can you out grow autism characteristics?

[mich03]

Hi,
My 4 year old son has language/comprehension delays, senory issues and is hyperactive. He plays well w/ other kids,imaginary play,gets along,argues fights w/ his older brother (at times) can write his name,knows some nursery rhymes.He gets speech at school (and outside) and OT at preschool.
he is on an IEP plan. He continues to make progess each and every day.No problems w/ affection,great eye contact.. I would say he's like a year behind his peers (comprehension/maturity) my concern is he does some quirky "sensory" things at times. when playing w/ another child he sometimes gets exited walks or jumps away,rubbing his hands up and down his legs making a humming noise or rasberry noises then goes back to playing w/ his little friend..while watching TV he has a hard time sitting still..He needs to rock,or he jumps up and down on couch, or sits upside down. I don't see it very often but occasionaly he will do that hand flap thing when excited or mad.he use to have auditory sensory things too. At walmart he'd tell me to shut the refridgerators off or if we went into a noisy gymnasium he'd block his ears (he seems to have settled into noisy situations much better)he has no problem wearing clothes but prefers to be in his underwear. he strips down every day after school to his underwear, have to cut all tags off shirts. very picky eater.
No Professionl has ever mentioned the word autism to me. The more I read some of these issues are clearly characteristics of autism. does that make him some where on the spectrum? Or does he just have sensory issues(alone)? I think that there is noway my son could be autistic but I can't help but wonder w/ these quirky sensory things he does and can he out grow them as he gets older?? will he continue to rock while watching tv into his adulthood?
We do have an appt to see Neurologist in Jan. b/c I felt as I was not getting anywhere w/ my Pediatrician.(he was not concerned) It makes me wonder if I'm being a paranoid nut, or has my son flown under the radar all this time and nobody has picked up???

[sarah256]

i wld just like to say that is the best thing iv ever read, how true is eveything u hav put in to this,everythn u hav said is happening with my son, my son is 9 years old nd i hav struggled the last 8 and a half years with him, i love him for who he is, i no in my heart that my son has alot of the signs of autism, i had a cascade meeting last wk, and their respons to me that day was, if we had of did our tests 4 yrs ago we wld now be telling you ur son is autistic, but because he is making progress and even though his scores r showing boarderline average, hes fine, and my instincts r telling me, no way will i let this drop.how can they tell me if it was 4 yrs ago he wld be seen as autistic, an now hes just a puzzle, they dnt no wats wrong with him, im so confused and hurt, and i also feel like the proffesionals think am jst making half of it up jst because he dosnt hav tantrums at school and he has 3 friends, im at a my witts end and dnt no wat m,y next step will be.

[rainshock]

i dont think he is autistic , autism is an issue where person shuts off the real world into their own , at least thats how i see it . i believe your child might be  G.T. ( gifted and talented ) http://www.nsgt.org/articles/index.asp
check this out , it night help

[mel9161]

I've got goosebumps. Truly. What you shared was enlightening and inspiring. I agree with Mutti. You should write. Let everyone see how you rock.

[mutti]

You're welcome.Thank you for sharing your insight.It feels like a privilege. I feel that I understand my sons and know them very well, but I can't know how they feel or what their experience of Aspergers is like for them.  Have you ever thought of writing a book? That would be one way you could
'take people's brains and zap them, force them to see, allow them to walk a mile in your shoes.'

I mean just write the way you have done, here on this forum, say what you want to say about your own  experience of Aspergers, in your own way.
Your book would be a valuable and informative piece of information for parents of children with Aspergers. It would offer a unique insight, a view or an angle that people without Aspergers can't get.Bye for now, best wishes and a big hug! From Mutti

[Mozartcowgirl]

if you want to know more.. more specific things... about growing up with apsergers.. just ask me. you can email me if you want to .. Mozartcowgirl at m s n dot com.  by specific.. i mean things like leaving home.. whats he thinking..lol... well. ok anything..lol.. take care.. god bless!!  and Mutti.. thankyou  so much!!

