6 year old will not go to bed

[Atwitsend2009]

Hi. I am so frustrated right now. It is 11pm at night and my 6 year old daughter will not go to sleep. I live with my mom and my daughter and I share a bedroom. She has her own bed. She says that she can't sleep without me in the bedroom. I keep putting her back in bed over and over and over again and she just keeps getting up. I live in a townhouse and she flips out if I go in the basement to watch tv so, I stay in my mom's bedroom to watch tv after I put her to bed. This usually works. But recently she has started getting up. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. About a year ago she was going through this stage that she would scream when I put her to bed. She would beat on the door. It was awful. There were many nights that I cried because I just didn't know what to do with her. I have threatened to sleep on the couch and not sleep in the same room with her. That worked the last time. It isn't working this time. When my mom goes to bed, I'll go downstairs and watch tv. And quite often she'll get up and my mom will let her sleep in her bed with her. I told her not to do that anymore, to make her go back to her own bed but nothing is working. HELP! I don't know what to do. She starts school tomorrow and hasn't been to sleep yet. She'll be falling asleep in school.

[91004]

What is here schedule. When it isn't school days. What is her bedtime? What time does she get up? Do you give her a nap?

[Atwitsend2009]

She goes to bed at 8pm every night regardless of school or not. She is on a schedule. Always has been. She was a great sleeper when she was a baby. I don't know what happened. She has always had this attachment to me. I can't even go out of the room without her following me. She has to know where I am all the time.
She has always been an early riser. Doesn't matter what time I put her to bed. She gets up when the sun comes up. Sometimes earlier. No, she doesn't take a nap. I make her sit down and watch a movie to wind down but that's about all I'll get. She hasn't taken naps since she was 4.
She didn't go to bed last night until almost 12am. She kept everyone up. And the only reason she went to sleep is because I went to bed. Her bed is in my room.

[91004]

Try a later bedtime make it 8:30 or 9:00 instead of 8:00. Her bed being in your room makes it harder and others being in the house also. I take my two boys to bed at 8:30, we will lay and talk for about 15 minutes, then I will say I have a few things to do then I will be up to go to bed. I assure them I can hear them if they need me, tell them goodnight and go downstairs. If they scream I don't even say anything only if they keep it up then I tell them to go to sleep will give a hug and go back downstairs. With mine they don't like the dark so I tell them if they keep it up I will turn off the light in the bathroom. Maybe some of this will help.

[specialmom]

You mentioned that these late nights are right before the school year starting.  My son did the same thing and I think it was because of the anticipation of the school day.  Excited and a little nervous.  I bet this will get a little better once she gets into the routine for school.

However, with regards to her need for you being in the room with her to sleep or near by----  well.  You DO sleep with her.  So I'm afraid that until you change that---- it will be hard for her to understand, "okay, now mom is in the room, and now she is not".  Is there anywhere in the townhouse that you could sleep without her?  In the basement?  It will be  hard to implement too much of a change with your coming into the room every night.  Otherwise, I tried with my 5 year old that we've never slept with but got into a bad habit of having some special time with daddy by watching tv in bed with daddy everynight at bedtime.  He would want to do it for hours and keep coming back even after the tv was off.  We nipped it in the bud.  He gets 5 minutes of tv with dad and then we put him to bed.  He will get up but we never waiver---- we walk him back to his room.  We don't talk much to him at this point---  just walk him back and say go to sleep now.  It has worked pretty well.  But I don't know how this would work for ----- stay in bed and I'll be in later . . . She's now been trained to need you and you can't make a clean break of this yet unless you can change your sleeping arrangement.  So wheel and deal I guess.  15 minutes with mom and then to bed.   Good luck.