6 year old son really emotional

[sharonmcneill1984]

my 6 year old son gets really emotional for no real reason. silly little things set him of like having to do his home work, having to stop doin what he is doin. few days ago he had friends over to play the were at the house for bout 5 hours but as soon as i said it was time to go home he burst out crying because he didnt want them to go another time he cried because his teacher forgot to give him a sweet at home time its gettin me down that he is does this all the time what can i do to help him toughen up im afraid it will cause bullying at school as he is so sensitive

[specialmom]

jdtm, I've not heard of that book but will look it up.   Sounds like a good one.  I do think understanding what is at the heart of our children's emotional reaction is very helpful.

I also think that some kids (and some adults, sadly) have missed a step in learning how to deal with their emotions.  It can be hard to know how to appropriately vent all of that feeling inside.  I think this is something you can help your son with.  You can start by also going to the library to check out books written for kids on emotions.  There are all kinds of them and they put feelings into kid language.  Read these books together and talk about how your son feels these emotions.  Then tie it to how he chooses to handle them.  Suggest alternative things he can do.  Instead of crying, he can use his words, take some deep breaths, make a plan for the next play date, etc.  And actually mom, you can really help here.  He sounds like transitions are hard for him and that is not uncommon.  

Sometimes role playing other ways of handling our emotions so that they can see it-------- as in they watch you act it out, can be very powerful in showing them alternative approaches to handling something.  

So, when a play date is about to end, he gets a 5 minute warning.  Then when it is one minute until the play date is over ----------  take him and the other child and make a plan for the next get together.  That way he knows that another time to play is coming up and he doesn't need to be upset about this one ending.  When he is busing doing something fun and he must stop to do something else, give him visual warnings.  A digital clock works well.  You could tell him he has 5 more minutes to play his game but when the clock gets to 12:00, we must stop to eat our lunch.  Then one minute beforehand, warn him again.  Lots of kids need this extra time to transition to the next thing.

Now, some kids are highly inflexible.  This is actually a sign that they are trying to cope with something.  Finding out what that is is very important to help them work through the situation.  If he routinely avoids homework, why?  Is writing hard for him, for example?  
So good luck

[jdtm]

First of all, there is a reason "why" your son gets emotional and thus his behaviour.  The reason might not be obvious to you, but it's there.  I'm wondering if your son is "highly sensitive".  There's an excellent book titled "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron which describes this emotional issue and how parents (and teachers) are to respond.  If you google the title of this book, you should be able to find out more about being "highly sensitive".  This book is available on-line, in bookstores and probably your local library.  All the best ...