3 and 4 year old bad habits

[brittanylynn]

ok, so i hope no body judges me to harshly. I am 21 and have a 3 and 4 year old. I never set a routine and have been very lenient and barely disciplined.Now its getting to the point of not being able to handle my children or even be able to keep a sane mind. Im begining to lose it. So i never could get a set routine in to place. i work until 5, pick them up from daycare, get home around 6. by time i sit down i cant get my self up and get them to bed properly. I tried laying down with them until they fall asleep in their beds but it seems my 3 year old knows when i leave and is either following me right away or  up to an hour later. I made the mistake of letting her sleep with me for so long, but she is bigger and we cant all fit on my bed. I cant get them to help pickup the house, let alone their toys. IM SO EXHAUSTED, that my house has became a pigsty. I just needs some advice how to be a good mom for these guys. Please help.

[specialmom]

Mammo has given you awesome advice.  Really, they are only young once and it is okay if the house is not perfect.  But it is helpful to help them learn the value of helping out.  She had some great ideas for that.  One thing that helps me with my boys (15 months apart in age)------  is to play the 10 minute game.  See how much you can get done in 10 minutes (you can start with five).  You will be amazed . . .  my boys wiz around the house cleaning up their toys.  We also try to make it part of bedtime.  About 15 minutes before bedtime stuff starts (bath, jammas, snack, story, bed)-------  we try to clean up the toys we've been playing with.  The you have to put one thing away before you get out something else rule is helpful too to keep it manageable.  Do you have a mom or sibling that would be willing to take your kids for an afternoon.  I ask because if I get a chunk of time in which my kids are out of the house-----  I can get a good cleaning done.  Otherwise, I pick one room a day and work on cleaning it.  I break it down so it isn't overwhelming.  Being a parent really is hard.  Try to see the fun in it and don't let the work part take over.  good luck

[mammo]

Nobody will judge you, parenting is the toughest job there is!  Plus, being a working mom makes it even tougher. It's not too late to start with them.  Start by rewarding them for picking up their toys, a piece of candy or a sticker. If there are chores you would like for them to do, turn off the TV and tell them no TV until you do this or that, most importantly always stick to your guns with them.  They are at an age when they learn whether mom means business or is just talking, so make good on whatever you say.  Make things a game for them, and make them feel like a big girl for helping you.  Get a calendar and if they go a whole week and get a star for doing something good each day, maybe reward them with a new toy.  They like to know they are doing something "big" and praise, praise, praise. When they don't mind, put them in time-out one minute per year of age.  Tell them why they have to sit there, and then don't discuss it until their time is up.  Then ask if they understand what they did wrong, and if necessary have them apologize, then give them a big hug and tell them you love them. One thing that works with my 3 year old grandson is to act like you can't believe that he can do something like scrape his plate into the garbage and put it in the dishwasher.  I ask "can you scrape your plate all by yourself?" This makes him feel like a big boy and we act so surprised when he does it, and tell him what a big boy he is.  Then when he puts it in the dishwasher, well it's like he just discovered sliced bread! LOL  As for the sleeping problem, I have no idea as my daughter is struggling with this same thing with the 3 year old.  Keep in mind that the house will be there, your children are growing up.  Don't try to be a "super mom" which will only put too much pressure on you. Reward and discipline is what my daughter does with her 3 year old and seems to be the norm for kids this age. Good luck, I know it's difficult but let me tell you something.  I had 3 babies at one time ages 4 and under.  I remember worrying too much about my house, how I wished I could sleep for a week and have some time to myself.  That day came much too quickly, my house stays spotless (except when my grandson visits), I have all the "me" time I want, and can sleep all I want. It's not all it's cracked up to be, and I'd trade places with you in a hearbeat.  You're a good parent, never doubt yourself on this.  Take care...