new baby help

[mommy2724]

I have a three and a half year old son and I am almost 6 months pregnant. We have talked to him about the baby and let him know that no matter what he is so important to us and we love him so much and he will have someone to play with and help take care of. He likes babies lol he is excited most the time and talks about getting the baby stuff and playing with her but sometimes he's kinda mean about her. I figure its normal that he don't really understand all that's gonna happen. I'm wondering if anyones kid acted the same way and if it gets better once the baby was born. Does the kids bond good? Need advice please!

[ashleyjean913]

oh it'll go good!! you'll do great and that baby will be a year old before you know it ;) glad you feel better!!

[mommy2724]

Thank you so much. I feel so much better.  I'm suddenly more excited and less nervous. I have a 1 yr old neice and he loves helping take care of her. Toys and getting diapers and picking out clothes. I can just imagine him doing that with his sister too and it just warms my heart :) I can't wait to see them together. Still nervous about surgery tho... lol oh well.

[ashleyjean913]

I think at their age that its hard to interpret what real love is or what it means. It's been a battle for us because of the close ages of our kids. My oldest was 21 months when second baby was born and he was mean..so mean..and never stopped being mean (that is my son with ODD) but when 3rd baby was born my second child was also 21 months and she always wanted to hold baby and be loving..then when our fourth came along our 3rd was only 14months and he was all love too. I wouldn't worry so much ab out what he says now..it's more about how they act. And most kids are loving towards babies. As moms we just stress so much and you don't have to stress. Don't worry, even if he doesn't grow too fond of baby he will once baby is laughing at him and grabbing - playing - crawling..the toddlers and kids always love that. Right now just focus on yourself :) b/c i tell ya the difference between one kid and two is pretty big. I look back on two and think geez what was i complaining about!! haha..now having four and seeing how easy two are. But when i was a mom of two I was stressed b/c it was such a big change. Just focus on the small joys in life and don't let the rest stress you out. For every moment you're stressed you will lose something good no matter how insignifigant. Good luck with your pregnancy and birth as well!!

[mommy2724]

Thank you so much for you help ashleyjean913.  Its amazing how I have siblings myself and have lived through sibling rivalry but when it comes to my kids I feel so lost. Most of the time wyatt is excited. He said ealier that he didn't want her to come out then two seconds later said he wants to get her stuff like toys and animals. I don't know who is more confused me or him. And of course it hurts my feelings when he says stuff mean because I want so bad and hope so much that he loves her as much as I love him and her. I know its a change for him I'm just alittle nervous I guess cause its new to me too having another lil one to love and take care of.

[ashleyjean913]

I wouldn't worry..unless time has passed and he is accessivly mean to the baby..I have a 5,3,2,1year old and I have had issues with my oldest from day one. He was never nice to his younger siblings and still isnt..a certain amount of sibling rivalry is normal and you will know when it is out of hand. I found my son has ODD and that is the reason for the behavior. I doubt you will have to worry about that though. Just give it time and give him  your love as often as possible :)