5 Year Old Always in Trouble.. Just started Kindergarten

[RedHdTB]

My son just started Kindergarten and is constantly in trouble.  He has a major problem pushing, shoving, and slapping in the face.  It is ALWAYS the other kids fault.  He lies too well for a 5 yo.  
On the bus, he won't stay in his seat.  He even went as far as to climb over the seats, lay in the aisle.. and skip up to the bus driver.  This was very dangerous.  I grounded him from TV and his DS on a 3 day weekend.
In PE, he is always in trouble for shoving someone.. and then lying about it.  The PE teacher says that someone will bump into him, and he sees that as them hitting him, so he retaliates.  My son is small for his age and has always been hyper.
At home, he doesn't listen.  You can tell him not to do something, and the minute your back is turned, he's doing it again.  
I have tried time-out..  he doesn't care, reward with stickers/prizes.. he doesn't care, taken away tv/video games... he doesn't care.  I have even resorted to using a paddle on his behind.  He just doesn't care.
His doctor has said that he may be ADHD.  Would this have anything to do with this kind of behavior?  I was told he wouldn't have to be tested til later, but does this need to be moved up?  I just really hate to put a 5 year old on medication like that.
Also, his father is in Korea.  He has had previous deployments and he didn't act out like this to this extend, but maybe it's because he's older this time.  His father does not live with him.
Any suggestions?
Thank you!

[benjimom]

also after school make sure he is getting more exercise and getting outside, etc.  I have found that really helps my son a LOT.

[benjimom]

oftentimes ADHD and sensory issues mimic each other.  They are very similiar in some ways, some kids even have both!!   But I would give him more time.  I agree I have tried punishing at home for something that happened at school, not very effective.   If you are really concerned, maybe set up a conference or meeting with the teacher, see if he/she has any ideas and make sure you two are communicating well. The problems become really hard if it's difficult to communicate with the school.  I've had that issue and sometimes last year, I would not know what the heck was going on and it was really stressful. I would be trying to get info, but getting nowhere.

Ask for phone calls if need be, face to face is better than emails.  

The "out of sync child" is a good book.  Also "sensational kids".  I got mine from teh public library if you are trying to save $$.

[Sandman2]

   Very good point by benjimom.
Let me add just a bit.  Whether he has ADHD, SI, or is just a normal kid.  Punishing a child at home for something he does at school, is a complete waste of time and is counter productive.    Kids at that age need immediate feedback.  When you take away privileges on weekend, he has no clue what he did earlier to deserve that (and reminding him won't help).  Let the school deal with the discipline.
  Second you need information.  There are ways to work with ADHD kids at home and at school.  The same goes for SI.  A easy and very informative book on ADHD is,  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   I am sure that Benjimom or specialmom will refer you to good sources for SI.
  By the way, you said, "His doctor has said that he may be ADHD.  Would this have anything to do with this kind of behavior?"  Yes, it (or SI) would explain this behavior very well and it is very typical.  Good Luck!

[benjimom]

I will write more in the morning, but just wanted to say my son had a HORRIBLE year in kindergarten, really acted out. He has been diagnosed iwth Sensory processing disorder and is in OT now and is doing much better in 1st grade behaviorally.  

Really look at him before you put him on meds, he is still quite young. Look up Sensory processing disorder and see if it fits him.  

Go to a child psychiatrist as well if you feel like that will help.  

Kindergarten is stressful for kids and a lot is expected.

[jlr1604]

My son is 5 and going through the same things, I too have tried what seems like everything. His father is also military n is stationed in Washington state(we are in Texas). I don't feel as though my son has ADHD but I am no doctor-he has days where he gets 'green' cards, and he is very sweet and calm at home. Maybe our kids are easily overwhelmed? Hope you get suggestions soon, God bless.

[tinkerbell1124]

Well my sisters oldest boy was the SAME way. He would hit her, kick her, spit on her even. And once he started school it got worse. The teachers who actually finally said something saying he needed to be evaluated. So she did. It was a VERY hard decision for her to make. BUT finally she decided to give it a try. Her son is now 8. He's still a little over hyper, BUT like any boy his age. In school he does well now. Listens and respects people. It was a GOOD choice for him. Sometimes you have to look at is as, IF it's going to better him at school, it's going to better his life in the future. Get what I'm saying???