[Mozartcowgirl]

ok .. im going to be totally honest with you . my teen years sucked. i was the outsider.. everyone thought that i was "weird" strnge... peculiar.. etc etc...most kids that age were just stupid.. they had no idea what they were doing.. when they left me out of things.. called me names.. and just thought i was a wierdo.  I made really great grades in most subjects.. and in one subject.. i was horrific.  i just didnt understand HOW to do the type of math we had to do.. i just didnt get it.. had i had a better teacher.. one who understood me .. or even tried to understand me.. then i think things would have been better.. i angered my band teacher.. because i could play so many musical instruments.. she felt threatened.. why. i have no clue.. she wouldnt let me change instruments .. EVER.. even though i played the others much better... even when the new year started.. she wouldnt.. she hated me.. despised me.. called me a show off.. socially.. i just didnt "get" the whole fad thing.. the whoel group thing.. cruising... dating.. i was more into my school work.. and outside work.. studying and reading... being by myself... it seemed .. and still does today.. that i just dont like being around alot of people.. they always end up calling me names. .talkingabout me behind my back.. telling me that the way in which i think is strange.. or morbid.. or that i have no boundaries.. that i am too smart for my own good.. and why have i wasted my intelligence.. and why if i  have perfect pitch do i not have a job that entails that.. that i am strange.. that when i rock.. its wierd..

i like to rock.. it comforts me.. when i shake my head.. i like it.. when i do the things i do.. its becuase i am me.  screw the people who think i am not normal.. BECAUSE I AM NOT!! i LOVE who i am .. i embrace it.. i think its awesome that I can do things and can think in ways others cannot.. why be normal!!!!! having aspergers is really really really really hard.. i have scratched and fought to be where i am .. and people still think i am a whacko. i am over joyed that i have read and read and read and read .. i know MORE>. i SEE more. i UNDERSTAND things like most do NOT.  i sense things others do not..

your child might have a difficult start.. but in the end.. he will see everything and accept it for what it is.. i think its harder on a parent who is afraid for the child..

i bet he will go through more than other "normal" kids.. it will only make him stronger.  i bet he is soo talented..
I have 7 children... and they dont think i am wierd.. they love me to death.  we have a great time together.. you want to know why?? i gave birth to them.. they have been around me since day one.. they think other people are weird.LOL...

on another note.. i still struggle with certain things... im in school right now.. and wouldnt you know it... i was absent today becase i had a doctors appoitnment.. later.. i went to school.. and everyone was leaving.. and i fouind out through a student that the "cliche" people were talking negatively about me... it hurt.. alot... here i am ... 37 years old.. and the same thing that happened to me when i was 5. is still happening.

in alot of ways.. people see those with aspergers as showoffs.. as lecturers.... as people who are too smart for their own good.   they see them as peculiar.. as just different..
just because i rock in the shower... just because i have a melt down when a train blows its horn.. just because certain things make me a certain way.. just becuse i dont understand social situations.. just because i see things differently.. etc etc etc etc.. does not make me less of a human.. i have feelings.. maybe not like everyone else.. but have them.. I DO>  
most of the time i accept that i cannot see through things the way most do.. sometimes.. i dont.. because to me.. its not fair.. that others do not see the things i see.. my way.  i wish i could take peoples brains and zap them. force them to see.. allow them to walk a mile in my shoes.

your son will go through more.... please do not coddle him.... let him make mistakes.. my mother NEVER>. and i mean NEVER ( unless i was sick) coddled me when it came ot my aspergers.
i am a much better person today because of her.. she let me see the world for what it is..and how people can be.  

she used to tell me.. that you will only have a few REAL friends your entire life.. and you know what..she was right.. the bonds that your son makes.. throuhgout his life.. will be lifelong ones..
trust in your son.. be strong with him..when the world gets you down.. pick yourself up.. he will do the same.. show him that you can be a strong role model.. tell him like it is.. love him.. hold him high.... allow him to bloom.. let him take his talents as far has he wants.. allow him to cry.. let him get angry.

i have to force myself to act normal at times.. it sucks. my professor told me something today.. and it really made sense... she said. .never EVER let anyone dictate who you are.  

i am weird.. i am strange.. i am peculiar.. i am a rocker.. i am a freak.. i am me.. i am proud. maybe not when i didnt understand it all when i was much younger.. but now.. i say it loud.. i say it too all that have the ability to hear.. and if i have to .. i sign it to those who are deaf.  

