New here - Looking for introduction advice

[singn77]

Good evening. I am hoping someone here can help us. We have two cats, a 4 year old male, Max and a 2 year old female, Maia. Both were adopted from agencies and their relationship took off immediately. My boy became maternal to our little girl and they do everything together. A couple of weeks ago we were adopted by a stray who had been very friendly with us. I collected him, took him to the vet, had him tested, neutered, and shots were given. My little boy Max is an angel, never a hiss or growl, rarely even meows. As I write this he is asleep on my lap so contentedly. The stray, whom we named Meeko, is highly aggressive to Max. However he is very loving towards us. I have never seen cats fight like this. He had puncture marks in his hips and tail where Meeko managed to get a hold of him. I've tried everything I can find online about introducing them, but none of it seems to work. Meeko has his own room that he stays in most the day, only wandering when the others are asleep and closed in their/our bedroom. The couple of times he has come into contact with Max he has torn him apart. He has never bothered Maia. Both kids are scared of him. I hope for this to get better. I came into this knowing that they may not be compatible. I guess I'm looking for advice on something else I might try, or how long I should continue before giving into the notion that he is causing more harm than good and adopting him out. Any help would be welcome. Thank you for your time.

[singn77]

Hi there!  Thank you so much for your post. The doctor told me to pick a number between 1 and 10 and that's how old the cat could be. His teeth and male parts were fully developed which led him to believe he was over the age of 1, so since he needed a number he decided on 2. He's very skittish sometimes and I happen to wonder if he is attacking Max to avoid being attacked. He doesn't know that Max won't attack him, he just knows what happened to him outside. He's very small and had many wounds on him so I imagine he was picked on quite a bit. I appreciate what you have said so much.

Thank you.
Janice

[Piparskeggr]

How ya!?

One thing you didn't write; about how old do you think Meeko is?
If he's been fending for himself, as an unaltered male against other "rude boys," he may still see Max as competition for Maia's (and your) affection.

We've take in a couple of stray girls in the past and the vet told us that it can take from a couple of weeks to a month or so until the hormones completely wash out of the system after either spaying or neutering.

Our latest kitty is Teia chronicled in: Have adopted older cat, have 3 others - http://tinyurl.com/kr3kap is the link to the thread

I'll not rewrite the discussion save to say that Teia's previous people said she started life out as a feral kitten who was beaten badly by another cat.  It's been 6 weeks, as of yesterday and all's relatively quiet.

Time, watchfulness and patience, coupled with the TLC you write about, it'll work.

good luck - Pip

[singn77]

Thank you for your reply. They do have separate litter boxes and food bowls and are in completely separate rooms. The existing cats have roam of the house except for the one room the new member is staying in. They get introduced for increasing times each day with me having water bottle in hand. I understand some cats don't get along with others, but he has only been here for two weeks. I think that is a relatively short amount of time to give up on him. I've looked into Feliway but regarding it's price and other reviews I have read about it not working I was hoping to look for other ways. Just anything anyone might want to toss out there about their experiences introducing new cats to existing cats. Due to the fact that he was a stray he is more aggressive. His first reaction is fight, my cats reaction is flight. Maybe he will eventually become less aggressive and it will be easier. I'm truly just looking for any advice as I don't know who else to speak to about it.

[Savas]

Some cats just don't get along with other cats.

You can try feliway, it may help. Be sure to use separate litter boxes and feed them with separate bowls.

Try looking at the "litter box issues: environment" faq in the health pages, I did a section on resolving issues for resolving new pet issues to a household that should apply.