toilet training problems

[vickiesmom]

My 7 year old daughter is still very afraid of having a bowel movement on the toilet. She knows when she has to go and will get a pull up out of the closet or wherever I have tried to hide it that day.  She is toilet trained for urination. Last week we tried the "no pull up method", but she would go a little in her pants everyday and hold it whenever we made her sit on the toilet.  She has prunes every other day at lunch time so she is not constipated, just holding it.  Today she was physically uncomfortable but still holding it so I gave in and put a pull up on her. She went immediately without a problem.  I've tried the rewards, stickers, prizes, she even watches a DVD while she sits, but I cannot get her to go on the toilet.  Today I saw how afraid she really is. She is non-verbal so I don't know what she is afraid of. She flushes the toilet upon urination without fear so I don't think it's that.  Any suggestions on how I can help her with this?

[iamsympatico]

My son is verbel and we still don't understand, so you are not alone. The whole in the pull up did not work for us as he was very aware of the slit in the pull up. I also tried it with swimmers as they are less absorbant but did not work. Still look for help on this too!

[mum2beagain]

Try allowing her to sit with the pull up on the toilet and do her BM in the pull up. Reward her for doing her BM whilst sat on the toilet. Once she gets used to doing this cut a hole in the pull up with scissors so the BM fall into the toilet, again lots of rewards and praise once she gets used to that you can try without the pullup.

Hope it goes well, I'm still having dificulties with urination and BM's with my nearly 4 year old, he will go on the toilet but still can't/won't tell me when he needs to go.

[vickiesmom]

Thanks for the advice.  I love the idea of the chart and picture because Vickie is so visual with everything and she loves to look at pictures.  I think this will help a lot.

[jandanette]

I have a 4 year old with autism.  She is afraid of having a bm, too.  Try posting a large, poster size "dookie chart" in the bathroom.  The chart should be categorized by month and day.  Put a smiley face on the chart on the date she goes and give her a sticker to put on it, too.  This serves two purposes.  It keeps up with bms and it allows the nonverbal autistic child to "see" her efforts.  Also, this sounds groce, but, tell her how proud you are when she does go to the commode, and take a photo of her next to the bm.  GIve her the picture so that she can be proud and she can remember.  No matter what, it will be a challenge.  But, those suggestions have helped us.  We do this along with Milk of Magnesia to soften the bms.  We're going to start a new medication today-Amitiza-on advice of her gastroenterologist-we'll see how it goes.  On the bright side of things, at least she'll go when she has on a pullup.  That's so much better than not going at all.