[mel9161]

I have to say that when I read your post, it made me cry.

My 9-year old son has Asperger's & until he was diagnosed, I had never even heard of it, let alone knew anyone else with it.
My greatest concerns these days is what life will be like as he gets older. How difficult will it be for him? I'm his Mom, I instinctively want to help to make it easier for him. I've never met an adult with Asperger's. If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? Were the teenage years very difficult? What advice, if any, would you give? I hope you don't mind all my questions. I'm just very curious about your input since you've been through it already.  Thank you in advance for anything you'd be willing to share.

[mutti]

That is a good way to look at life. People should accept other people as they are and not  try to change them. If they can't accept them the way they are, then they should either agree to differ, or  just walk away.
I have four sons and two of them have Aspergers and I love them the way they are, because they wouldn't be who they are if they didn't have Aspergers.
True, their lives would be easier if they didn't have Aspergers, but I just can't imagine them any other way.  They are fantastic to me the way they are. Without Aspergers they wouldn't  be the clever, kind, affectionate  people they are now.  You have a good out- look on life. Best wishes from Mutti  

[Mozartcowgirl]

I have aspergers.. I have to say.. that you dont out grow the characteristics.  I HIDE them sometimes.... because i have to in certain situations.. and many times.. i end up leaving the situation because i find it incredibly hard to do so.  I act the same, my mannerisms are the same..i think the same...as i always have.... i feel the same.. the things that bothered me when i wa s a child.. still do. i still rock.. i still have social problems.. .. and am the same.. ... if people accept me for who i am .. then thats great.. if they dont.. there i go .. free and easy down the road i go..lol..

[cnhgilbert]

Look up sensory processing disorder.  My nephew has this, and it is NOT autism, although it does share many of the same sensory issues as autism.  I would go more with SPD, rather than autism based on what you describe.  However, taking him to the nero.  is a great idea!

[mich03]

thanks for the response..yes my son has always had good eye contact and responded to his name. WE know that he has delays and sensory issues.also,i would not be shocked w/ a adhd diagnoses some day too. his preschool teacher (who is a sped teacher) even said to me he's a puzzle.i know they(teachers) can't diagnose but if they thought he was autistic i would think/hope they'd make me aware of their concerns??? he def has sensory issues (think that's why one would question autism) but the rest does not add up or make sense..can he just have sensory intergration issues alone?? loud noises use to bother him,when other kids sang at school he got upset (auditory processing thing?) but now at 4 i notice he adjusts much better,since his speech is improving he actually tries to sing along..he doesn't appear to be as sensitive as last year (he's come a long way since he started speech and OT) again thanks for responding. this is all new to me and i just want to be prepared and cover all bases to make sure I am doing everything that i should be for him...

[nurse1973]

He sounds as if he is high-functioning but as the mother of two autistic sons, the way you describe him sounds very much like a child with autism.

My boys both hated tags and refused to allow them in their shirts. Very finicky eaters. My son can't stand the vacuum or air planes. They are very sensitive to loud noises. I have a 12 yr old diagnosed before age 3 that jumps when he is happy and even now when he is very excited will jump while talking or excited. Autistic children can also suffer with ADHD. My boys are ADHD as well. That explains some of the other behavior. The eye contact thing has me a bit stumped. Most children have to really work on that when they are diagnosed and in time it gets better but most don't start off with good eye contact. Does your child respond when you say his name? Most when very young don't glance up when called. They hear but don't respond.  I think your son due to him not being severely autistic perhaps might have fallen through the cracks. Don't think your paranoid. I had someone say that to me when my second son was doing similiar things. You are just too paranoid! He is fine! He was diagnosed at almost age 4 but all along, I KNEW. I had been through it once and just knew the signs. We must never underestimate our instincts as parents.

Neuro is the first stop and then if normal, you are referred to a developmental pediatrician. You should have an Autism Division in your area and if so, I would call them myself and ask if they can test him. They do something called the CARS. Your son would get a score and that would indicate if he were autistic or not and how severe or mild it was. It's knowing early and getting early intervention that makes all the difference! Don't take no for an answer if you think something is wrong it most likely is.

Hope that helps!