it is more then "delay".  My son was diagnosed PDD-NOS he is mild however.  We had him diagnosed by a developmental and behavioral pediatrician and a pediatric neurologist as well as a psychologist (the psychologist was through early intervention) for a clinical diagnosis it has to be done by a dev & beh pediatrician or pediatric neurologist. One of the main reasons I had him evaluated at 2 1/2 was he started to bit the paint off the window sill...he wouldnt eat it but bit it off and spit it out.  He would like the palms of his hands.  He eventually grew out of both Thank G-d.  But he was diagnosed at 2 1/2 so I was able to really learn what to do for him, what works for him and it wasnt all through the doctors and therapists.  I have switched doctors and therapists until i felt I was happy with them.     My son never had problems with eating as your son has a history of GERD reflux.  He will however not eat certain things such as yogart, oatmeal.  He had many meltdowns when he didnt get what he wanted but over time I learned what I was able to do to stop them such as a positive reward system that after I saw a change comletely in his behavior, I would slowly wean off the rewards...ex when we went to target he would want a whole rack of hot wheels cars and scream of course when he didnt get it...I would take him every week sometimes more during the week...i would let him pick one car if he threw a fit he wouldnt get it.  The next time was the same thing and he screamed all the way home and finally when he stopped screaming i gave him a car and told him that was because he was a good boy and didnt cry.  A few weeks of this and he finally was able to go in buy one car and leave.  Now I am able to tell him we will get a car another day and he is okay with that.  There is no one way with kids like this they are all very different you have to find what works for you...what he likes...try it.  good luck

[Sally44]

Have you also looked at Sensory Integration Disorder.  This means they perceive sensory information differently.  You can have SID without autism, but most, if not all, on the spectrum also have sensory issues as well.  The sensory perception can fluctuate between over and under sensitive throughout the day and day to day.  It can affect any or all of the senses or how the senses interact.  For example the eating of non-food items is called pica and is associated with ASDs.
Has your son been checked to make sure he doesn't have any kind of seizures?
You need to find a very good SALT who has experience of speech disorders and autistic spectrum disorders to assess all aspects of his speech/communication/social interaction and auditory processing.  If your son pronounces words or sylabels incorrectly this could be central auditory processing disorder.  A good SALT should be able to tell you whether the communication and social interaction difficulties he has are typical of a diagnosis of an ASD.
It is also quite typical for talk to be limited to getting needs met ie. not using language for social interaction.  So typically children don't 'chat'.  They will ask for food, drink, TV turned on etc.  But not tell you what they did at nursery, or ask you about things out of curiosity.  They can appear to ignore you or appear deaf and not respond to their name.  They can give totally unrelated answers to questions you ask them.
Does he tend to stick to doing things in a particular way, or does he get upset if his routine changes or if you try to move him from one thing to another eg. turn off the TV to come and eat dinner?