5 year old boy not interacting in school

[MamaL]

My 5 year old son in not interacting with children at school, he has isolated himself and will not talk or play with others.  When school started last fall he would tell me about his day and who he played with and what they played I later came to find out this was nearly all made up.  With rewards and a few play dates we were able to get him to play with some children for a short time at school but this would only be 1-2 day out of the week.  He seem to be improving at a very slow rate with the reward and a daily progress report from his teacher but in the last few weeks he has lost all ground he had gained.  He has an active imagination and plays great alone pretending with small objects from rocks to bark or string to be in a battle making sound effect etc. but other children have taken notice of this and while I don't believe he has been make fun of it's going in that direction.  He has 2 friends from an outside of school play group and he interacts in a very normal way with them.  He is also 19 months older than his sister and they are best friends and play well together.  When the teachers or children speak to him he can barely respond or make eye contact.   He does well with reading and math but has writing difficulty.  His fine motor skills are behind where they should at this point in the school year.  He has been evaluated for occupational therapy and should start the therapy soon for his fine motor development.  I plan to step up the number of play dates and to pick a friend for him at school and have him over often.  I am very concerned and would love some feedback.

[mcmom154]

How is it going now with your son?  Your comment sounded like you were describing my now 5 year old.  I'm sick with worry.  Any thoughts?

[mordeb]

Has any one mentioned Aspergers or High functioning autism.  Many of these kids only want to play in specific ways and with certain kids that will play in "their" world.  The dysgrapia - fine motor skills, is also another indicator of Aspergers.  The fact that he will not respond well in conversation and eye contact is also classic signs of aspergers.  

[jdtm]

I have been having trouble with my computer so I hope that you read this posting.  I suspect strongly your son is suffering from social phobia - selective mutism to be be exact.  Please "google" the term "selective mutism" to find information on the internet.  Many educators and medical personnel are not aware of this disorder and so, it can be difficult to find a correct diagnosis.  With proper treatment, the prognosis for sm (as this disorder is commonly called) is excellent.  Please let me know if I can be of more help as I have had a lot of experience with selectively mute children.

[LRM1021]

It sounds like he might have social anxiety disorder-- which is an extreme form of shyness, bascially. I think you should bring him to a child psychologist or child psychiatrist for an evaluation. If he does have social anxiety disorder, this can be treated. Good luck.