5yr old obsssed w/video games

[Monteer]

My step-son's mother took off with him for 3 1/2 years ago he is now 5 and a half. he lived with us befor she took him because for neglect reason DFS placed him with us. Well, we are seeing him regularly now and he has developed an un reasonable obsession with playing video games. From the time he wakes till he sleeps. I know the joggling between parents is hard on a kid, but he was so little he doesnt even remember anything. The visits are going well he even said he wants to live with us. So im just curious why he feels the need to do nothing but play video games. i cant even get him to go to the toy store. We have had talks about good touch bad touch and i dont think he is lieing but he said nothing like that has ever happened. There r no signs of abuse or neglect in the present time from his mother. so i am out of ideals. he doesnt like to do hardly anything that kids his age like to do . he only has the interests of say a 10 year old boy. and he doesnt know how to intertain himself it kinda gets to you after a while. like you have to constanty intertain him or he will be absolutly board. he is well behaved though. and he hardly will play with any toys. when we r at a store he want ever toy "because of the packaging" but when we get it he just wont play with it hardly. please help me understand his behavior, and give advice on how to get him to "play" and act like a 5 year old

[LRM1021]

Your child has been through a series of traumas -- being neglected, then placed with parents, then abducted, and now being brought back to you on a part time basis. He had to develop a pretty thick skin at a young age to be able to deal with all of this. Sounds like he probably had to grow up pretty fast .

He needs to be in therapy to allow him to process his feelings about his situation, so that he can learn to feel more confident about himself and his ability to live in the world. This is not something you should expect to get better without professional help for your child.

[greengeeny]

A five year old addicted to video games is not unusual.  If they are around video games the majority of the time, that is what they will do.  If you dont like him playing, take it away...plain and simple.  He might not know how to play at first.  And, it sounds like he is the only child in the house.  So, he doesnt have that other interaction to help him learn how to play...except for you.  So, my suggestion is to get him a new toy...and put him in his room by himself to learn how to play.  When he comes out, gently redirect him back to the toy...or toys.  Get something exciting like a big lego set or action figures so he can role play similar to his video games.  It will take time to teach him how to entertain himself but he will learn.  He probably was used to being told to play video games so that he wasnt bothering anyone before.  If you want him to play with regular toys, you might have to deal with his boredom for a while.  He will adjust if you stick to your guns.  Try taking him outside to a park or introducing him to something new.  That might work as well.

[SL345]

For the most part excess "screen time" (i.e., computer games, video games, television watching) are all easy ways to escape from the demands of everyday life. This boy may have learned to spend his time in safe and non-demanding ways. This may have been what his mother permitted. He needs to gradually begin to trust and to try to break out of old unhealthy patterns. It's going to be a struggle, especially if this still goes on at his mother's. As the step-mother, you need to be careful in this situation. His father should ideally be the one to set the firm limits about screen time in this situation. Set a time limit each day and encourage him to use it to figure out what and when is most important to him (e.g., when he is getting ready to leave). Talk to him and encourage him to try new things. Give him a lot of empathy for it being hard to change certain "habits." He can learn over time that it may be one way with his mother but another way at dads. Good luck.

[teenia]

video games are addicting and it will get worse.  It's important for you to limit video game time.  He will learn how to entertain himself.  Help him now so he won't have a bigger problem when he is an adult.

[jd1419]

I have a five year old son--he hardly ever plays video games--that is just not something we have in our household--I do let them play v-smile or a TV golf game and I do have a few computer games and they play them as well but it is for about fifteen minutes and then they get bored and want to play with real toys or color or when it is nice outside to go out and play....it is how they are shown how to play....I would say when he is at your house take away the video games or set a timer and say when this goes off video time is over...also if you know of any other children around his age that can come over and help him learn how to play that may help you also...he is still young and as his a parental figure you can stillhelp him relearn on how to be a little boy--if there is away for you to speak with the mother and have her also limit his creen time that will help the process much quicker.   Is there any way you can enroll him in a preschool or daycare setting that will help him understand how other kids his age socialize?

[jd1419]

I have a five year old son--he hardly ever plays video games--that is just not something we have in our household--I do let them play v-smile or a TV golf game and I do have a few computer games and they play them as well but it is for about fifteen minutes and then they get bored and want to play with real toys or color or when it is nice outside to go out and play....it is how they are shown how to play....I would say when he is at your house take away the video games or set a timer and say when this goes off video time is over...also if you know of any other children around his age that can come over and help him learn how to play that may help you also...he is still young and as his a parental figure you can stillhelp him relearn on how to be a little boy--if there is away for you to speak with the mother and have her also limit his creen time that will help the process much quicker.   Is there any way you can enroll him in a preschool or daycare setting that will help him understand how other kids his age socialize?