3 year old circle time problems / not listening at preschool

[Sashamom]

My daughter will be three in two weeks.  She had gone to preschool two days a week for two hours since this past Sept.  She refuses to sit for circle time and is disruptive.  The teacher's aide has resorted to holding my (struggling to break free) child during circle time.  She only follows directions when she chooses to listen.  I don't know what to do.  

The teacher have asked if an early interventionist could come see my child at school.  So I sat in class out of site and observed.  My child behaved until circle time came.  The teacher's aide held her to keep her in the circle and prevent her from disrupting others.  After circle time she played well with other, but after hand washing for snack she sprung from the bathroom and pushed three kids.  Then at some point before leaving she began running around the classroom, not listening to the teachers when they told her to stop.  Finally, there was a second circle which was cut short.  My child wouldn't sit, but neither would other children at this point.  My child spotted me watching her and ran to me, I quickly told her to sit in circle because I didn't like her behavior and she sat in circle in her spot and listened until class was over!!!!  I don't know what to do.  

I don't want the interventionist to work with my daughter in class because I'm aware of tracking and labels put on children.  I made an appointment with a clinical social worker to help us with her behavior.  My husband and I are trying to improve discipline at home, but part of me just says she's 3.  Three year old do this as they are learning to deal with the world.  But if her behavior is so different from most kids in class, is there a problem.

I can homeschool if necessary,  but I want her to be part of a school environment.  Would love any advice.    

[bbug2008]

Today I was told that my 3 year old's teacher has trouble with him listening and cleaning up and running in the hallways.  It has been less than one month of 3 year old pre school and I am upset with the school.  No one has told me any of this, yet the director and teacher have spoken of it.  I find that those first few weeks or even couple of months are quite a transition stage where children are starting to learn to stay in line and follow the routines of pre school.  But, the director did not sound like she thought that way.  My son also has a speech delay and has a hard time communicating and gets frustrated easily when he is not understood.  But, they do not seem to be taking that into account either.  Are these behaviors normal and is my preschool too strict for this age group?

[allmymarbles]

For goodness' sake. The poor kid isn't even three and the experts are all over her. If she doesn't have problems now, she will with all of the inappropriate attention.

[madamvee360]

HI my daughter is 5 in october and has been displaying similare behavioural patterns from around the same age. We are now seeing a child psychologist for help. I do not want her medicated i made that very clear. He said they do nothing of the sort, and if it was warranted that the child displayed symptomes of any behaviour disorder they explore and exhauste every other avenue possible before even thinking about medication, they wouldnt even do that until she reached 3rd grade where their little brains have matures a bit more. My daughter suffers what they say is adhd but its more often than not hereditary and neurological, Its the very few one ini 30 suffer the problems due to their diet. Sometimes trying more organic foods, some with less gluten, sugar and preservatives work for my daughter and more brain testing activities to keep their little brains working. Apparently children who have trouble concerntrating, sitting still and behaving have a little brain that works differently or backwards to ours and its not their fault but the kindy your daughter goes to needs to make sure shes not singled out or bullied because no one realises we all have these same behaviour traits just some grow out of it and the brain starts to recognize signals properly and some dont and suffer with it into adulthood and dont realise whats happening.I hope things are okay with you both good luck

[shmella]

not all day cares are horrible.  You have to do your research and find the right one.  It needs to be a learning center, not babysitters.  They are out there...Campus For Kids Learning Center is one of them.  They really invest in the children's lives. The teachers are loving and dedicated to what they do.  They prepare the children for school, life and most of all they show them by example, how to treat others.  Awesome school, check it out!!

[OneParent2011]

Preschools and daycares have other children in the classroom, they cannot devote all of their time to one child the entire morning while other children are there to learn too. Some of the comments I have read sound like they are saying the preschool/daycare is responsible for making the child adapt, however parents are a child's first teacher and therefore should be consulted first when deciding on something.

As a successful daycare/preschool other strategies could be applied that didn't drastically change everything that was set in place with the other children, however it is the parents job to also help the child transition to what they need to do at school. When parents and teachers are on the same team then everything flows much easier.

If a teacher was suggesting your child to be monitored then you can ask them to write down on paper (always a great idea) what strategies have been attempted so far and if they haven't attempted any others then ask why not; possibly need to find a new school. Never assume though that the teacher should drop everything and force the other children to change completely for one child, it should be a medium ground point; I had a friend whose child was disruptive and the teacher suggested he be monitored, and they also worked on other strategies, well it didn't work out and when he was monitored he was accepted into a school that was able to provide the one on one he needed. Good luck everyone

[Sandman2]

   First, you are very correct to not put your child on meds at 3.  Very few doctors if any would do so.  The standard time is typically around 5 or 6.
   Second, you can't compare your reactions to meds when you were young to what his might be.  Unless, of course, he gets a horrible doctor.  The meds have changed.  The care and knowledge that doctors have now compared to then are also very different (most of the time).
   Third, don't waste your time trying to see a lawyer.  Its a private school.  They can pretty much do what ever they want.  Spend your time and resources trying to find a school that can work with your son.  There are many things that a school can do, but it would be I think a school with not a lot of kids.  In other words the pupil/teacher ratio would be low.  I do think that you should go visit the school and watch him.  For one thing, watching how the teachers interact with him will be helpful when he trys other schools.  You do need to know how he does work in that kind of a setting.
    And yes, there is a very good chance that he is still too young to handle this kind of a setting for that period of time.  I am kind of impressed that they are willing to take him for two hours.  I'm not sure that many preschools would even offer that.  It may be that a compromise can be reached where you start with the two hours and then slowly extend the day.
   Finally, you  apparently had ADHD as a child.  So its a pretty good chance that he has it as well.  Hopefully, you don't want him to repeat what may have happened to you as you grew up.  I (of course) don't know what happened to you.  But I do know what the standard of care was like back then.  Make sure that you are up to date on all of the latest info on ADHD.  I primarily post to the ADHD forum.  If you have any specific questions, please post over there.  Also, there is a book I recommend a lot (for a variety of reasons).  Its probably worth your time (and very little money on Amazon) to get it.  The book is -  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   Oh, and if you do have any more questions, please start a separate topic.  I just kind of stumbled into this because I thought someone was responding to my last post.  Best wishes.