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Have you been diagnosed by a Psychiatrist or therapist? What kinds of tests were you given? Does your Dr know anything about DBT? It's a certain kind of therapy that's really the best kind for people that have borderline personality disorder.
Hi there. I've been aware of having BPD for 31 years and suffering most of it's problematic symptoms, some extremely dangerous. I was only officially diagnosed two years ago and that was a HUGE relief, consequently I have meds which help me and I'm in DBT therapy long term. 'remar' is right, DBT really is considered the best way forward for BPD, if not the only way forward. In answer to your question on web sites with info on BPD: Yes you can simply google it as I did, but I found a very good site founded in Australia which deals with every psych disorder known to man. I don't suggest you do as I've done and make '' cyber friends '', but I have to say that my '' cyber friends '' prove to be very supportive. This site is very good and you can gain support here you know! I wish you luck and hope you find a site which is right for you. Please come back and let us know how things are going! HUGS X
That's great news! I'm glad to hear your Dr knows about DBT. I hope you don't have to wait long to get started on the therapy.
My daughter is a member here at MH and she was just diagnosed with BPD a few months ago. I'll ask her to give you some info on coping skills.
Hi, i think I have BPD too.. i read some articles about personality disorders because i feel there's something wrong with my emotional stability.. my situation matches with most of bpd indications.. i haven't told this to my family that i might have bpd.. i feel ashamed at myself.. i live in jakarta, once i tell people around me that i go to a therapist, they will think that i'm crazy.. I'm 23 yo now and i'm still struggling to get my bachelor degree.. i hope u can share the way u cope w/ BPD.. thx in advance..
Hello sunshine and I hope you are good today! There are books you can buy or maybe download onto an ebook type thingie (sorry I don't use these), about BPD. There are also some great websites where you can make ''friends'' who have BPD, but you need to be so careful as I'm sure you know. The meds I have are for mood stabilisation, this is my most severe symptom - mood swings. They are not specifically for BPD as yes, you are right, there are NO actual drugs for BPD. I take Depokate and quetiapine. They do go under other names but are all the same thing, they are really for epilepsy but they have been proved a very good mood stabiliser. These work for ME, but meds are a personal thing. What works for me may not work for you, or indeed may make you worse. Good luck hunting for help. DBT working on a one to one basis is def the way forward and the treatment of choice these days. HUGS XX
Hi I have just been diagnosed with bpd. I don't really have any coping strategies as of yet my self. I am still learning about and trying to figure out how I can help myself. I will let you know any information that I find. I can relate to how you are feeling I don't want anyone to know that I have it either.
Glad to know that you have support from your friend :) As for myself, I don't think my family will understand my problem. I know that I can't handle abandonment so I don't have any close friend. I think I'm not worthy enough to be kept in someone's life because I'm replaceable. Once they know that I'm not good enough they will leave me. I tend to be clingy to people whom I care about and it will push them to leave me. So, I create certain distance towards people around me. Lately the distance is quite far. I feel that I'm good in ignoring people. Some of my friends did ask me whether I have problem. But I don't trust them enough I feel that it's just a polite gesture not a real concern. I'll be more open emotionally to a stranger or "cyber" friends because I know that I won't feel that bad if one day their gone.Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness and emptiness. When I can't handle it, I will reminisce my bad memories, think negative things and crying alone. I know that it's wrong but I don't know how to control it. I'm still trying to finish my study. I'm 2 years late compare to my uni friends. Writing my final report is kinda painful for me so I avoid/ procrastinate it. My family and people around me see me as someone who's smart. My academic record isn't bad and I'm good in hiding my true emotion to people to whom I don't feel close. Lately I think about my future quite often. I'm not proud of my future, I feel lost. I wanna change but I don't trust myself. One day I decide that I want to change but on the other day it would become an empty promise.
I can understand how you are feeling I go through the samething. It is hard to trust people. I have a fear of being abandoned as well. You are not replaceable you are unique and loveable and the world would be the same with out you. I know its hard belive I understand. Please try and hang in there and not be to hard on yourself. I wish they was a way that I could help you. It breaks my heart to know that someone else feels as badly as I do. Do you feel comfortable talking to you family doctor? Maybe they can refer you to counsellor. I hope knowing that I understand helps. Hoping you are having a good day.
Thx. Being able to share it to someone who understands it is relieving. No, we don't have a family doctor. I know the cause of my problem. I experienced physical abused from my dad since I was a kid. He would have hurt me physically if I'd made him angry. And I saw him hit my mom for several times back then. My mom was so depressed. There was time when she felt disconnected to the outside world. It happened when I was a kid, I can't remember much but It still broke my heart. When I was in high school, he barely hit me because I created some distance. But I had to see him swearing and threatening to hit my mom or my family member if they made him angry. But he's quite respectable outside my family. He has good position know in his career. I feel ashamed at my past, I feel ashamed at my family, I feel ashamed at myself. And I can't tell to the outsider how my family's so messed up.
