10 year old boy not making to the bathroom in time

Question

my 10 year old son has a hard time making it to the bath room for a bowel movement, he realizes he needs to go after it is all most out and starts to go in his pants.. it happens about once a week and i get so made and its always at home when he is playing. if we are out he always says he needs to go never poops in his pants.. i tried yelling . sending him to his room now its got to the point where im going to start telling people to embar. him to make him stop..what to do?????

This discussion is related to 6 Year Old Defecates Pants.

Coolbeans760 · Answer

I take his games away, and make him earn them back by cleaning himself better. He'll do good for a while, thus earning a game or two, but then it seems he goes back into remission....and to keep from buying new underware every few months, I'm thinking about putting him back in pull ups. He soils his underware so much, it makes his bedroom stink and I have to wash his clothes by themselves frequently because I hate for any room in my house to stink! I thought about taking him to a child psychologist, would you recommend that?

Coolbeans760 · Answer

I have the same issue with my 7 year old son. I've thrown away numerous pairs of underware, not to mention, having him clean them himself, which he hates to do...but it doesn't seem make a difference to him. He'll stay in soiled underware, maybe playing video games, or whatever, and does not do anything about it until either myself or his father tells him he stinks. I don't invite his friends over because of this, and he and I rarily go out after school because he smells. I bathe him to keep him from being embarrassed in public, but I am at my very wits end.....I yell at him, belittle him, and try to make him realize that he is too old to be doing this, pooping in his pants or not cleaning himself well.....what should I do?

margypops · Answer

Perhaps you could try not feeding into it as maybe it is giving him negative attention, you say he plays video games well take them away as he sits and poops ,so remove any of the things he does that engross him .Does he have plenty of outside activity get Dad involved with sports and Ball games. Focus on his positive side and let him msort the bathroom problem sometimes it is our reaction that makes it worse.

Coolbeans760 · Answer

I have the same issue with my 7 year old son. I've thrown away numerous pairs of underware, not to mention, having him clean them himself, which he hates to do...but it doesn't seem make a difference to him. He'll stay in soiled underware, maybe playing video games, or whatever, and does not do anything about it until either myself or his father tells him he stinks. I don't invite his friends over because of this, and he and I rarily go out after school because he smells. I bathe him to keep him from being embarrassed in public, but I am at my very wits end.....I yell at him, belittle him, and try to make him realize that he is too old to be doing this, pooping in his pants or not cleaning himself well.....what should I do?

dee1298 · Answer

still nothing in his pants its been almost a month. he said he learned his lesson when he had to write 100 times" i will not poop my pants"

margypops · Answer

You handled it well and it sounds like he will make an effort , glad you thought about tellingand did not, its tough sometimes isnt it to figure it all out.

dee1298 · Answer

thank you for your reply. i did not tell any one to shame him -- i thought about it all night, he was very silent when he woke up this morning cause he knew i was mad and upset so he went to summer camp like a normal day. when he got home  he still was not aloud to play he said he was sorry. but what i think i am going to do is this is the last time i will let it go . next time he will start to wear pull ups.. he was told this and he said ok  he said it wont happen again... so im hoping he starts to think and pays attenion to what he needs to do....

margypops · Answer

No dont tell people that would not be good ,it would shame him, could make it worse,its a kind of Laziness, they wait and wait ,its very common. He gets engrossed in playing and forgets to go, dont yell at him ,ask him to go sit in the toilet if he hasnt been,  reminding him each day,It will pass, dont make a big issue of it.