Normal or Abnormal Sexual Exploration?

[worriedmom1585]

My  4 1/2 year old was involved in a "group show and touch" session with some other kids from our neighborhood. All 5 of the children were between the ages of 3-5. We were having a barbeque and all of the kids ended up inside in one of the children's bedrooms. When one of the adults went looking for the kids, they were found partially undressed. Initially all the moms involved believed this to be normal, age-appropriate behavior. I discussed it with my son and told him that it was okay to be curious, but not okay to touch other people's bodies. When he told us more about the event, he said that one of the boys suggested "sucking" on each other's penises. He said that they sucked on each others penises until "they almost pee peed." That seemed to cross the line for me, and I was mortified to hear it!! I discussed it with the other moms, and they talked to their children as well. None of the children will say who initiated that game, and I know all these families. None of these children are exposed to inappropriate TV or material. None of them seem to be adversely affected by the event - none say that they felt coerced or forced or scared. In fact they all seemed to be quite willing to talk about it when questioned. I don't feel like anyone was abused, yet this sounds like abusive behavior. We have all agreed that the kids should play only within eyesight for a while, and we have all had talks with our kids about the inappropriateness of touching others. I'm still freaked out!!! What to do?

[worriedmom1585]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!

[aid821]

I understand you're concerned about what happened however, i think you did the right thing by telling your son that nobody is to touch him and vice versa. I do believe it was a case of curious exploration not abuse. If your son come to you and said that someone touched him, he said stop, and it continued, then i'd be wanting answers. I imagine all the other mums explained the same thing to their children about touching aswell as all being in agreeance that they will now play together in eyeshot.

One thing i'd add to when talking to your son is, if anyone does touch him he is to come straight to you and let you know. This encourages open communication aswell as reinforcing to your son that he can come and talk you about anything he's concerned about. All the best :)