Well, Monday is the Day! Augh..I wish the weekend would last forever!

[Wessy]

Well, I just thought I would put this statement out into the universe so to speak...Since the very end of April (the 27th to be exact) I have been dealing with the possibility of having breast cancer. While doing a BSE, I SAW a dimple. There were NO lumps so to speak but a brand new dimple that was not there the month before. So, I called my gyn and she thought she felt something in the area of the dimple and sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound. I had that done and there was no notable abnormalities seen. But, due to the new dimple and tenderness in the area, my gyn. sent me to a surgeon. He stated that "more than likely I had lobular cancer" which is only 10% of  breast cancers and that it does not always show up on either mammograms OR ultrasounds. Horrible! So, anyway, I was told to get a breast MRI. When I went to schedule the MRI, the front desk clerk told me that I had to wait until my next period started (another whole month! I cried alot over that one). To make a looooong story short(er), the MRI is to be done this coming Monday! I am SOOOO scared and worried and can't sleep! My plan though is to really try to enjoy this weekend. I am having a big barbeque tonight and I planted my front flower bed with new and beautiful flowers this morning. No one in my family and especially NOT my 14 yr old daughter know about my possible diagnosis. My wonderful husband does and he is worried but is being the strong one. I can't seem to help myself, but I am constantly on the internet looking up "Other Reasons" for breast dimples but have not found any other than the indication of "advanced carcinoma". AUGH I am a nurse and have spoken with three of the doctors I work with and they say the same thing-"It is a classic clinical sign of bc".  Anyway, I am going to go now and stop this ranting. I hope all who reads this has a wonderful weekend as I know I will! I am going to stay off the internet too! (maybe) :)  
God Bless and Take Care!-Celeste

[healingwell62]

There is a book a friend of mine gave me that I am recommending to all the gals I'm meeting here that are in the waiting game.  It has a spiritual/God bent to it but is by no means a hugely religious book.  It's called "Seven Spiritual Gifts of Waiting: Patience, Loss of Control, Living in the Present, Compassion, Gratitude, Humility, Trust in God
by Holly W. Whitcomb"  I found it tremendously helpful when there was nothing I could DO!!!  So hard when there's nothing you can do.  Hang in there, Wessy!

Love,

Chris

[healingwell62]

I am keeping all of you ladies in my thoughts as you await answers.  It is an awful time, so many directions your mind can take you.  Focus on each day, and if that is too much, each hour. If that is too much, stick with the next five minutes.  Rest.  Stressful waiting is exhausting and you will care for yourself well if you take time to rest.  Take every opportunity to do kindnesses for yourself -- you deserve it.  Get a manicure.  Go for a walk.   By a new CD. Pamper.  Will be anxious to hear from you all about your results.

[frustratedrg]

I too am waiting for a biopsy scheduled for june 16th.  i am a prior bc survivor but due to a new cluster  of calcifications, i am scheduled for yet another biopsy.  the weird thing about all this is that since i found this site, i feel im not alone in dealing with this disease. it has helped immensely.  one thing i can say about the waiting is yes it is awful, but having dealt with this numerous times (2001 breast cancer) and since then, approx. 8 biopsies all of which have come out benign, i think i am learning that worrying doesnt help and all it seems to do is make you sick.  so, im trying very hard to take one day at a time and deal with everything one step at a time.

[Whatawoman]

I am so glad that your doctor was on the ball and despite the negative mamogram and ultrasound still pushed for more investigation.

I am new to this site -  only joined yesterday but I have not been able to stop reading peoples experiences and the support they have been given.

I have a lump/mass and I don't know if it showed on a mamogram but it did on the ultrasound (done on different days and I have not seen the consultant yet) I have a Mamo guided core biopsy booked for 13th June and I too am very scared and it is the waiting and the not knowing that is the worst...

How quicky will you get the MRI results?

Sending you poitive vibes and lots of inner strength and wishing you the best.
Helen

[Lois428]

Celeste,
I commend you for even noticing something different about your breast and getting it all checked out.  So many women never even notice when things change with their breasts.  Sounds like you and your doctors are taking the right approach. The breast MRI should give you some answers.  Unfortunately, I have found that mammograms only find some of the breast cancers.  
My prayers and thoughts are with you.  Keep us posted on what they find out.
Lois

[lhughes]

Good luck to you both, I hope neither of you has to face this dreaded disease.  Knowing that others have come before you and survived hopefully will give you some hope for yourselves.

I do hope and pray that all is well with you both.  I know the feelings and I know that the outcome, however terrible, can be faced and overcomed, God willing.

Take care and remember whatever happens is just temporary.  Life does go on with and without breast cancer.
Lisa

[Gator12]

My heart goes out to you, Celeste.  I know how you feel, as I had a mammo and ultrasound two weeks ago and don't have a biopsy scheduled to confirm the BIRAD 5 rating I received for the palpable mass discovered until June 9.  This site has provided me with so much information.  Kind posts to my original inquiry about the risk of time passing until biopsy confirmation has helped me rest much easier.  I, too, have kept myself busy with work, etc. but often my mind comes back to the potential of a bc confirmation in the coming weeks.  Nonetheless, a part of me holds out for a benign determination.   You having a young daughter makes the uncertainty and possibility far more threatening.  I have a grown daughter-she's handling her life well.  However, I have chosen to keep this to myself (and my husband) until I know for sure and my daughter has completed her current nursing school course (she's getting all A's and I don't want her distracted).    I am (obviously, I'm writing you) often on the Internet searching for some sign that might indicate a more positive outcome.  The waiting is the worst, as I've witnessed many women write on this site.  Once even a malignant determination is made, at least a plan can be developed and action taken.   Not knowing, one way or the other, is more difficult.  I hope your barbecue is most enjoyable and you enjoy the flowers as they take root and fill your gardens.  Most of all, I'll pray that you find the strength to deal with whatever the outcome, because it's out of your hands now.  You have many friends on this site.  Please keep us all posted as to the determination.  
Best wishes,

Paula