Baby Dust Buddies - TTC and Pregnancy after a Loss User Group
Copping and Feeling lost
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Our TTC and Pregnancy after a Loss Group is a Public Group for women to share their conception journeys after a miscarriage. From starting over after a loss; surviving the two week wait; dealing with a BFN; celebrating the coveted BFP and making it through nine months of worry. Baby dust is sprinkled joyfully and liberally all around.

Founded by bam1014 on September 25, 2009
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Copping and Feeling lost

Hi there... I'm 25 yrs and i'm having trouble coping with all of the things that has happened to me through the years. In 2008 i lost my daughter @21wks pregnant and now in march 2010 i lost my son @25wks. Its been so hard these past months that i feel very hopeless of any good happen to me. Does anyone have any ideas on how to cope with all of this.
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7 Comments
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1145691_tn?1291481938
Aw sweetie I'm so sorry for your losses! That would be super hard I'm sure! I lost one @ 12 weeks and that was hard to deal with too, so I kind of know what you are going through though I wasn't as far along as you. I know there are other people on this site (you'll find them on the cycle buddies chat in this forum) that have had losses later in the pregnancy as well. I suggest you start posting on there because it is a great place to vent your feelings and it really helped me get past my anger and frustration to be able to talk to others who have been in the same situation.
Good luck to you and I hope for great things in your future :)
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1131112_tn?1321043773
OMG!!!!!!!! I can't BEGIN to imagine how you feel!! I lost my first last Dec. at 11 weeks and my last one in july at 10 weeks. They both almost killed all hope in me, I can't imagine being as far along as you were and knowing the sex of them! My heart is breaking for you as I'm writing this! There is no way to tell you how to "cope", staying busy and planning things like game nights and mini vacations or day trips to places was the only thing that helped me. Also, the world we live in is sick and full of sin and murder and heartbreak. Death is a part of lives from the moment we're conceived. I know how it feels to feel like nothing good is coming your way but I'm sure you have things some mother's would kill for. I'm thankful for my home  we own, a family that loves me, friends and my husband, I can't imagine my world without him and I know those are things that are huge blessings and not everyone has them! I think all the time "why me? why do "they" get to get knocked up at 15 and no prenatal care and have a healthy baby, or didn't know they were pregnant and drank all 9 months and the baby came out just fine. It makes me soooo angry! Words can't express. Good will come your way!! Hopefully sooner than later! (FOR me too!!) My good friend and her husband tried 14 years to conceive and had 3 mc's (one preg. was triplets) She adopted 2 children(who were not easy kids) and gave up on her own and at 14 years she coneived and delivered her daughter. I'm not telling you this to make yout think you have 12 years to go but I'm telling you good things happen, just not on our watch and in our time frame. We plan out our lives and it never goes quite that way. Find a way to treasure the blessings you do have and enjoy the life and breath you have! Our miracles are coming! Don't lose hope!
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry . . . I can't imagine the pain and hurt of a loss so late in a pg :(  There are some truly wondeful women here in this group all willing to be supportive.  We have all had losses, so to some extent we all know the devastation.  Feel free to post, vent, share your feelings.  Some ladies like to write poems and share those.  Jump on the cycle buddies thread too for some encouragement.

Lots of women put together a little memorial for their lost ones as a sense of closure.  You can google pregnancy and infant loss and find all sorts of things, including charms, jewlery, candles, etc.

My heart goes out to you; ((((((BIG HUGS)))))))
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693804_tn?1304724074
Hi, welcome to our group. I'm so sorry to hear  of your losses, I feel your heartache as I have endured 5 losses myself, one at 5 months along which today is the 2 year anniversary of. I wish I had a magic pill that would make the pain go away but in reality we need to face it. I had my son cremated  to keep him close to me and when my time comes he'll go with me, I also have a memory box with all the things that we're memories of him, hpt, u/s photos, photos after he was "born", trinkets and a letter that I wrote to him. I also find comfort in talking about the expierence even though it hurts. I joined MH 2 yrs ago and have made many wonderful friends that have helped to make this journey a little easier. I found that having people that understand makes sharing much easier. Please feel free to post anytime and like the other girls said, jump on the cycle buddies thread anytime. We look forward to getting to know you.

