DESPERATE!!!!please help!!!!! cat memory loss? from abuse?

[mary607]

ok sorry about the mini story but you need to know a little bit about him----- so i am foster for this wonderful male orange tabby. he was badly abused. no one really knows the whole story but when i first picked him up from the vet techs house he was laying in the bath in his own urine not moving barely breathing unresponsive to anyone. the vet tech was injecting him so he stayed hydrated because he was not drinking or eating. she had him for 5 hours before i was asked to foster him. anyways i sat in the bath tub and started to massage his back and was all mushy gushy you know what im talking about. i got him to look up at me so i took him home because there was a connection. i have had him in my home for about a week now. i have finally gotten him to eat drink use the litter box allow me to cuddle him give him belly rubs brush him even a bath! so he has made huge progress.he still flinches when i first pet him but then he gets used to it and loves it! heres the problem....

big problem!!!---- i think he may have some brain issue. its like he forgets who i am. i will leave the room for 2 minutes to get a drink or use the restroom and will leave him on my bed just laying down relaxing where i had left him. i will leave my door open still talking to him and where my bathroom and fridge are he can hear it is not far maybe 5 feet from my room. then ill come back into my room with my hand out still talking to him and he will run. like he has forgotten i was just there. now-- i have also tried leaving my room door shut not talking and same thing. i just dont understand i leave him for not even 2 minutes! i tell him ill be right back ...when i come back and hes gone i dont go looking for him i wait for him to come back out on his own time.. i let him do things on his own time.

hes made huge progress so i am not rushing him to love me anything or having him adopted but i just hope he doesnt have a memory issue. he was abused and he didnt forget that because he is scared for a reason but why he is running from me and he has this look like do i know you on his face and when he is back on my bed it feels like he is meeting me for the first time he is very hesitant. i could be wrong ..... i dont know ... i feel so bad for him, i have fallen in love with this cat....i would keep him but my other cat does not like him at all :(
please help!!!

[Jade59]

Hi Mary!  I loved your post.  Happy ending for all!  Great job, Honey!

[mary607]

thanks! :)

[Piparskeggr]

A great Big Hoorah to you and the work you did with George alias Pinky. =)

Kitties have a better sense of who and what they can trust, I believe, than do we big people.  You showed him kindness and gave him a place without fear.

Good luck with the next one, too.

Take care - Pip

[mary607]

update*** he is a completely new and different cat!!! he has come out of his shell on the 4th he was out of the room all day roaming the house smelling everything. so i thought i might as well try to find him a home. so this one woman was interested in him who i knew very well. single woman one cat. her cat is very shy very friendly. i took him to her house not to far from mine. he sat on her sofa asking for tummy rubs got to know her while i was there. i stayed for a while just talking to her about him. the other cat came over was a little shy. so was pinky. she renamed him george. which is fine. very cute. i stood up went to the bathroom just to walk out of the room to see what would happen if i left the room. they were fine she was petting him he was loving it. so i left giving them a trial run together.now its the 6th of march a few days later. i have been sent pictures and texts and they are all a big happy family. very happy together. george has a new great home! i dont know why all of a sudden he went from hiding in a closet to being a turtle tank to roaming the house in a matter of 2 days. but i am glad to see him at a new house. i am seeing him in about a week just to say hello because i miss his cute face. he was a great cat!!! thank you all for your advice it was much appreciated!!! now onto another foster who i picked up this morning. lets see if we can help her :)

[mary607]

he came with the name pinky which i dont like but he seems to respond to it.. he actually has been coming out more and more and actually didnt run away this morning when i came into my room earlier. i was so happy i almost cried. i also found him sitting on my turtle tank which all cats love doing when they are at my apt which he has never done. i was thrilled! he was sitting down just watching the turtles relaxing. i think he is finally settling down. :) PROGRESS!

[Piparskeggr]

I think you can help this kitty.

Have you given him a Calling Name yet?

Cats are much like dragons, they have a Calling Name by which we know them, a Community Name by which other kitties address them, and a True Name, known only to themselves and their Momma Cats.

[mary607]

wow that is so nice you :) im glad that she is with you!
he doesnt swat or anything, he is actually an amazing cat. he is so adorable he is just so painfully shy and its like he forgets who i am every 5 minutes. hopefully he will see in time that i am here just to give him lots of love and attention. i may try to find someone who has more experience in bringing back cats from abused homes. :) he deserves the best chance ...i think it can be done  

[Piparskeggr]

It took some time to reach Teia, about 2 weeks before she'd let me pet her head (a moment or so at a time), months before she first sat on my lap...even after 2 1/2 years with us, it is a rare event when she'll tolerate being picked up.

The way she limps when she walks, particularly her forelegs, I definitely think that she was physically harmed before the prior folks rescued her from the street.  They treated her with benign neglect, basically provided her a safe, warm, clean place to stay with food, water and a scratch box, but no social contact, for 10 years.

