4 year old fits.

[mom2joshnlauren]

My son is 4 years old and recently I had him tested for ADHD. The Doctor said that he observed no ADHD tendencies but that he is extremely intelligent for his age. He added that my son is processing at the level of a 6-8 yr old verbally and 4-6 yr old non verbally.
The problem we are having is that our son has these terrible tantrums when he does not get his way. He usually hits himself in the head when he is mad and has been known to throw things. He screams when his shows are turned off or he is made to eat. (it is impossible to get him to eat)
Otherwise, he is a loving little boy and very sweet most of the time. He is just extremely defiant and is constantly challenging myself and my husband.
Any ideas?

[mom2joshnlauren]

Thanks for the helpful advice.... We don't really make a big deal about the eating because I know when he gets hungry he will ask for something. He has been enrolled in pre-school and he behaves perfectly there. He eats, naps and listens there but when he would come home it was like a terror unleashed. This is why I initially took him to the Doctor and he told me that our son was bored and not being challenged and because he is so smart, he is testing the waters. We did try something today that seems to be working..... I have told him that Santa can see him and is watching him. He is watching to make sure that he listens to Mommy and Daddy and that he does not whine when he is asked to do something. This helped me today with him a little bit. I also am planning on getting a friend of ours to call him and pretend to be Santa. I was thinking he could reiterate to our son the same things that I have told him about listening and being good. I know it is only for a short time and Christmas will be over soon but if it works now and helps to create a better child for the time being maybe it will last.

[Natta1980]

In relation to eating, do not MAKE him eat, make him SIT with you, he should get the social component of eating, and then maybe will eat. Limit juice/milk/snacks he consumes between meals


Good luck

[Natta1980]

He has a problem with transitions.


Get him on schedule  - so much time to watch TV, eat at this time, sleep at that time.....

Give him a verbal warning that in 5(2-3) minutes TV will be turned off. Set a timer (visual works better for us). Do not give into "5 more minutes please" - my neighbour's child HAS to have his 5 more minutes because he is always given it (for 5 years). BIG problem at school.

It is important to have family meal times - we kind-a- allowed my sone (1-3) eat whenever he pleases since he would not eat with us(or, rather, he would not sit still and it would give my husband "indigestion", it created difficulties in pre-school...DH had to get over it.....With a little bit of insistence, he eats with us now:) Still cannot really sit still, but hey....

[Cindy84]

I am not so sure I can help with the tantrums.  However as far as your son not eating.....try not to make it such a big deal.  When he gets hungry trust me he will eat.  My nephew never wants to eat when his family eats or otherwise.  But, when he gets hungry he comes and asks for something.  Hope I helped a little.  : )