I'm really scared, can you help me

[SLadylani]

Hi, I am a 23 year old RN. No I don't have a psych illness and I'm only trying to diagnose myself because I'm so desperate. I have a low-income insurance that allows me to see a horrible primary doctor only once monthly and require referrals to see specialists, but she cannot seem to find the time to fax the referrals. I was recently hospitalized for a bowel obstruction at 23 y/o. i have had this problem for years, a GI history like no other, with no diagnosis. Also, on/off urinary incontinence and rectal bleeding when i used to be able to run, n/v, chronic periorbital headaches, chronic joint pain, neck/back pain, severe, paresthesias in my extremities, sweaty red palms, swollen lymph nodes in armpits and groin, recently diagnosised with MRSA again, under my skin-no lesion found-they said they thought it was in a gland...oh, im bedbound now. complete exhaustion. my mother and best friend think i am crazy as they have not seen me, i moved 6 months ago when this all started-i got a case of tonsilitis-my first case-that would not go away and just never recooperated. im a rrecovery anorexix/bulimic, previously all my problems were blamed on that and everyone promised i would feel better if i gained weight, but i knew i would feel worse, and i do. horrible sweating, night sweats, hot flashes. i can no longer leave the house and my phone died. i went the the ER yesterday and begged for help but the doctor said to wait to see my primary. I have a positive ANA-autoimmune test. H/O lupus in family... grandmother died at 50 from pneumonia?! I was thinking Multiple sclerosis with myleopathy in the cervical area, as i have an inverted c-spine. but i find it odd that my friend from my eating disorder treatment, with my same story, just died from lymphoma. i dont know what to do. if someone can give me a diagnosis, at least i can tell my family/friend so they beleive im not psychotic. I am just an RN they say, the doctors know best...of i have had a clonus since i was bulimic-they told me it would go away. but it hasnt. currently i give myself enemas every 3 days, i urinate once daily, i sweat constantly or am freezing, tremors, twithing, my right leg fell asleep for a long time for no reason, severe neck paion speading down my arms and shoulder blades-i sleep on the floor if at all, severe low back pain severee knee pain-my joints feel frozen-icy hot all over my body is the only thing that works anymore...I swear I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING, please can someone help? I will do my best to help you in return, as I do know a lot about medicine, i love medicine, was a hospice nurse, and dream of going to NP school

[SLadylani]

Oh my goodness. Well they know its your spine. How long did it takie for them to find all that out? And you said your young, was that right? I just got the xrays of my cervical spine which showed kyphosis and from there one smafrt doctor wanted to follow up with mri's and further xrays, but he wasn't expected by my insurance so i couldnt afford it by him and whats more missed my appointment lasst week as i was really sick/homebound...I made it outside today and am at starbucks right now! I woke up feeling a little bit better, I got a new/working phone, so at least I have that, some groceries, and coffee! And the pain is so far tolerable! I'm just dreading tomorrow in case I feel like crap again. Thanks for your post!

[atonicat]

I'm in pain management and they don't know the exact cause of my pain. I have arthritis, a herniated disk, DDD and stenosis so they do not know which one is causing pain. So they try different injections into different parts of my spine. So you don't always have to have a firm reason for pain to see a pain doctor.

[SLadylani]

Ya, the MD said there was nothing he could do for me and that if I went to that hospital again, they probably wouldnt even see me. He thought I was drug seeking, so he was surprised when I didnt even ask for a prescription. He told me to seek care at a pain clinic. I still feel like in order for me to do that, someone has to identify the cause! And if tests already show that i have some type of neck and low back problems, could someone please follow up!!! I have/had neuro symtpoms which were and are really scary to me, and the pain is, I can't describe it. It's hard because in my profession and major, Hospice, palliation is ewverything I fight for, and whats going on in my life is everything I fight against.

[atonicat]

You're welcome. I hope everything is going ok. Let me know what happened!

[SLadylani]

Thanks for all your support, you're so sweet. I just e-mailed my mom to call 911 to take me to the ER. I just broke down in tears. I cant take the pain and started to vomit. I cant drive myself. I just have to hope that may be there will be someone there who will hear me this time, or if not, at least be willing to provide me temporary relief. Thank you again, so much, for your support. Hopefully I wont come home pissed off, or worse yet get put in a psych ward!

[atonicat]

I'm in Vista. So we are not too close but not too far. I have chronic pain from different spine problems and I'm only 27 so I know how difficult it is to get someone to listen to you. It's taken me two years to get where I am (Pain Management) but I'm only being treated for the pain. I have a host of other symptoms that no one seems to care about. I'm not sure how low income insurance works (is it like medicaid or something?) but if you can, see if you can get a referral to a rhuemtologist. I saw one at UCSD a few months ago. She didn't seem too concerned with my symptoms, but she was also like 12! It seems like once I mention that I have chronic pain, they just think all my symptoms are from that.

Have you considered going to another hospital? Palomar is Escondido is supposed to be pretty good. To me it sounds like you have some sort of C spine problems probably dealing with the nerves, hence the headaches, pain and numbness. The other symptoms could be due to something like Lupus, RA or another auto-immune disease. Something needs to be done. People cannot live like this.

[SLadylani]

Thank you so much for replying. I'm in Rancho Penasquitos. I got the doctor's full name at Poway's hospital because she did not treat me appropriately, and I am going to report her to the medical boards....I just need a diagnosis to show that my symtpoms were valid for her to be in negligence/malpractice...I just can't leave the house anymore, the pain in my legs and fatigue is too severe. I just don't know what to do.

[atonicat]

I don't have any advice besides go to the hospital. But since you've done that. I don't know. Your symptoms seem pretty hospital worthy. What part of SD are you in? I live in north county. We have a few clinics up here that might be worth a shot.