However, I'm still quite normal in interacting with others.Not having any difficulty in starting a convo with stranger, offering polite/kind gestures, joking. I have good academic records, not a typical loner. I also took part in student organization and basketball team in my school. But I did find trouble in maintaining any kind of relationship. Like I tend be a good and promising friend/collegue/ team member at first impression but I would screw it in the end. I would create distance eventually or being too clingy. I had several close friends which I can't maintain. Three years ago, someone whom I cherised as my close friend left me. I heard from my other friends that she thought that I'm gay. It's because I treated her too kind like I give her gifts or spare my time to helped her study. For me it was normal and no, I'm not a lesbian, I didn't have any sexual attraction towards her. Just I dunno, I feel comfort when I was near her. But she didn't understand. I overreacted when she created a distance, she started to change. It shook my comfort zone and I can't handle the feeling of being abandoned. My academic records started to fall. I threw my cumlaude candidate by failing one subject and started getting part time job. I tutored some students and got involved in some researches. I looked good and still promising. But no, those were my way in avoiding my campus. My campus somehow trigger my feeling of being abandoned by her. It makes me feel ashamed at myself. This semester is my last chance to finish my study in my uni. But I tend to procrastinate writing my final report and I've missed several sessions with my final report supervision. My parents still support me financially. I feel guilty towards my mom because she wants me to graduate soon yet I used her money to do others. No I don't do drug or illegal stuffs. I just love to spending time reading fictional stories but not in my room. There's a Starbucks near my house and I love spending my time there for this past 2 years alone. However, if my friend contact me to accompany them to eat or to shop together I'll be there. Since my uni friend left me, I'm quite submissive, I'll wait till others ask me to accompany them or do what I want alone. I did impulsive things but so far it's not expressing my anger or violent activities in public. I never tried to suicide. But I did think about it several times espeacially when I was overwhelmed by emptiness. It scares me tbh because who knows I will try it for real in the future. When the feeling of self-loath come, usually it ends up with an awful hours of self-pity crying, alone.
Btw, how can we build a trust in a therapist? I mean we pay her/him to cure us for 30-60 mins per session, they don't give us their concern sincerely. I still don't have a family which will support me or someone whom I trust and who's willing to be my support. I will embarrass my family when they know about this, my family from both sides of my parents see me as a smart and bright kid. My casual friends or future collegues will see me differently. They will prefer to be with someone who's normal, not like me. When I start to think like that, I will feel self-loath, lonely, and unworthy. It's a vicious circle.
Sorry, I know you have your own problem but here I am ranting about mine. I hope in the future you can share your story too. Maybe I'm younger than you but I do think that I'm a good listener. Thank you for reading this, I feel comfortable to share my story with you. Have a great day :)
I can relate to how you are feeling. I hate myself and have a fear of being abandoned. Most of the time I feel like I am unwanted and like I do fit in. I hate you I am. I wish I could just be normal. I am sorry that you don't have anyone to support you with this.
I was sexually abused at the age of eight and it ended when I was 16. I also grew hope in a home that was very abusive emotionally and verbally. I am still dealing with the emotional and verbal abuse. I have a hard time trusting people. I know what you mean when you say your family will be embarrassed when they findout. I also suffer from depression, anxiety and ptsd and when my family found out there were very embarrassed to be honest they still are. It hard and it ***** that we have to go through this alone. I wish people would understand that having a mental illness is any different then having cancer. Everyone needs support and to feel lilke they matter. I wish there was something that I could do to help you. I hope you are having a good day.
Be very careful with Depakote, as the side effect list is one of the longest I have ever seen with a medication. I gained fifty pounds on it in a matter of months, and you will have to undergo quarterly blood tests. It did work well for me, but the side effects became too much. I only take Wellbutrin and Clonipin now, along with something for tremors and pain (I have chronic Lyme's Disease, very disabling and quite painful at times). I used to take the big three, Depakote, Risperdal, and Zoloft. Three expensive and deadly medications. The Psychiatrist who wrote these prescriptions told me they would take "years if not decades" off my life!!!! The biggest help I have found are boards like this where we can compare symptoms and life stories. It shows me what is truly BPD caused and what is more a trait of my own. I just try to work on my behavior each day, understanding I have a problem that is very noticeable to those around me. Most view me as one of the most dedicated friends they have ever had, and the one person that they would never want to have mad at them. In sports I was about as competitive as a guy can get, with a win at all cost mentality. Because it's hard to handle emotions with this disorder, I got so heavily into drugs and alcohol I lost everything. I am completely clean now, about 7 years so far. All I take is just enough oxycodone to alleviate the worst of the Lyme Disease pain. I could get prescribed as much as I want, but I only take 20mg a day.
Thanks for offering your help. It means a lot to know that there r some people who understand what I feel and don't judge me. I feel sorry because you have bad experiences too. I wanna know more about how to handle it. Since you're already in the DBT waiting list maybe someday you'll able to share your experience. Have a great day :)
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