12 yr old stepson drew picture of he and I having sex

[Doriedoo]

His parents split time and he has lived with us (half the time) since he was 1 ½.  His father and I have a 9 year old daughter together.  My SS has an IQ in the low 70’s.  At 7 he had held a little girl down (in public view) and told her to take her clothes off.  When he was 10 ½ his mother found him in bed (at her house)with my sports bra around his pillow. This matter was calmly discussed with SS. A week later he had taken another bra of mine.  We discussed again and my husband told him to knock it off that you can’t go and take peoples private things. The next day he took my underwear from the dirty clothes (we keep in our closet).  When asked why he said it turned him on.  A few months ago we discovered he had been downloading and watching porn on the phone his mother got him. He had withdrawn from everything and only cared about that phone.  One of the searches that he made was “mom and son having sex”.  He lost his phone for a week.  As soon as he got it back he was watching porn again. He called his mom and put on an academy award performance of how a kid (didn’t know his name) at school took his phone at lunch. He was wailing and sobbing and swearing on everything it was true.  I said I will meet you at lunch tomorrow and you point him out.  His mother called principal next morning to report that he was being bullied and some kid took his phone. SS was called to principal office and named the kid that did it and pointed out his photo.  Turned out the kid wasn’t even in the lunch room that day.  It was all an elaborate lie. After losing his phone for the second time I reminded him not to go in my niece’s room (she is in Army now) or anyone elses.  Well a few days later he went in her room (I marked the door so I would know). He lied and put on a big performance again. So now he has drawn an unbelievably obscene pic of me and him having sex. He wrote our names “blank and blank having sex”.  On the next page he had drawn he and his teacher.  No missionary positions here.  He was creative.  I don’t think this is normal behavior to fantasize about a stepmom that has always been in your life and it could not have been any more graphic.  The parents mentioned about getting him to a counselor, but they have done nothing.  I am afraid of him. Sometimes the looks he has makes my hair stand on end.  I am terrified of what he may do to my daughter. My husband doesn’t seem concerned at all.  He told 5 guys at work about the pictures and they told him it was normal.  Huh? My husband works 3rd trick half the time and my daughter and I are alone with SS.  I have a terrible pit in my stomach all the time and am full of anxiety.  SS never takes any responsibility and has excuses for everything.  He doesn’t take care of his hygiene (wiping after pooing, has wiped poo on walls and smells). He is very social, but also gets picked on.  He totally understands right and wrong, but has trouble with reality. He never thinks about consequences.  He draws stories all the time that are fantasy type but they all have stabbings and are bloody.  He also drew a picture of the school before and after he had blown it up with a tank.  I had been molested by my brother and am scared for my daughter.  My husband doesn’t seem concerned at all.  When I told him I didn’t know how I would ever get over this, he told me I was gonna have to.  End of story.

[AnnieBrooke]

I would see about getting the child some counseling whether or not his parents do anything, and if they prevent it or won't go sign the papers or whatever else is necessary, I'd have a come-to-reality talk with your husband about you and your daughter leaving.  I trust your sense of fear to be at the least a signal that things are not right.  Maybe not that he will molest you, but certainly that he is not behaving in an appropriate fashion.

[RockRose]

I used to work at MHMR,  and I can tell you parenting teenagers with mental retardation is HARD.  Boys with normal IQs and a strong desire to behave appropriately and respectfully have a hard time doing it - children with mental retardation have a much more difficult time.

I think you should reach out to parent and educational groups for teens with mental retardation,  and see what help you can get there.

Best wishes.