5 year old temper

[Amy3737]

My child is very.. strongwilled and goes into these horrible tempers. I don't want to make him sound horrible because he can be very pleasant and loving and is a smart little boy. If something doesn't go his way it sets him off and loses control, he will start hitting, throwing things across the room, tears things apart, he even as of yesterday started overturning his small table and chairs and tossing them around. He is also very str He has even tried ripping pillows.  The other day we were in the store and he hasn't done this for a few years but started screaming and hitting met in the store.  Made a big scene.  When he does this I take some of his toys away and make him earn them back when he shows me good behavior for the day.  As soon as he gets a toy back it seems like he forgets and throws another temper and I have to take it away again.  I have a mound of toys in my room.  I also do time outs but getting him to sit and stay without hitting or throwing things takes a lot of time and work.  I also when he gets frustrated tell him he can go to his bed and try to work his frustrations out.  Do you have anymore suggestions or tips I can use to help defuse this temper.  When he gets frustrated he just doesn't know what to do so he loses it.  I want to get control over this.  I worry since he's starting to get older.  If you have any tips or stategies I can use to help him, because he's a very sweet boy, loving boy otherwise.

[Amy3737]

I agree to ignore some of it and definitley should praise more when he has great moments.  But if he doesn't get his way even with his siblings he will start hitting them and that to me is unacceptable.  I want him to know that is not ok to hit.  How do you teach a child that it's not ok to hit and throw and bang things around if you just ignore.  I do pick and choose my battles.  If he's in his bedroom and throws his blankets off his bed or hits his wall I do ignore so that's one reason I send him there to get his frustrations out, but when he's trying to break other things in the house that is not acceptable and needs to have some consequence to that such as sitting on time out or taking a toy away. Taking the toys away worked when he was three really well.  But recently he is throwing a temper every other day over something.  So the toy he earned back gets taken away again.  He just turned 5 in January so part of it I'm sure is immaturity.   I just don't want my child growing up not knowing how to cope when he gets upset or doesn't get his way.  I just hope this is just a stage and that he'll grow out of it.  I'm doing everything as a parent that I can to help him because I love him so much and he's so cute and loveable otherwise.  

[margypops]

I understand ,they are all pretty sweet and loving and sometimes it is a matter of the Child/parent interaction that needs correcting by the parent,Forget the toy thing  its not working is it give him the toys back...What is triggering these reactions from him, what happens prior to the tantrums? My idea is that you dont feed into it as he is getting negative attention from it, focus on his positive side and praise him when he does something right.When he goes into a tantrum walk away and let him yell it out ,take no notice... get him into a lot of Physical exercise , sports and ball games,