((HUGS))
~Lori~
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Avatar_f_tn
I read your comment to Shary1161 and I got to say thank you because I've been feeling a lot of anger about my recent miscarriage.  I was telling my husband the same thing yesterday.  Why does she get a healthy pregnancy- she didn't even want to get pregnant!  I did want to get pregnant- I was ready.  But you're right.  Things don't happen on our watch.  Thanks for sharing your comments.  It's nice to know there are other people out there who can understand me.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am with you sister, I lost my beautiful little girl Wed. Nov. 24th. She was absolutely perfect for her gestational age (20 weeks). The timing was perfect for her and I can't believe she's gone. It's crazy but I know she wants me to continue to try and have a family but i feel sad. I want her.... it's hard to think of other babies when she's been such a blessing. Besides losing her, the pregnancy was wonderful. She's my second loss and the first one was so very traumatic and I still have physical ailments from delivering him (endometriosis) although I have not had any syptoms (symptoms) since my recent pregnancy. This second little Angel of mine has brought me such joy and relief I would not doubt if the endometriosis is gone forever.
.
I have two angels now but honestly my little girl is truely a blessing. I'm disappointed to have lost her but the thoughts of everything she's given me is beyond measure.
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Avatar_f_tn
HEY GUYS I AM NEW HERE AND JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO.  i AM TRYING TO CONCEIVE AND HAVE BEEN TRYING WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER.  I FOUND THIS SITE 2 DAYS AGO AND IT FEELS GOOD TO SUPPORT OTHERS AND HAVE SUPPORT MYSELF. IT HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR ME . I HAD AN IVF BACK IN oct AND WHEN THEY DREW MY BLOOD THEY HAD SAID THEY SAW SOME HCG IN IT. BUT APPARENTLY I WAS'NT PREGNANT ANYMORE WHEN THEY TOLD ME ABOUT THE HCG BEING IN MY SYSTEM. oRIGINALLY I HAD WENT IN BECAUSE I HAD STARTED BLEEDING.  i GUESS IT WAS MY FAULT REALLY. i JUST DID'NT WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, HEAR THEM TELL ME IT WAS NEGATIVE. AND STILL NOW I FEEL THE LOSS OF SOMETHING I DID NOT EVEN KNEW I HAD. SO SOMETHING WAS THERE AND TAKEN AWAY...SO I GUESS GRIEF AND CONFUSSION. I WAS SO MAD AT THE WORLD,,, I EVEN STOPPED THE CLASSES I WAS DOING IN COLLEGE, I JUST COMPLETELY GAVE UP. I FELT SOOOO LOSST. i EVEN HAD A ON LINE SUPPORT GROUP BUT I STOPPED GOING TO IT, IT WAS OK, THERE WERE ALOT OF NICE PEOPLE THERE. BUT IT SOMEHOW DID'NT FEEL IT WAS WHERE I SHOULD BE. I THINK THIS IS WHERE I SHOULD BE THOUGH? WELL GIRLS THANKS FOR LISTENING. I WILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON. I WANTED TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I BEGAN A LITTLE PROJECT, I BEGAN WRITING IN MY JOURNAL (it is the first time i've done this)EVERYDAY,about what i think what i may have gone through that day BUT IT IS MY GOAL TO LEAVE..AT LEAST ONE POSITIVE THING A DAY. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOUR DAY MAY BE, AND I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN IN. IT MAY HELP YOU AND US JUST A ITTLE, A FEW PEOPLE LEFT COMMENTS ALREADY AND THE COMMENTS WERE BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRATIONAL TO US FOR OUR HEARTS AND FEELINGS. SO YOU GUYS FEEL FREE TO CHECK IT OUT. FOR THOSE OF US WITH LOSS, GOD HAS US IN HIS CRADLE, SO BE CALM AND KNOW THAT OUR LIL ANGELS ARE WITH US EVERDAY. aND WHEN YOU LAY AT NIGHT I KNOW YOUR FIRST THOUGHT  IS OF YOUR ANGEL & THEY HEAR US AND GOD WILL COMFORT YOU...
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