Any being that has been harmed can be healed, but you must have patience and persistence; answering their fear with your kindness, their swats with your caress, their aloofness with your friendship...

...and Teia has helped me as much as I have helped her.  I have fought bouts with depression and anxiety, brought on by not being able (because my wife needed me to be strong during her own bout with PTSD) to deal with a fatal incident in which I was involved during my time in the military 27 1/2 years ago.

Be a little selfish and think through what helping this kitty will do for you.

Take care - Pip

[mary607]

awww good job with Teia. she is beautiful! :) im glad everything worked out. my cat is a one cat only for sure, i have tried since day one with her. i try the best that i can some days are better then others. today he hasnt come out other then to eat and use the litter box. when he was done eating i said nicely come here pinky with my hand down so he could smell it and i told him it was ok and he just looked at me like i was going to hurt him and he ran. yesterday i was petting him giving him belly rubs. im confused. every day its like meeting a new cat. im having trouble... im normally very good with cats. im not rushing him i let him do things on his own time. maybe i should find someone who is better then i am at this....

[Piparskeggr]

Good evening;

Reads like kitty had a bunch of trauma.  He can be reached, but it will take being able to spend time with him...just a dedicated 15 - 20 minutes a day can do it.

If your other kitty is weirded out, and suffers from having a "boarder," looks like she needs some extra TLC, or may truly be a solo cat, despite the largesse you have in your own heart.

Look up the key word Teia in this forum.

Teia bit and clawed my wife and I when we first took her in, she attacked our other cats on sight, and then hid.  We saw her, if she did not see us first.  I had to weigh her food bowl to see if she was actually eating.

I am a stubborn man and would not accept this as a normal state of being for this kitty.  I also desperately needed something in my life that needed my help.

Teia has been my therepy animal for dealing with repressed stress due to an incident that occurred while I was in the Service over 27 years ago.

Missy T is a shining example of what can happen, IF you can dedicate the time and energy.

Our other 3, Kessie, Hildie and Chessie, have never had anything but kindness in their lives.  All 3 are good, happy kitties (though aging, with the problems that can cause).

Teia needed me, as I needed her.

The Tom you took in needs someone who can spend the time he needs.

Love sometimes means knowing when to let go.

Take care!

Pip

[mary607]

i did not mean to select applebr as best answer because i do not agree with what you said.
i cant keep him because my other cat will go on a hunger strike and she is already very thin and her hair will fall out.. this is what happens when i have a foster who actually roams the house. i normally do not have those though.
how can i put my other cat through that....
i have no idea what im going to do ... i love this other cat but i can not keep him i have to find someone who can work with i guess. go into their home and spend the day working with him. ??? i dont know.

[AppleBr]

I would keep on trying harder and harder to keep both, even if it means keeping the new one apart in another room forever - but maybe they finally agree someday,maybe dont takes too much...
Pip has some examples of miracles patience and love does, I'm just with my first 3 in life but I know its possible.
Poor guy doesnt deserve to be moving from one home to another, this wont be good for him, be sure.All the progress can be lost and  what if a new owner just cant  stand it and turn him to  a shelter or so?

[mary607]

yeah i know the new owner is going to have to do everything i did arent they... and what if they cant... he wouldnt respond to anyone but me so the new owner would probably not be able to either. UGH! i want to keep him so bad its just my other cat will not allow him to stay and i dont want him to get even more scared and i cant keep him in one room forever its okay for now because he doesnt want to leave this room.i mean i cant do it to my first cat either she was here first. UGH. this is so difficult. he has finally come out and is laying on my bed right now but i just dont know what to do. i want both cats... oh someone help....

[opus88]

hi Mary, its so darn hard to tell isn't it....could be fear but than it could well be both seeing the terrible treatment this poor little one went through, so good of you to try with him...
either way its going to take time and patience on your part...for him to learn to trust you.
thats really too bad that you won't be the one keeping him, with a new owner he's going to have to go thru this all over again.
but give him plenty of time and love and see what unfolds....bless your dear heart♥

[mary607]

he had just arrived to her house and she put him in there because she has 6 cats she is fostering.. not sure why she had him in the bath tub.... but 10 minutes before i had arrived he had peed himself so he was sitting in his urine. after he looked at me i cleaned him because i felt that he wouldn't bite me or scratch me and even if he did i was okay with that.. i just wanted him to be clean and get him out of her house since he did not like the vet tech.
so do you think he just still really scared? your sure its not a memory issue? he is doing a lot better so i have hope! he is such a brave little guy! thank you for your advice!!

[margypops]

really abused animals in my opinion are very hard to bring back, but many have done it, you have to take a step back and not push him it will make it worse... he is afraid ..so let him come round at his own pace .He hasnt a memory issue in my opinion he is afraid of you or any human ..it takes time .May I ask why he was laying in a bath of urine at a vet techs house ???.