ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY

I I HATE BEING BODERLINE, CHRONIC DEPRESSIVE, AND BIPOLAR. I HATE IT SO MUCH. PDOC STARTED ME ON CYMBALTA 3WEEKS AGO TO HELP MY MOOD. I ALSO TAKE CELEXA, TOPAMAX, TRAZADONE AND KLONOPIN. I DID AND FELT WONDERFUL WHEN I STARTED THE CYMBALTA FOR ABOUT 2 DAYS THEN I STARTED FLIPING BACK AND FORTH FROM HIGH TO LOW. i LEVELED OFF FOR A FEW DAYS AND NOW I'M CRYING CAUSE MY THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN RACING ALL DAY AND I'M BACK IN MY PJ'S AND WANTING TO STAY IN BED FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS. I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION , I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING , JUST VENTING MAYBE.

[Amphitrite]

I'm so sorry you've been feeling so awful these past few days(weeks?) have you told your psychdoc? I think you should call him/her asap or if you feel you can waut on Tuesday since tomorrows a holiday..well I don't know where tyour from. It's a holiday in America.

But you should not have to feel like this and just dit with these feelings. You may need a med switch or a higher dose on something. Sometime it's hard to find the perfect med and it can take alot of time. But please just keep hanging in there and keep venting whatever you feel.
I don't blame you for how your feeling and hating all Bp, BPD and CD...if I were feeling so out of control of my feelings and taking meds that were supposed to be helping change that I'd be angry and pissed too.

But like I said, it won't last forever. Ther eare a TON of meds out there and it just takes times to find the right combo sometimes. Then when you do you'll just look back at this time and think how glad you are that things have changed.

If you need someone to talk to you are ALWAYS welcome to vent here and even PM me, sometimes you have to just get it all out of your head so you don;t have to keep holding onto it or letting it keep racing through your head. Anyway you can find to hit stop on that tape recorder that's jjust playing non-stop is worth it.

I'll be glad to see you vent again if you need it. Hang in there, people here really care and will help un any way.

Amd remember if you wanna vent or talk you can always PM me anytime:)

Amph

[toots8]

You sound so optomistic but I've had BPD, Cd, and just diagnosed bipolar last year all my life. I'm 51 now and have been on every kind of med out there. This BPD, keeps interfering with me getting well. I've been in therapy all my life too, and with my memory problems it was mostly repretition that got me through. It was very hard on my therapist and frustrating. I gave up last year. My dad died in june right before fathers day, my son was in iraq and couldn't come home at that time, Oh I guess all that doesn't even matter cause I'm still the same person with just more struggles. My mind is getting more and more confused and harder for me to control. I have really been into prayer now cause no one else can help me.  Still venting again today, sorry

[aber2]

I feel so badly for you. I agree with the other posts - you should call your doctor. It sure seems like a lot of meds to be on at the same time.  That could be what is making you feel so confused and making it harder to deal with the death of your father and with your son being in Iraq. I know about the memory problems 110% !!  I also am in my fifties and I have fibromyalgia and am perimenopausal just to make life interesting!!  The memory problems can be mostly attributed to those two things; at least I hope so. This perimenopausal stage in life is definitely not fun!!!
I think there is help for you along with prayer. There are some interesting and helpful books about mood disorders particularly BPD...One I am reading is called "Sometimes I Act Crazy...Living with Borderline Personality Disorder by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Strauss.  You might find it helpful. THERE IS HELP so don't give up.
Aber

[irishkat11]

My sister is also BP, and I can tell you that she has done well on Lithium Carbonate (straight Lithium was too hard on her system) and she has her mind and memory back.  She had to wean herself off of more meds that I can count because one crazy psychiatrist put her on so many meds that she couldn't remember what to take and at what time.  She tells me the fog has cleared and she now has the major depressive disorder to contend with.  She does isolate, and stays in her apartment for days at a time, but at least now she can focus on what's bugging her and she can react (almost) appropriately.  My heartfelt wishes that you feel better sooner rather than later; it takes forever to get the med issue straightened out.  My best,  Irishkat11