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2 year old (HELP!)
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2 year old (HELP!)

Hi everyone, just a warning but this may be a long post but I really need some advice. I'm recently engaged to a guy who has a son from a previous relationship.The first thing (and biggest thing that bothers me) is the way my fiance treats his son. Keep in mind that Brandyn just turned 2 years old in October 2012. My fiancee was 26 when Brandyn was born and was never really around babies/toddlers that needed his immediate care (changing, bathing, feeding, basic care type things). Now my fiancee and I do not live together currently (due to lack of jobs in our area) but we're working on it. Back to the point, my fiancee was diagnosed with lymphoma back in August 2012 so he can't move as much he'd like. Brandyn is a very silly, playful, sometimes a pain in the butt little boy. So he tends to get into everything. When it's just him and my fiancee in a room he will purposely do something he knows is wrong. My fiancee will give him a warning but Brandyn does it again. My fiancee will spank him...sometimes hard (not hard enough to actually inflict pain),and always on the butt depending what he did ( I personally do not believe in spanking. I prefer the whole time-out bit. But since that won't work with a rambunctious 2 year old, I tell him NO or distract him). I personally believe Brandyn acts out around my fiancee because he doesn't give Brandyn much attention. Could that be it?
Tags: 2 year old
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3136223_tn?1367964316
CONTINUED: Lastly, he's barely talking. He is starting to repeat words. But he doesn't really say anything else besides: mom, cat and Beth (my fiancee's little cousin who lives with them). We believe that he can say more but chooses not to. At what age do children generally start talking more?  
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535822_tn?1389452880
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say his behavior reflects lack of attention. Children of this age do behave like this its normal ,it upsets me to think of any child being hit, and I think your BF should stop that..I doubt you will change the childs behavior its the father who has to change his so maybe suggest some parenting classes. It also sounds as if the child needs some help with his speech and I would suggest that he goes to the doctor to start and then has speech therapy if its needed, again the problem of lack of attention may not be helping in this area .You obviously care about him best thing would be to move in and help him...good luck  
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377493_tn?1356505749
2 year olds can be frustrating, no question.  I also think it sounds like your fiancee is a bit overwhelmed and could probably use parenting classes.  Does he live alone with the young children?  

As for the talking, there is a wide range of normal.  If you feel there is not enough attention being paid to the child, it is possible that he isn't being spoken to often enough.  A Dr. would be a good start to see if there is an actual delay or not.
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3136223_tn?1367964316
they live with his aunt. as for the talking thing, everyone is ALWAYS talking to him. we think he's just being stubborn
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535822_tn?1389452880
I doubt very much a 2 year old is being that stubborn , sounds like a lack of attention , and you said the dad hits him , maybe as I said Dad could change his ways and parenting skills .
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13167_tn?1327197724
Kayla,  children don't have speech delays out of stubbornness,  although I'm not sure this is a true delay.  All kids mature at their own rate - he seems to connect to people.  

I think you're right to have some concerns,  and you have a nice positive attitude about your fiance's child - which is rare on this board.  ;D

A man who can't move well and has a short fuse shouldn't be a primary care taker of a two year old - is there anyway others can take a more active role?

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377493_tn?1356505749
I also highly doubt this is him being stubborn.  It could be a delay, but there are a host of other reasons small children may not speak.  He may not feel anyone is listening for one.  And it is so important for parents to speak to their children all the time, including them in conversations and just spending time with them.  If his home life is unstable and chaotic, that can cause a delay, although not in the official sense - not sure if that makes sense, but it's the best way I can think of to describe it.  I am basing that comment on your saying he isn't getting enough attention.

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3136223_tn?1367964316
Brandyn is currently with me at my house for a week or so. My fiancee is back in the hospital, he had a bad reaction to the chemo. He could've stayed home, but my fiancee's aunt works and his grandfather who also lives there is 76 years old and 100% blind. He's talking a bit more, though it's not whole sentences. I know he gets attention at home from everyone but everyone whose ever seen him with me says he takes to me more. He still does things he's not supposed to while he's here but I think that's just him being a 2 year old. Right now, he's sitting on my bed with me watching a movie. Which is really rare. He usually doesn't watch TV, =]
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3060903_tn?1398568723
Hi KaylaMarie, it does sound like the nurture part of Brandyn's life is lacking, otherwise there would not be a noticeable difference with the care you give him. Obviously what you are doing is helping more than what is happening at home. Spend as much time as you can, you mentioned you weren't working, so you have the time to give. Make it your business to teach this child to talk in sentences. You may well be his best hope at this time before he get's into school. God Bless you for giving this your full attention. It will pay off in spades when you see that it is your work that is preparing him for school. Maybe the divorce is hard on Brandyn and he could use a chat with a child therapist? It must be SO confusing for him, that his parent's are not together, and not working together adequately (they are not doing what you are managing to do with this child.) Keep up the good work, and i hope that you are soon able to move in with your fiance. It must be so hard for you that your fiance is so sick. You are in my thoughts and prayers Kayla M. God Bless You!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
he should be with other kids his age, if he isn't already. spending time at a day care center once or twice a week could be a good thing for him.

beyond that, doctors, medication, therapy, and religious communities.
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3136223_tn?1367964316
his family is not very religious... neither am i for that matter. ( i believe in God but not any certain religion). and neither of our families have kids his age and we dont have the means for a daycare. i do have a couple of friends though who has kids around his age (but they live out of town),.

UPDATE: he's talking alot more, he doesn't really throw tantrums anymore (unless he's super tired) but he still gets into everything but every kid does lol and my fiance has really stepped up and changed =]
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