Please someone help

[Jay2305]

Okay, someone please help me. My mom refuses to go to the doctor. In fact she hasnt been to any doctor in the last three years. I'm 23 years old and my mom just wont listen to me. She recently is in so much pain, she can't get up without me helping her. Today, I had to help her out of bed, and I noticed that her one breast is black and blue and a large bump. I called her out on it, and she just said it is nothing. IT IS SOMETHING. Her mom died young, and I don't want my mom to leave me...I couldnt deal with it. Is this a sign of cancer? I need to find a way to get her to the doctor.

[katarina777]

Sometimes, saying the following will really help. Something like this: "Mom, you know I love you very much, and I know you love me, and I am worried about you, and it really hurts me that you are not taking care of yourself, and refusing to see a doctor. What  if I was the sick person and who is in pain, and you had to watch me in pain, and refuse to get help. How would you feel?"

[Amyray]

Sounds like you are a really caring good Kid taking care of a very stubborn Mom!  I have one of those also!  I think your Moms breast is worth going in to a Dr. to get checked out. Plus, the fact she is in so much pain is another reason she needs to get to a Dr.  But, I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.
Relax-Take a deep!  Because getting all upset is not going to help you---help her.  So, try to take another deep breathe in--------then slow breathe out.........when you exhale - feel as if you are exhaleing all the negativity out of your body.....practice that deep breathing as often as you can, it is really good for your body,........and whenever you are getting really stressed out.....Take A BIG breathe IN for 10 seconds (if you can) then hold it for 5 sec. then slow exhale for 10 seconds.  ....You can do that....5 times or more if needed.......and you should start to feel a little better and if you ever come into a  feeling that you are just losing it try that to do some deep breathing .......Now, back to .... I am not an MD., but I am pretty sure that your moms black and blue bump  is not a sign of cancer.  She may have fallen and it is swollen and black and blue from falling and it hitting the edge of the counter or something.  It does sound like you have your hands full.  Does she have a Main Dr. that she used to go to?  Or a general practitioner?  Or look on the internet for one close to where your mom lives...and keep in mind, that you want to make sure they take your Moms insurance/or medicare/medicade/or whatever  ....Make her an appt.  ASAP..(within the next day or so)  And then you tell her you made her an appt. and You are taking her.  You have taking off work to take her and she is going so she better make sure she is ready to go!  Or if you think she may disappear if you pre warn her of the appt.  Then just show up an hour and half before the appt. and tell her she is going!  And tell her how much she means to you. I would sometimes have to Cry my eyes out and put on a big show for my Mom to get her to go to the Dr. So, Cry, Beg, do what ever it takes.  Usually when I would cry and tell her how worried i was about her and i couldn't eat or sleep because i was so worried about her, that would get her to listen to me and she would let me take her to the dr. ----so hopefully that will help you.  I am praying for you. You are such a great person to be caring for your Mom.   And please, take care of YOU---also, please post, so we know how things are going with you! I will be praying for your Mom & you!

[lizzy100]

yea cant really say with the info you provide. if she hasnt been looking after herself it may be shes injured herself. why is she in pain? have u told her how your worried that she could die young like her mum and that u dont want to lose her, and see if she'll go to the docs for you? she has to realise its not just her life its affecting. is she depressed or sumthing or just a doctor phobia?

[kittyluv1]

Having a reluctant patient who also is your parent can be frustrating indeed.  Part of her fear in going to the doctor may be that she wants to avoid hearing any potential "bad news."   Unfortunately, by avoiding medical care she does put herself at risk for numerous conditions not just cancer.  The goal of medicine today is preventive care works much better as you avoid getting ill in the first place.
Based on the symptoms you described, it would be impossible to assess the cause of her bump and black and blue breast tissue.  Am I correct in assuming she has not had the yearly mammogram testing that is recommended?
Obviously her pain is a sign that something is wrong, but it would not be possible to isolate any particular disease process at this stage.  She really needs to be evaluated by a medical doctor.  Too bad the "house call" days are not still in place.
If you have assistance from another adult member of your family (preferably one she feels she can trust) it would be beneficial to enlist their help.
Once she has been evaluated the doctor can provide his treatment recommendations.
Best wishes ----