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Help/Suggestions
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Help/Suggestions

Hi all, my friend was just diagnosed Stage III.  All of her friends from around the country want to support her but don't know the best ways.  Can you tell me what are some of the things your friends and family did that helped you cope/made you laugh/strengthened you?  Are there things you need day to day that we can send? Are there things that aren't good...for instance is sending food bad because you get so sick during chemo?

Any guidance or suggestions are greatly appreciated.  Thank you and swift recovery and healthy days to you all.
Tags: help, help support
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1701267_tn?1307140960
Hi
Thanks for the query
Well the first thing you can do and think of is to never let your friend feel that he is sick or that he has cancer .Make sure you find ways for him to forget the harshness of the truth and also the draining side effects of the treatment he is undergoing and as a friend you must make sure he never feels lonely or unwanted.
Take care.
Wish you and your friend Good Health.
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739091_tn?1300669627
When I was going through treatment, there were times when I wanted to talk about it and times I really didn't. I worked every day through my chemo except for chemo day which I did on Fridays so it wouldn't interfere with my job. Then, the following week I'd make up my time and "bank" it so that it could be used for my next chemo day, with my employer's permission. Working, ie: keeping busy, kept my mind off the fact that I had stage 3 cancer that had spread to my nodes. If I had sat at home I would have worried myself to death. Food is a great thing to provide anyone going through treatments. The chemo I had along with EMEND antimetics meant that I didn't get "sick" during treatment though the first 3 days I was a little "icky". It's the SMELL of cooking food that makes one feel bad. Things you can do to help someone going through treatment are:
Offer to: do their grocery shopping, clean their kitchen or bath or house if you're feeling ambitious and kind. Treatment really makes the patient exhausted physically and the fear of cancer makes them exhausted emotionally. I remember once getting all the way through the grocery store, checking out and then having to sit down. It was all I could do to stand at the checkout. A few minutes later I pushed the buggy out to my car and stood at the trunk crying because I just couldn't lift the bags or do one more thing. A kind lady walked by and silently did it for me. I could have hugged her! I learned a huge lesson from her and to this day I will offer to help people who are obviously exhausted. Phone calls from friends and family can be burdensome at times. Please note I'm saying "at times". I am one of five kids and every week I had to go through my week with them over the phone one at a time and that's not including friends phone calls. But whatever you do, don't do what my brother did. He'd call me each week and ask me what my prognosis was. He really either didn't understand what he was asking or it's just a guy thing because emotionally it destroyed me to wonder just what my prognosis really was. I tried to avoid his calls. Do your friend/family the way you'd like to be treated. Email often but be chatty and not intrusive. Believe me, a simple how are you will either get you all the information you can handle or it will be a short answer that means "I really don't want to go through this conversation again" though they may not say that to you. Read the signals. Offer specific things you can help with and if you're really interested and can do this, organize other family/friends to get all the bases covered.

For me, it was so comforting that EVERYONE I knew had put me on the prayer list at their church which meant that there were people from around the world in my case praying for me. That gave me a warm feeling of hope in my heart. Be positive. Be supportive in whatever decision they make. And if you search on the internet, don't offer what you find unless they ask. Ha! That's the tough one... :)

And.. thank you for offering... really, anything you can do will be helpful. Best wishes.
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739091_tn?1300669627
When I was going through treatment, there were times when I wanted to talk about it and times I really didn't. I worked every day through my chemo except for chemo day which I did on Fridays so it wouldn't interfere with my job. Then, the following week I'd make up my time and "bank" it so that it could be used for my next chemo day, with my employer's permission. Working, ie: keeping busy, kept my mind off the fact that I had stage 3 cancer that had spread to my nodes. If I had sat at home I would have worried myself to death. Food is a great thing to provide anyone going through treatments. The chemo I had along with EMEND antimetics meant that I didn't get "sick" during treatment though the first 3 days I was a little "icky". It's the SMELL of cooking food that makes one feel bad. Things you can do to help someone going through treatment are:
Offer to: do their grocery shopping, clean their kitchen or bath or house if you're feeling ambitious and kind. Treatment really makes the patient exhausted physically and the fear of cancer makes them exhausted emotionally. I remember once getting all the way through the grocery store, checking out and then having to sit down. It was all I could do to stand at the checkout. A few minutes later I pushed the buggy out to my car and stood at the trunk crying because I just couldn't lift the bags or do one more thing. A kind lady walked by and silently did it for me. I could have hugged her! I learned a huge lesson from her and to this day I will offer to help people who are obviously exhausted. Phone calls from friends and family can be burdensome at times. Please note I'm saying "at times". I am one of five kids and every week I had to go through my week with them over the phone one at a time and that's not including friends phone calls. But whatever you do, don't do what my brother did. He'd call me each week and ask me what my prognosis was. He really either didn't understand what he was asking or it's just a guy thing because emotionally it destroyed me to wonder just what my prognosis really was. I tried to avoid his calls. Do your friend/family the way you'd like to be treated. Email often but be chatty and not intrusive. Believe me, a simple how are you will either get you all the information you can handle or it will be a short answer that means "I really don't want to go through this conversation again" though they may not say that to you. Read the signals. Offer specific things you can help with and if you're really interested and can do this, organize other family/friends to get all the bases covered.

For me, it was so comforting that EVERYONE I knew had put me on the prayer list at their church which meant that there were people from around the world in my case praying for me. That gave me a warm feeling of hope in my heart. Be positive. Be supportive in whatever decision they make. And if you search on the internet, don't offer what you find unless they ask. Ha! That's the tough one... :)

And.. thank you for offering... really, anything you can do will be helpful. Best wishes.
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