does my2and a half year old have aspergers

[vida619]

my 11 year old brother has aspergers and dispraxia and i have started to notice that my son displays some of the behavioral problems that my brother does. he has no concern for others feelings unless he thinks its him you are upset with. he has a very short attention span and is only interested in his toys,he is very obsessive about tv shows and character figures! he cannot hold a spoon properly to feed himself and has trouble drawing, he can only scribble with felt tips because he cannot assert enough pressure on pencils and crayons,he falls over alot aswell. he never listens to anything you say and i have to repeat simple comands about 5 times before he listens, he bangs his head on the floor and hits himself if he is upset,i cant potty train him because he still does not identify with feeling the need to urinate and cannot tell me where he feels hurt or achey if he is ill. he is also very agressive and spiteful. am i just being paranoid or should i speak to my h/v?

[Sally44]

I know it's hard thinking about the diagnosis.  You were probably concerned about the possibility of having a child with autism before you got pregnant as it is in the family.  I had a similar situation as I have an older sister with learning difficulties.  Before my son was born I was assured that the possibilities of my child having learning disabilities was no different to anyone elses.  However, since my son has been diagnosed as being on the spectrum I've been told countless times that the more conditions there are within a family (eg. autism, learning difficulties, depression, mental health etc etc), the greater the chances are of one of your children having one or a combination of those difficulties.  Don't feel guilty about it.  Now that he is born, I am sure that if you had known your son would be on the spectrum before he was born it would have made no difference to your decisions.  But no-one has a crystal ball.
As you already have Aspergers in the family you should have a greater understanding of it.  I have been told that Tony Attwood has written some good books.
I would advise joining a parent support group, especially one where the children socialise together.  You will get lots of info from other parents.
Also get in touch with the National Autistic Society as they have lots of resources, information and helplines.
Probably the biggest thing you will need to get sorted and be happy with is his education.  He will be at nursery soon and he may need extra supports or services, or may need to attend a special nursery.
Remember that your child is unique and not a carbon copy of your father or brother.  He will develop and grow and achieve things.  There will always be certain things that he struggles with, but there will also be things that he is brilliant at.

[vida619]

thats what i thought, my dad also has aspergers and my brother is being tested for fragile x which is a hereditary,thats one of the main reasons im concernered! thank you for your input x

[Sally44]

If you have concerns then I think you should raise them.  Your child is just at that age when his social side should be starting to emerge.  There is a higher incidence of autism/aspergers within a family that already has at least one other person diagnosed, so there seems to be some genetic link, although lots of other factors are also believed to play a part.
If your child is on the spectrum then the earlier he begins therapies and supports the better the outcome.  If he isn't, then you know everythings okay.